Care of the Soul: Space in Between

End of an Era

2010-05-18T09:26:00.003-07:00

Some of my regular readers might not be aware, but I have changed my direction in life and left the field of chaplaincy, and vocation ministry. This was not an easy decision to make, but it has been liberating. This is the beginning of the rest of my life. Where the road will take me is unknown at this point.

While I am no longer in vocation ministry, I know that spirituality, life and God don't go on vacation, or hiatus, just because we do. I'm not sure if I will be doing a lot more with this blog on an intentional basis any more.

I'm looking forward to the next phase of life's journey. Where I'm going to exactly, is as yet unknown and I'm looking forward to the challenge.

It's been quite a ride eh?

The Fall from Grace?

2010-05-18T09:01:00.003-07:00

The latest in the news is the revelation of Robert Munsch, beloved children's author, that he is a recovering alcoholic and cocaine user. Why did this not shock me? Does it change my love of his writings? No. I remember my first encounter with Mr. Munsch was a television recording of his reading of "Mud Puddle". "A MUD PUDDLE JUMPED ON ME!!" I will never forget his wild hair and over dramatic reading on this story. I fell in love with Mud Puddle, and Mr. Munsch at the age of 5. But never owned one of his stories until the printing of "Love you Forever", which I bought for one of the children in my life. (Then it dawned on me that I could buy one for myself..)

Considering the work that I have been doing for the past 13 years, it is not surprising to me --that Mr. Munsch has revealed his struggle with mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. I remember my first encounter with bipolar disorder. I met a woman in the throes of mania. Her mind racing, and the outlandish things coming out of her mouth, jumping from one subject to another... trying to get her to "see reason" was not an option at that point. After the regulation of her meds, she seemed to find a calm medium, but it was quite a ride.

For Mr. Munsch to reveal the disorder and drug usage, one would think that this would cause a plummet in the respect that the world has for him, but according to reports, the incoming mail for the author, to his family and publicists are positive. One would think that this is not an "image" or "role model" that we would want for children. But my initial thought was that this revelation of a mental illness and subsequent drug use was a reasonable explanation for the outlandish but charming stories. Not that all bipolar persons have delusions, or hallucinations, but from my experience, there are the outlandish thought processes.

The fact that Mr. Munsch has prospered in the face of his struggles, and has been loved for so long. ... only makes some of us love his achievements even more.

2010-04-25T14:53:00.003-07:00

As you may know, pastoral care was founded by Christians and has mostly Christian following/foundation behind the work. Most of my colleagues that I have run into through CAPPE are Christian. It is rare for me to find a Jewish, Buddhist or other tradition.
This morning, in my church, the minister was preaching about the sending of the Holy Spirit. The text was John's gospel, chapters 14 and 16. One of the comments about this text is that Jesus left us but sent another. That being the Holy Spirit. In Greek text, the term for the counselor or Holy Spirit is "paraclete" παράκλητος (paráklētos, "one who consoles, one who intercedes on our behalf, a comforter or an advocate").

One of the other definitions given was "one who is called in to come along side". This I thought was interesting as this is what chaplaincy is.

Chaplaincy is about walking along side with someone through the various experiences of life. We are called to come in, and to walk along side the person, as a means of providing comfort, assistance and guidance through a difficult time.

One of the minister's comments or rather a notable quote, was about a previous time that he preached about "paraclete". He said that one of his parishioners who is hard of hearing came up to him at the end of the service and said "I didn't think that the Holy Spirit was a parakeet. I always thought of the Holy Spirit as a dove, but you kept saying that it was a parakeet."

Right drug, right reason

2010-04-18T14:13:00.003-07:00

I have noticed a poster on the board on one of my units. It was a "new" protocol a few months ago for nursing. There were 5 "rights" that has now become 7. 2 were "right' drug to the "right" patient for the "right" reason. This change was likely implimented so that people could make certain that they were medicating patients in the proper doseages for the proper reason.

I was thinking about this and some of the decisions that we make in life. It has always been important that my decisions are based on the right reasons. Often we make decisions that seem right for that moment, but in hindsight we regret it. And once implemented cannot by changed..with huge consequences.

The difficulty related to our decisions/actions and the seemingly right motivation, I think, is that we tend to make decisions either from an intellectual reasoning... or an emotional reasoning. Or in the "heat of the moment". But more often than not, people do not consider the rationale or consequences of their actions at all. No one wants to admit that they are wrong about something that they did... or didn't do.

Back to the "right drug, right reason" premise -- the idea is to consider why we are performing the action. Rather than because this is how it is done, or this is what we have always done... (not considering all factors to a decision..) I think this applies to other decisions in our lives as well. Some are mundane, (what to have for breakfast, what to wear), to monumental (what I believe about the world, how I treat other people) and while overthinking is not recommended, it is still good to pause from time to time and consider the rationale to our actions.

Am I doing this for the right reason at the right time? ( and at times, you have to trust your instincts, and act on faith.)

Update on life

2010-03-28T22:38:00.002-07:00

Yes I know... it's been a while since I put something of substance rather than throwing a poem or picture on here while cleaning files.

So life has calmed down from the roller coaster craziness for the time being. I think I have alluded to the CPE training that I took to get to this job. For 3 years now, I have been working on my specialist certification. So it is done. I will not go into details of the labor and pain that it took to get to it , but suffice it to say, I have passed. And it will be ratified soon. Then I can move on with my life. It is a big weight off my shoulders as I have been struggling to acquire/gather all the documentation required for the interview.

The certification is important because in most places hiring CPE trained, specialist is minimum. To get to specialist, you need 2 basic units and 2 advanced. One "unit" is usually 8 months for 2 days a week, or 5 days for 12 weeks in the summer. So either way, it takes a while to accumulate. It is intensive and emotionally and financially exhaustive. The way I explain to people is that it is like I now have my masters with this certification. (I have a masters degree, but this is the best metaphor for the CPE training.)

So now I will take a nice break and go visit my family who live elsewhere, so I don't see them that often. Then we'll see how work goes and whether the renewed vigor has returned.

Quote of the day

2010-03-25T08:07:00.002-07:00

Yesterday I was consoled by a friend with the quote "we plan and God laughs." I've really learned how annoyingly true this quote can be. (But I know that God in his/her wisdom, knows better than I, so let's see what curve balls life will throw.)

Lessons Learned... Advice from a fellow blogger

2010-03-17T08:04:00.003-07:00

Every morning on my commute to work, I read the free paper 24 hours. This was one of the articles this morning. It is actually a blog post and I found the "article" to share with you all. It has important "lessons learned". Written by Amy Fabulous.
While it is not my experience exactly, I like 99% of it.

Today is my birthday. Another year lived, and what a year it has been.

Components of my life have changed dramatically – my home, my career, my headspace…I guess you can say, I’ve grown up. While I will always be the girl who gets excited over a cupcake, daydreams of ballerina twirls, wears her heart on her sleeve and believes that romantic, earth moving, unconditional love exists, I am also a woman who has made mistakes, wasted tears, held back due to fears but, fortunately, learned a lot during the ride.

Today, I look back on my year, and would like to share some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

On work:

You can create your destiny. Determine and visualize where you want to be first and foremost as after, you can discover the steps needed to get there.

Calmness is an acquired skill. Train yourself to handle the most intense situations with a calm, cool and collected demeanor which others will find reassuring and comforting.

Confidence cannot be faked. It’s energy. What’s worse is if you are insecure about the value you provide and try to overcompensate by loud theatrics, unnecessary comments or go off on a tangent.

If you are on the agency/vendor side – NEVER get too comfortable. Remember, your relationship is business first and foremost. Dress appropriately and when in doubt, wear an undershirt. I am your client and do not want to see your hairy chest during a pitch.

Balance. Doesn’t matter how busy or important you are, if you don’t get some proper “me” time and balance – your work, productivity, output, relationships and efficiency will suffer in the long run.

Dress the part, act the part, talk the part, walk the part, be the part.

“Complaining is not a winning strategy”. Come with solutions and options, weigh the pros and cons of each. Move forward.

A lesson I learned while working at DDB and with my current company. Mediocrity or simply “good” is not enough. Strive for greatness. If you cannot say that you’re proud of what you’ve produced, then don’t bother.

If it’s your profession, do not be afraid to ask for compensation for your services, ideas or expertise. Your time is money, don’t just give it to anyone.

There is a difference between being aggressive and assertive. As a woman, don’t overcompensate for your insecurity or fear by acting aggressive and bitchy. Be assertive – know your value, ask for what you want and have the data to back up your requests.

Always be prepared to pitch.

When I’m about to get emotional or take something personally over a work situation, I take a pause and ask, “What would a man do in this situation?” It helps me remove the sensitivity, hormones and unnecessary drama to move forward.

On Friends:

Your community is a key pillar in your joy, empowerment and happiness. Be open, share, give, contribute, bring value and appreciate.

Don’t be the chick who disappears off the face of the earth once you have a boyfriend. It’s lame, it’s old and quality friends don’t deserve that.

If you always come to the table thinking of what you can do to give and to make the other person happy, you will always win. The ones who are takers and who don’t add value to your life will eventually weed out.

As you grow, you can also grow out of your friendships. People change and grow apart, that’s just a fact of life. Don’t feel guilt or do things out of obligation because of that.

Make effort. Invest in your relationships with key friends.

On Love and Men…

“The most important relationship is the one with yourself.” Work on yourself, learn, grow, and once you are at a place of contentment and self love, that is when you truly ready to create love with another. No one can fix you, at least not for long.

Have standards, not expectations. Standards is a level of quality, respect and value exchange that are non- negotiables. You deserve to be treated the way you treat others. Expectations are the check list of unrealistic ideals and demands which is often rooted in a sense of entitlement.

Likes likes like. You like people because they resemble the parts you like about yourself. You also dislike people for this very reason. Who you are drawn to and draw in, are thus entirely due to your own energy.

Know your needs, values and non-negotiables. If there is a conflict of what needs can and cannot be fulfilled, it’s best to be honest and address it earlier than later. You have three options, one person changes, you accept the situation entirely for what it is, or you remove yourself from the situation.

Do what you say. Say what you mean.

Don’t ever take each other for granted. That’s giving up. Always try.

Know your language of love and what your partner’s language of love is. You can make effort to show your love in the language they understand (quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gifts and words of affirmation).

You allow people to treat you the way they do.

Show compassion.

Relationships don’t go on cruise control. They need constant attention, care and effort. Whether this means dates, surprises, spontaneity or taking up a hobby to grow together, find ways to keep it exciting.

Always want the best for your partner and wish happiness for them. Even if this means at times you have to compromise, watch a movie you don’t want to or be patient with your needs.

Guys – when a girl is upset, insecure or just needing attention, sometimes all she really wants is a huge hug that tells her everything is going to be okay and reassurance of your feelings and support.

Every real man, has a plan. Have faith.

On Feeling Fabulous

Make an effort on your presentation. Laziness is not an excuse.

Be thankful everyday and share your feelings of gratitude with people the people who touch your life.

Give. Engage in random acts of kindness. Help people. Be kind and generous without expecting anything in return. Karma will come back to you ten fold.

Have a clean home and tidy desk.

Seek the goodness in others. People will become what you expect of them.

Do thoughtful things that will make others happy. Happiness is contagious.

To my friends, my amazing sisters, and community – thank you for showering me with love and kindness. I feel so strong, empowered and fortunate because you are a part of my life.

Poem for the day

2010-03-11T21:12:00.004-08:00

Pinkish-white blooms

fluttering the in wind

like a delicate bridal veil.

Poem - Eulogy

2010-02-25T11:56:00.003-08:00

Eulogy

I don't want to keep planning

your eulogy,
filling my mind with details
of your impending funeral:

choosing the casket
for the viewer's sake
as we've both agreed upon
ecologically sound cremation,

our ashes to colour sunsets worldwide
and flavour all seven oceans
-- so we, earthlings,
return to our earth --

picking out the place
-- temporary for ceremony's sake --
why are they called funeral homes?
who is ever 'at home' there?
though they post 'visiting' hours,
yours or mine?

deciding on which charity
in lieu of flowers
when all that's flowering is loss,

settling a time, one final imposed date,
who will speak what music
which clothes menus for mourners?
even thank-you cards for those who grieved
-- 'paid their respects' --
commercial to the end.

Things Unsaid by Bernice Lever

This is from a poetry book that I found a few years ago at the Word on the Street Festival. Signed by the author.

2010-02-23T14:09:00.001-08:00

Over the past few days, death has beckoned at my door. From the conversations that I have had with the individuals, they seem to be saying ....

My Cup
by Robert Friend

They tell me I am going to die
Why don't I seem to care?
My cup is full. Let it spill.

Quote of the day

2010-02-03T08:18:00.000-08:00

God made you
as you are
in order to use you
as he planned.

S.C. McAuley

End times... 2 movies

2010-01-31T18:35:00.002-08:00

We returned this afternoon from the theatre where we saw Legion. This is about the end of world as we know it. But with the premise that God has given up on humanity. "The first time he gave up, he sent the flood, this time he sent the angels." But one of the angels disagrees. Archangel Michael decides there is hope for humanity. So he and a small group of people end up fighting the zombied people that show up to kill a pregnant woman. The baby was Michael's assignment -- he was supposed to kill the baby, ends up protecting the mother until her child is born. Instead he ends up fighting with the angel Gabriel.

This film was quite dark with a motley mix of characters. There are moments of hope throughout, but the film was still quite dark.

We went to see 2012 two weeks ago. It is also about the end of days but with a different spin and different feel. John Cusack is the protagonist of this film. Essentially the western American coast is about to fall into the sea. While Legion is a sci-fi thriller, 2012 is more of an action flick. 2012 is based on the premise that Mayan prediction is true. The world will end in 2012. This film is about about is our priorities in life, even in times of crisis, what would we do? Would it be every man/woman for them selves? or would we have compassion and help our fellow travelers in the journey?

oddities

2010-01-23T22:52:00.002-08:00

So a nurse told me that a patient was saying that she may as well die because nothing seemed to be working. The patient stated to her that "the Pope also had Parkinson's disease and he prayed and it didn't do him any good." to which the nurse replied that "the pope hadn't been admitted to our hospital."

Some times, it is hard to think of what to do/say to some patients as the person is so set on what they think, that there is no point to try and persuade.

Then there are some people who have an interesting sense of logic. One patient told us that since his parents were Jehovah's Witness that he would feel guilty to take a blood transfusion. The patient did not idenify with any particular religious tradition. So it was interesting that he said this. So my staff asked me to go and talk to the man and give him "a dispensation" about this situation. (It didn't fly, in case you wondered, as he was set on his idea.)

It never ceases to amaze me about the odd items that come my way in this line of work.

Excerpt from book The Spiral Garden

2010-01-10T20:13:00.007-08:00

There is an old story about a holy man who sequestered himself in a remote mountain cave and spent his nights and days in solitude, praying, far away from humankind. Many years, he spent there, living on a meagre diet of nuts and berries, praying day and night to God. At last, worn out by time, or the privation of the body, or simply by the burden of his solitude, the hermit realizd that he was near death.">As he sat staring into the fire on what he knew to be his last night alive, God spoke to the holy man, not in whispers as would often happen in prayer, or as the man foraged for sustenance or scoured the mountaintop for firewood, but in a clear, audible voice. God said that he was pleased; that the man had fulfilled God’s wishes for him in this life, and, in return, God wished to give him a gift before he died. Whatever the man might ask for. The holy man immediately said, “Tell me the truth about this existence. Why we must struggle and be alone, even in a crowd or with those we love the most. Tell me why we might weep and why we must die.” So God told him the answer.Immediately, the man began to search for a way to record God’s words.He charred a stick in the fire and carefully began writing on large flat stones, line after line pouring forth from his memory and soul, until the night had passed and the sun had begun to rise.And at that moment, the holy man’s energy was spent.He was about to die.He looked at the stones upon which he had written the Truth of God, the greatest gift that humankind could receive.Then, with his last wanning ounce of strength, the hermit dragged the stones to the fire and pushed them in so that the heat of the coals erased the writings.What the hermit realized was that the Truth, once written down, would be read by people with different experiences and expectations, who brought to the words their own desires, ambitions and fears.Every one would understand the truth differently. The result would only bring dissension and pain. Someone once told me that Truth is like mercury.It takes a different shape according to its vessel.If we try to hold on to it, it slips through our fingers.And yet, who among us, if God offered us any gift, would not ask for that very thing? I think, in the end, I would rather have courage than uncertainty.
Prologue from The Spiral Garden by Anne Hines.
**********************************
I read this book a few years ago when I was still adapting to ministry. I loved it. I also read "the Passion of Reverend Nash" around the same time. I liked this book, Spiral Garden, because it was full of tidbits like what is written above and the tidbits can be a line.. such the following: But they are all packed with interesting points to ponder.

Abraham Joshua Heschel:
“We do not leave the shore of the known in search of adventure or suspense or because of the failure of reason to answer our questions. We sail, because our mind is like a fantastic sea shell, and when applying our ear to its lips we hear a perpetual murmur from the waves beyond the shore.”

p.200 My hero of the Celtic Church, Palagius, had an idea that, better than a priest, we all needed a "soul friend". Not someone who tells us how to make our journey, but someone who travels beside us, sharing our learning, sharing our fear. You and I have not exactly appeared to travel in step ... but we do give each other this -- we witness each other's journey.

This is probably one of the closer definitions/analogies for what pastoral/spiritual care is.

p 212 Religion is founded on the feeling of being uncomfortable. Discomfort is a gift. It's what compels us to search.There's not a person on the face of the earth, who hasn't wondered, at least for a moment "Why am I?" Not even "why am I here?" I think, but "Why am I?" That is what makes us search. Possibly it is even what makes us human. It is also what tells us there is a God, because we are born into this world knowing from our first heartbeat that there is something missing.
The question speaks to our aloneness. As if, knowing purpose, we could feel connection. I know that aloneness. I know that other too. It's what I've seen occur.. people finding an answer for themselves, by letting the truth to them in the language they can hear best.

Jung said that religion is a defense against a religious experience.

I don't know exactly what this quote means. In the context of the book, I do, but I think that this refers to the fact that some people hide behind the rituals of religion but don't really go deep into what the "religion" teaches. Religion for me, is different from faith. Faith is what you believe and how you live it out in your life. Religion is the label that people use to define what they believe. I will likely think about that one some more later.
************************

A rabbi, passing by a farmer’s field, heard a farmer singing as he worked. “Dearest God,” the man bellowed joyously, “if I could give you a radish, I’d give you the biggest radish in my garden.” The rabbi was shocked, and going over to the farmer, he admonished him, “that’s no way to address our King! Let me teach you a proper prayer so your words may be accepted by God’s ears.” So the rabbi taught the man a very formal and ancient prayer. The next week, the rabbi was passing the farmer’s field and saw the man was hard at work, but this time no sound escaped his lips.The same thing happened the next week, and the next. The farmer never sang again. Finally, the rabbi died. He arrived at the gates of heaven and was greeted by the sound of angels singing loudly, proclaiming their love and devotion to God. The angels sang, “Dearest God, if we could give you a radish, we’d give you the biggest radish in the garden.”

Praying for a Miracle... waht we want vs. what we need

2010-01-06T21:54:00.003-08:00

Every so often, in my work, I am asked by a patient to pray for them/with them. Some times, the requests bother me because they are asking for something that can't be done. I'm not saying that miracles don't happen. Miracles exist every day. It seems to me that most people associate "miracle" with unexplained physical healing. I have heard stories from the news, and from people that I know about the unexplained disappearance of physical illness or cancer cells, and things of this nature, but I have never seen it myself.

It bothers me with some people seem to have what can be deemed , by some to be, "unrealistic hope". I have been asked to pray that God will do a miracle and restore sight, allow paralyzed people to walk, asked if someone went to heaven. I have had conversations with people who want their diseased organs to be restored, or who believe that a transplant will allow every thing to go back to how life was before they were sick...
It is hard to know what to say to some of these things. Part of the dilemma is about my understanding of prayer and the request. When I am asked to pray for healing, I do. I may not pray explicitly as the person as indicated.

My understanding about prayer is this: you don't need to pray formally, as in a formula. Prayer is like having a conversation with a good friend. Someone who cares for us, who loves us, ... in more ways than we can fathom. The second part about my understanding of prayer comes from the Lord's Prayer, the "our Father who art in heaven.... thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven". Specifically, the phrase about "thy Will". People seem to put conditions on their requests. "if you do this, I'll never ask you for anything again.. " (until another crisis hits.) or the unspoken condition which is "if you really love me, you'll do this thing for me." As I often have to remind myself, that what we want is not the same as what we need. What we want is also not the same as what God wants, or wills, for us. This line from the prayer says that it is "God's will to be done on earth as in heaven." This can only be done when our will is in line with God's will for this world. He wants us to be happy and healthy. He wants us to use what he has given, like our brain, and think about what we are doing and why.

So this is where my dilemma comes from.. when we ask for what we want and think it is something that they need. I need a car for graduation. I need that toy. Need that designer outfit, need that shiny thing. Hubby and I went to the movie "The Princess and the Frog". This is a story that didn't go as one would think. Usually in a fairy tale, boy meets girl, falls in love, woos her and they live happily ever after. Typically, the princess kisses the frog, he turns back in to a prince, and they get married and live happily ever after. In this movie, the girl kissed the prince but turned into a frog instead of getting her human-formed prince. In one scene of the movie, they are seeking a magical potion to return to human form from a shaman who lives in the middle of the New Orleans bayou. The woman instead explains that there is a difference between what you need and what you want. "Dig deep down inside and discover what you need." She kept emphasizing that they were to think about what they need. In the end, the girl realized that she was ok with not being human and focused on what she needed from her life as it was. This was her key to happiness. (This is the only way I can say it without spoiling the plot.)

So back to praying for a miracle. I believe that a miracle is found even in simple events, the mystery of life, birth is a miracle! the advances in technology, the advances in research, the good that has been done for health, longevity of our population and how it has grown in the past century.... so I asked one of my colleagues about his opinion and insight for when asked to pray for a miracle. His answer was that there are 3 answers to prayer: 1. Yes. 2. No. 3. Not yet.
Who is to say that a miracle won't happen in this person's lifetime? It may be that the persons gets the new heart or lungs in heaven? or in the next 3 years? but in the meantime, for the next three years, what is the person's plan of action to function with the illness until the miracle happens.
I prefer this approach/answer to the "unrealistic hope" situation. Rather than telling the person that their faith that God will heal them is stupid or unfounded, there are ways to guide them to accept what is. It is a fine line between nurturing faith, finding meaning in this awful place where they find themselves, and conveying the message of the medical team.
One doctor mentioned this about a patient of mine. I met the patient at her last admission, which was a long one. She is hoping for recovery of her organs. The doctor said that they will never recover and that she needs to accept this so that she can move on. What do you say to a woman who has faith that has gotten through these awful months of hell that doesn't squash her belief in God's love for us, or her faith in people? or the person who believes that their transplant is like a cure for the illness....

I prefer to say well in the meantime, what will you do to function while you are waiting for the miracle to occur. That is a better approach. This can help to address the "need" vs. "want" issue as well.

Care of Soul

2009-12-28T19:05:00.002-08:00

I have been thinking about this blog and the original premise. It was/is a way for me to make sense out of my ministry as a healthcare chaplain. But I have given some thought to the terms "care of Soul" and what it means. Soul and Spirit, to some, are interchangable. The soul or Spirit of the individual is thought to the essence of who each person is. It is something intertwined with our personality, and is something more than just thoughts and feelings. Soul is about awareness. Philosophers have debated for millenia about what is reality and why we exist. Decartes talks about awareness of one's existence.
Care of Soul is about attending to the inner experience and being aware of Self. Often there are things about us, that bother us, that we try to ignore, things that we don't want to deal with or try to forget. I'm not saying that we need to dwell on something or pick it apart. (Therapy can be helpful but not that everything needs to become an issue.) Care of soul is about being aware of what is going on within us and noticing. "Oh, I got a little anxious when the driver did that." or "Oh, I was happy to hear that event occurred." It's more like a .. curiosity we'll say than a need to panic and examine everything inkling about life.

So at the dawn of a new decade, it is time to rethink and reassess life and its curiosities.

Vancouver Sun Article by Douglas Todd December 21, 2009

2009-12-21T21:24:00.002-08:00

The Fraser Health Authority's decision to terminate 12 spiritual care directors is a sign it is not operating at the highest levels of medical innovation.

To put it more bluntly, the sudden firing of the spiritual care coordinators is a strong indicator that the Fraser Health Authority's leadership is living in the Jurassic Age, when dinosaurs roamed.

Fraser Health's administrators appear painfully ignorant of contemporary scientific research into healing.

They don't seem to realize that, since 2001, more than 5,000 research studies have been published showing a strong correlation between patients' spirituality and their physical and mental well-being.

But Fraser Health does not appear to respect this university research into how spirituality and religion have been shown to, among other things, reduce patients' physical and mental disease rates and the time they spend in hospitals.

Instead, Fraser Health also has been slashing what it questionably calls other "non-core" services, including social workers/counsellors, addiction programs and psychiatry for troubled youths.

There is no doubt strong pressure on rising health care costs.

But those pressures have precious little to do with non-denominational spiritual care coordinators, who used to be known as chaplains.

The high price tag for medical care has mostly to do with the ever-rising expectations of the public and the escalating cost of technology -- equipment and diagnostic testing -- as well as drugs, not to mention the often high earnings of many physicians, medical specialists and administrators.

With Fraser Health running an annual budget of $2.48 billion, it appears short-sighted to chop 12 spiritual care directors trained in supporting people with all kinds of grave illnesses.

The $650,000 the spiritual caregivers collectively earn is less than 1/4,000th of the Fraser Health's $2.48 billion annual budget, which apparently has to be trimmed by $10 million due to provincial government shortfalls.

There has been an outcry about the November firings by an unusual coalition of religious and secular leaders, according to Christoph Reiners, pastor of Peace Lutheran Church in Abbotsford.

The loose coalition includes mainline Protestants, Catholics, evangelicals, Sikhs, Hindus, Muslims, New Democratic Party MLAs and regional mayors. But the coalition has been told by Fraser Health CEO Nigel Murray not to waste their breath.

Nevertheless, Murray and his advisers would do well to catch up on the extensive scientific research outlined in the seminal book, Spirituality in Patient Care, by Dr. Harold Koenig, a Duke University psychiatrist who has arguably done more than anyone to gather academic data on the positive benefits of integrating spirituality into clinical practice.

Spirituality in Patient Care, for instance, cites a major study in the New England Journal of Medicine showing that 90 per cent of medical patients report using religion and spirituality to cope with and make sense of physical illness. Forty per cent said it's the "most important" way they do so.

Additional studies, including at Duke Medical Center, have found that people who receive spiritual or religious support are less prone to disease, and spend fewer days in hospital on average than non-religious people with the same acute or chronic conditions.

Spirituality in Patient Care also points to dozens of studies showing North Americans who feel sustained by their religious convictions and communities are inclined to live longer and suffer less from depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies and addictions.

Despite this overwhelming data linking a vibrant spirituality with good health, Koenig is realistic enough to recognize spiritual care coordinators are not a panacea for all that ails patients.

Not every patient wants spiritual support, for instance. Sometimes, as Koenig says, religion can get in the way of healing, including patients who take an unhealthy fatalistic view that their disease is "God's will" or "Allah's will" and there's nothing they should try to do about it.

To be fair, Fraser Health is not the only unimaginative medical organization in North America cutting chaplains and others, such as social workers and counsellors, who often provide spiritual and emotional back-up to patients.

These behind-the-times medical organizations are flagrantly disregarding the recommendations of major mainstream North American-wide professional bodies, including those devoted to hospital accreditation, nursing and medical education.

All these major medical bodies, reports Spirituality in Patient Care, have gone on record urging hospitals to improve spiritual care for patients, both through the use of chaplains and by heightening the spiritual literacy of physicians, nurses and social workers.

The recent research linking spirituality with good patient care points to a win-win situation.

At a relatively low cost, the majority of patients who ask for spiritual support could receive the help they need to heal.

As well, Canadian taxpayers could in the long-run save money through reduced incidence of disease and shorter hospital stays.

dtodd@vancouversun.com

Read Douglas Todd's blog at www.vancouversun.com/thesearch

Cleaning my computer files again...

2009-12-15T12:27:00.001-08:00

Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
Yes?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
But -- you called ME!
Called you?
No, I didn't call you.
I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven.
There -- you did it again!
Did what?
Called ME.
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am....
What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it.
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good,
kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right.
Go on.
Okay, Hallowed be thy name .
Hold it right there.
What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"?
It means, it means . . good grief,
I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?
It means honored, holy, wonderful.
Hey, that makes sense..
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before.
Thanks.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess.

I just think it would be kind of neat if you got

control, of everything down here like you have up

there. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.
Yes, I know;
but, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church.
That isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend

your money -- all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read ?
Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest

of those People at church!

Excuse ME..
I thought you were praying
for my will to be done.
If that is to happen,
it will have to start with the ones
who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example ..
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now,
but I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.
Good.
Now we're getting somewhere.

We'll work together -- You and ME.
I'm proud of You.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
You need to cut out the bread..
You're overweight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
and all of a sudden you break in
and remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask for.
Remember, you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying. ( pause . . )
Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try ME.
Forgive us our sins,

as we forgive those who sin against us.
What about Ann?
See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me.
I've sworn to get even with her!
But -- your prayer --
What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it..
Well, at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that

bitterness and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for her.
She'll wish she had never been born.
No, you won't feel any better.
You'll feel worse.
Revenge isn't sweet.
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that.
You can? How?
Forgive Ann.
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem
as far as you are concerned.
Oh, you know, you're right.
You always are.
And more than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right, all right . .
I forgive her.
There now!
Wonderful!
How do you feel?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad.
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight.
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through with your prayer, are you?

Go on....
Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know.
Okay.
Go ahead... Finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever.
Amen.
Do you know what would bring me glory --
What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know.
I want to please you now..
I've really made a mess of things..
I want to truly follow you...
I can see now how great that would be.
So, tell me . . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU just did.

I did.......

Quote

2009-12-14T15:34:00.000-08:00

Quote from Plainviews commentator

Another resource I have found helpful, as recommended by a friend and colleague, is Mollenkott's
Omnigender (book). A seasoned chaplain at a staff chaplains' retreat yesterday stated (in relationship to a film clip and discussion about the movie Philadelphia) something like,“we as chaplains do not minister to a lifestyle but to the soul of the person, to the child of God that is created in the image of God.”

What's on my Ipod Parting Glass.. (From movie Waking Ned Devine)

2009-12-10T07:54:00.001-08:00

All the money that e'er I had
I spent it in good company
And all the harm I've ever done
Alas, It was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now, I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Goodnight and joy be to you all!

Fill to me the parting glass
And drink a health whate'er befalls
Then gently rise and softly call
Goodnight and joy be to you all!

Of all the comrades that e'er I had
They're sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had
They'd wish me one more day to stay.
Since it fell into my lot
that I should rise, and you should not
I'll gently rise and softly call
Goodnight and joy be to you all!

But since it fell into my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and softly call
Goodnight and joy be to you all!

So fill to me the parting glass
And drink a health whate'er befalls
Then gently rise and softly call
Goodnight and joy be to you all!

My first wedding

2009-12-03T17:32:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will officiate at my first wedding! A patient has requested to get married. I met him today and have spoken to the bride on the phone. So today I had to learn what the process is for me to officiate. I thought that I had a registry book but apparently I didn't apply for one from Vital Statistics yet, so I've had to phone a colleague to borrow theirs. Luckily, it is in the evening so I have time to get the book.

What a way to end a weird week.

Photos from Tibetan Art

2009-12-03T17:30:00.003-08:00

Courtesy of my colleague (ripped off of Facebook)

Tibetan Sacred Art Tour

2009-12-02T17:49:00.003-08:00

Today, my colleagues and I went to a local church for the Tibetan Sacred Art Tour 2009 where we watched monks creating a sand mandala. I have never actually watched the process before but have seen photos. I didn't realize that they use metal funnels to place the sand. They have to be very precise in the design despite having a template. All the while, the monks were praying. Interesting process.

Article of Interest... Three Clergymen, Three Faiths, One Friendship

2009-11-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

Fighting for the Importance of Spiritual Health

2009-11-24T07:59:00.000-08:00

Book recommendation

2009-11-17T23:00:00.004-08:00

Earlier this month, a colleague asked me for book recommendations to help move her spiritually. I thought about it and scoured my Goodreads listings, and thought about it some more. I asked how does she think she wants to be moved? Is she feeling dry? wanting to learn some specific area, what have you? Her response was "if you were my CPE supervisor, what you recommend for me to grow spiritually? and in my job?"

So I gave it some more thought and have come up with some books that I think are good for various reasons. I realize that some times you are enthralled with a book or show or saying because it spoke to you at a certain time for a certain situation, but when you review/re-read the book, it doesn't speak to you in the same way. The "WOW" factor is gone. But that doesn't mean that you don't get something out of the same thing.

I have been purging the house. (or trying to for the past few months, and got sidetracked by oh, a job, cooking food, going to Italy for a dream vacation, and refusing to have visitors in as it is piling up in the first floor, and now we are preparing for renos of my kitchen... let's not go there.) Anyhow, I have resumed the purging trying to do one project or room a day. Today, it was the bookcase in my bed room. I haven't counted the list, but I would say there are at least..... 50 to 70. Most are theology textbooks that I have not looked at since... graduating. In some cases, they are from theology degree #1 -- some 10 years ago. So I KNOW the rule.. if you haven't used it in 6 months... toss it!! Books are different, you do tend to reread or have sentimental attachment. Anyhow, books are going. The lists are posted on Facebook and what isn't taken by friends, will be posted on Craigslist or Freecycle, the rest will go to the book table at my church.

So the book that I had recommended to my colleague was The Passion of Reverend Nash. But that is not the one that I meant as I think I read these 2 books close in time and the plot is similar and I messed them up. I found this book at Chapters for $2. So I figured 2 bucks is 2 bucks. But it was a good 2 bucks.

Anyhow, the other book is by Anne Hines called The Spiral Garden. This is a book about a female minister who takes over a failing parish and the book is introduced this way... Moses never saw the Promised Land. King David didn't get to build the Temple. Jesus preached an unpopular message and died on the cross. Reverend Ruth Broggan thinks God has something to answer for. Unsatisfied with traditional teachings, Broggan takes a radical approach to finding the meaning of life.

(unfortunately there is no comprehensive review by others, other than this blip that seems to be on most websites but is not a reader's comment.)

So Ruth ends up in a new parish and things are going along with her ministry. She is figuring this congregation and their issues out, plus her life is a bit a of mess. (face it, ministers are humans too, we are all ministers, but yes those of us CALLED are expected to perform to a higher standard... I won't go in to that here.) Anyhow, she gets fed up with stuff and decides that she will shut her self up in the manse (her house provided by the parish/congregation) and refuse to come out until she is satisified with the answer from God about all the mess that is going on in the world. This is triggered by her involvement with a congregant's crisis that did not end well and hence Ruth felt she could have handled it better.

There well, hopefully I did not spoil the book for you. It is a good read and I hope to review it once I finish my current novel.

In purging, I have discovered a multitude of books that I bought or "found" (got for free ... from someone or somewhere) that for one reason or other I have yet to read. Either the mood struck me, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, or I haven't been in the mood wasn't right, or they were dull.. there are some novels that I have TRIED to read numerous times, but can't because they are dry or ... something. Reading Lolita in Tehran is one of these books, In the Middle of a Life is another such novel.... ugh. So the first, I will try again, but the second... has been put in the get rid of pile as I have had it longer than Lolita. (Also, I now remember that I had 2 copies, both free, but didn't realize that this was the case.) Another reason for the "unread" books, good intentions, what have you, is that there are SOOO many books and I have so little shelf room that in some cases the books have been stacked 3 rows deep that I haven't seen them. The shelves have been organized though. Previously I had organized them by in 2 categories, READ and TO READ. When they are read, they get moved to the left side of the book case. Further categories are novels, fuffy novels, psych books, philosophy, theology books (texts left over, but NOT so many now* singsong voice*), Fun books like my Peanuts collection, biographies, work related books with further categories of text like, or fluffy. And then the novels and books that have a spiritual theme. There are alot of these as well, due to my unconscious gravitation towards these types of books.

Some of these categories can fool you though. The definition of "spirituality" type book can be blatant like C.S. Lewis, Henri Nouwen, ... or they have under currents, subtle like the writing of Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper and the current read, The Tenth Circle.

Ok, it is 11: 30 and I have updated and rambled a lot on all of my blogs. It is time for bed. But hopefully this makes up for a "dry spell' of writing that has plagued me for the past while.

Ethics as presented on TV and the realism of such dilemma

2009-11-16T11:06:00.005-08:00

Last night, I decided to watch a new show just to see what it was about. Due to the nature of my work, in the hospital, I prefer not to watch dramas related to hospitals, like ER, Scrubs, Grey's Anatonomy. I tuned in when I saw that it was Mandy Patinkin in a guest starring role. He was FABULOUS!! The premise of the episode entitled "the Luckiest Man" is that Mandy's character, Victor, has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) and after a car accident, ends up in hospital on life support. His daughter is not ready to face his death while he chooses to end his life by being an organ donor. After meeting various patients, such as the video clip he decides that he wants to give his organs to other people.

The crux of the episode is about quality of life. In the end, when we are seriously ill and lucky to have time to contemplate our lives, will we be content with what we have accomplished and will we be able to say what is a "good death". As Victor put it, "I would rather go with what dignity I have left." Ironically, it is also the annual donor reunion party that day. The daughter is taken to see the party by the doctor in charge of Victor's case. The doctor actually struggled with Victor's choice because he say it as suicide versus a "good death". After a change of heart, he has a heart to heart with the daughter who explains why she is reluctant to let her father go. The episode ends with Victor being wheeled down the hall to surgery where they will disconnect the life support and remove organs. The hall is lined with family members of recipients thanking Victor for the renewed chance of life with their loved one.

I realize that organ donation is not an easy subject nor is death. I also realize that the episode is shot from the American perspective, which is has different issues or regulations than Canadian systems.

***********
I cried my eyes out especially at the end as it is touching to see this actually shown to the public. (And did I say that Mandy was fabulous!!) It is a reality that a lot of people are not ready to face. When is it time to go? and what constitutes a good death? Definitions will vary depending on what role you play. Luckily at my facility, the issues of quality of life, dignity are considered in such cases. We check with patients often to ensure that this is the right choice for them and not just what the medical team thinks it should be, and also to ensure that it is not just a "bad day" that they just want over. Because over is over. No regrets are possible afterward once the deed of death is done.

One approach to rudeness....

2009-11-04T17:33:00.003-08:00

I opened my copy of Psychology Today earlier this afternoon and got a kick out of this article. If I hadn't been on a crowded train heading home, I would have laughed out loud at some things, and said "way to go" at others.

Two-Minute Memoir: I See Rude People

One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society.
By Amy Alkon, published on November 01, 2009 - last reviewed on November 04, 2009

The fortysomething woman came within inches of crashing her Volvo station wagon into my car while simultaneously trying to park with one hand and yammer into the cell phone she was holding in the other. When I beeped to keep her from swerving into me, she vigorously and repeatedly flipped me the bird (I guess to punish me for existing, and directly behind her to boot). For her grand finale, she exited her car in workout gear, toting a yoga mat, and snarled back at me, "Just off to find a little inner peace, you redheaded bitch!"

Uh, have a nice day!

An aggressive lack of consideration for others is spreading across this country like a case of crabs through a sleepaway camp, and there isn't a lot standing in the way. Although people are quick to blame rampant rudeness on advances in technology, the unfortunate truth is, rudeness is the human condition. We modern humans are a bunch of grabby, self-involved jerks, the same as generations of humans before us. It's just that there are fewer constraints on our grabby, self-involved jerkhood than ever before. We're guided by quaint Stone Age brains, suited to manage social interactions within a small tribe—yet we're living in endlessly sprawling areas that would more accurately be called "stranger-hoods" than neighborhoods.
People understand how they're supposed to act because of social norms. But every time brutes engage in some form of social thuggery, they make it that much more acceptable for somebody else to do it. Others begin to imitate their behavior unthinkingly, or feel stupid or silly for feeling some compunction about following their lead.

For most of my life, I didn't pay much attention to rudeness. And then, one day, I just couldn't take it anymore. Overnight, I was like that "I see dead people" kid, except it was "I see rude people." They were everywhere: pushing, shoving, shouting into cell phones; leaving snotted-up Kleenex in the airplane seat pocket for the next passenger. Like Peter Parker, bitten by a radioactive spider and turned into Spiderman, I was transformed.
Intervention I: The Mobile Savage

A woman in the Hollywood Hills Starbucks decided to treat all the other customers there to a command performance of her impromptu spoken-word masterwork, "The Birthday Party Invitation." She made five very loud calls—each the same as the last—giving her name (Carol), detailed directions to a kid's birthday party at her house, plus the time, plus her home phone number. I left this message on her voice mail when I got home:

Carol, Carol, Carol...the microphone on a cell phone is actually quite sensitive. There's no need to yell. You look like a nice woman. You probably didn't realize that your repeated shouting into your cell phone drove a number of people out of the coffee bar today. Beyond that, you might consider that I'm just one of about 20 people who know that you live at "555 Ferngrove Street," and that you're having a bunch of six-year-olds over at 3 p.m. on Saturday. Now, I'm just a newspaper columnist, not a pedophile, but it's kind of an unnecessary security risk you're taking, huh? Bye!
Intervention II: It's Only Free for Telemarketers to Call You Because You Have Yet to Invoice Them

Even casual acquaintances know better than to dial my number on Monday or Tuesday, when I'm on deadline for my advice column, so the shrill ring of my phone late one Monday afternoon came as a surprise.

"Hello...? Hello...? HELLO?"

Was anybody even there? Not exactly. It took a couple of seconds for the recording to start: "Hello, this is Tim Snee, vice president of Smart & Final..."

Oh, is it? Great. Because if you're phoning me at home in the middle of my deadline, there's an appropriate next line to your call, and it goes something like "...and someone's died and left you a townhouse in the center of Paris."

But that wasn't Mr. Snee's message at all. Snee, I learned, was having some difficulty keeping shelves stocked at the warehouse store Smart & Final. He wanted to let his customers know they were working to solve the problem—lest anybody defect to Costco for their 100-packs of Charmin.

Yoohoo...Mr. Snee? You autodialed the wrong girl.

Now, I know most people just sigh and hang up when they get a call like Snee's—which is why we all get calls like Snee's. My time and energy are valuable, and he'd just helped himself to both. I drafted a letter spelling out my disgust for Snee's business practices and invoicing him for $63.20, and I e-mailed it to him:

Tim,

How dare you call me at home with a recorded message? I am on the Do Not Call list, and I value my privacy. You woke me up in the middle of my nap during my deadline. Consider this an invoice for disturbing me: $63.20, which is my hourly rate for writing, since I'll probably lose at least an hour thanks to your interruption. I'll now try to go back to sleep so I can get my writing done.

I'm considering reporting you to the California Attorney General. Have a bad day.

—Amy Alkon

A few days later, I got this e-mail from Randall Oliver, Smart & Final's "director of corporate communications":

Ms. Alkon:

I am very sorry that we disturbed you close to your writing deadline. Our message was meant to provide a helpful update to our customers, not to irritate them. Nearly all of the responses we have received have been very positive.

Really? Did other customers call you up and say, "I'm so lonely, nothing makes my day like getting a recorded message smack in the middle of my afternoon nap!"?

And finally, Oliver wrote:

We value you as a customer and hope to continue to do business with you. We'd be happy to send you a check for $63.20 as requested or alternatively would be even happier to provide you a $100 Smart Card for use at Smart & Final. Please let me know which option you would prefer.

I took the $100.

As wacky as my pranks may sound to some, behind every one is the message that it isn't crazy to expect people to have manners and consideration; it's crazy when we're seen as crazy for expecting it. If we're increasingly finding ourselves residents of Meanland, it's only because we aren't doing anything to change that. We get the society we create; or rather, the society we let happen to us. I'm hoping my book, I See Rude People, will galvanize at least a few people into performing their own interventions on the rude. But if we all just make an effort to treat strangers like they matter, maybe they'll be inspired to treat us like we matter, and maybe, just maybe, life won't feel quite so much like one long wrestling smackdown.

Excerpted from I See Rude People: One Woman's Battle to Beat Some Manners into Impolite Society by Amy Alkon (Nov. 27, 2009, McGraw-Hill)

Poem for the day

2009-10-19T16:54:00.005-07:00

I have been reading Mitch Albom's new book, Have a Little Faith.
I won't go into it too much hear, suffice to say read it. It certainly has tidbits to chew on, to think on.

There is a poem quoted from Robert Browning Hamilton, that speaks volumes

I Walked a Mile with Pleasure

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When sorrow walked with me.

-Robert Browning Hamilton

2009-10-17T18:11:00.001-07:00

Watch Diwali:India's Festival of Lights in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

2009-10-07T08:00:00.002-07:00

After a decade, Whitney Houston has returned from a roller coaster marriage and spoke on Oprah's show about her addiction and return to public life since the end of her marriage to Bobby Brown. I have waited for the return of this powerful voice with much hope and prayer for this woman. This is a clip from another talk show, but the video link is here. On the show, Whitney said that this song, written by R. Kelly, for Whitney is about her "higher power" (God) and likely her mother and daughter whom she described as her support.

As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a call
After giving it my all

Winter storms has come
And darken my sun
After all
That we've been through
Who on Earth
Can I turn to

I look to you
I look to you

After all
My strength is gone
In you I can move on

I look to you
I look to you

And when melodies
Are gone
In you
I hear a song

I look to you

Poem

2009-10-06T18:25:00.002-07:00

When there is no time to say goodbye….

Shock and wonder.

Disbelief.

Sorrow.

These are the emotions felt.

Memories of the last words.

Were they kind?

Did I miss a sign? Micro fraction? Flicker?

Was there any inkling that this was coming?

Death has come like a thief in the night.

We fall asleep

Or blink …

And it has creeped in.

Taking from us our chance to say goodbye.

Wondering about the last minutes of life

The last breath. alone.

When there is no time to say goodbye…

There is only a hole in a heart.

October 6, 2009

This poem was written by me. A patient died unexpectedly at their home. I had known him for a number of years, but I always wonder that no matter how long you have a relationship with a person, can you really say that you knew that person well? Social psychologists talk about the masks that we wear. We put on different masks depending on the setting that we are in. We are one way with our family, work place, friends, in store, on the bus. We show different aspects but no one really has the full picture of who we are.

Regardless of how long I know someone, I also wonder what I can do to "know" that person better. I wonder if anyone achieves this in a lifetime.

Scenes from Another World

2009-10-03T16:37:00.003-07:00

I went on vacation to Italy and other countries this past month. We went to a lot of historical sites and archeological museums. One of the interesting aspects is not just the amazing detail of the sculptures and artwork, but rather the fact that they are really really old. And it is awe inspiring that I am able to see and touch something from another life time.

November 7, 2009 event

2009-09-11T10:27:00.002-07:00

This looks neat. I think that it is good to be open to new events and experiences.

Part 2 of article

2009-09-05T15:40:00.003-07:00

This is the second part of an article from the Vancouver Sun, talking about the 'war' between spirituality and religion. The author purports that spirituality is a personal thing while religion relates to the corporate nature of spiritual practice.

While it is difficult to find a balance between the personal and the corporate, Todd puts forth that a "good" religion is one that allows for growth and movements within the personal/corporate sphere. Humanity is constantly changing and growing and hence religion as one main structure of the human expression of Self needs to be able to change and grow with people. I wonder at the persons who do identify themselves as "not religious, but spiritual". Often when this statement is made to me, it is a defense mechanism usually meaning "don't shove your beliefs and judgments on me. That is the last thing that I need." I have always thought that those persons who have an aversion to "organized religion" are reacted to either a bad experience, misconceptions, or both. Often people attend worship services, but aren't educated about the practices that follow. It is not like someone says " we will now sing this song, or pray this prayer for reason 'X', " but rather, after someone has attended for a while, it is understood," this is just how we do this". However, along with the need for structure, it should not be so rigid that it staganates growth of the worshipper, but it should also not be so flexible that there is an "anything goes" thinking. This is the difficulty of defining worship and spiritual practices -- they do change as our understanding changes. But one must consider "what am I doing this for? or who? " and "does this practice help me to grow and challenge my understanding of the world?" If the answer is "I don't know" to the first questions, and "no" to the second... then maybe we need to think about why something isn't working for us or others and to discuss this with someone we trust.

SECOND OF TWO PARTS

Which is better: Religion or spirituality? Many people, especially on the West Coast of North America, now firmly believe that it's much better to be "spiritual" rather than "religious."

Before offering my answer to the question, however, it's crucial to explain the common definitions going round today of "religion" and "spirituality," plus a few of the widespread complaints against both.

Some of the many, many people today who stress "I'm spiritual, but not religious" feel strongly about defining religion as an absolutistic and dogmatic belief system locked up in an institution.

Their condemnation has some validity, even though they're not correct in portraying ALL religion as doctrinaire.

There can be no doubt that institutional religion frequently regresses to blind obedience and self-righteousness.

That's the assertion, for instance, of Vancouver's world-famous spiritual writer, Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now. The people who champion "spirituality" generally use the term to refer to the private and free development of a person's private inner life.

Tolle, for instance, is typical of many in the way he describes spirituality as personal "transformation" to an "awakened" state, detached from one's ego and even from "belief" itself .

The main charges against Tolle's popular form of self-spirituality are that it can become privatistic, leading to self-absorption, narcissism, naivety, anti-intellectualism and an anything-goes moral relativism. Critics say those who follow private spirituality are often unwilling to engage wider society and, in failing to do so, support the social status quo.

Just as there is something to the prevailing attack on "religion," there is also some truth to this critique of "spirituality."

But the mutual bombardments do not at all comprise the whole story of "spirituality" and "religion."

There are more comprehensive ways of looking at both, which will expand the debate far beyond a simplistic argument that one is good and the other is bad.

There are many valid definitions of "spirituality," a term that has only become hot in the past decade.

But I think one of the best and broadest definitions of "spirituality" is that it is "the ways humans have sought to find meaning in the world." However, I have to immediately add that I join the renowned American sociologist of religion, Robert Bellah, in suggesting that religion, at its deepest level, is about the same process -- forming human meaning.

In today's religion-wary culture, many won't like this overlapping definition of "spirituality" and "religion." But if you accept it, you would have to conclude that, at least in their ideal form, both can be beneficial.

There is another link between the two terms. Even though "spirituality" is now used to refer exclusively to a human's inner life, many private spiritualities, if they prove persuasive to enough people, eventually develop into more structured communal worldviews.

That is what happened with the experiences and teachings of Moses, Buddha, Socrates, Jesus, Mohammed and Baha'u'llah.

It's also what is happening with some best-selling contemporary spiritual teachers, as their thinking becomes more formalized through study groups and inter-connected communities.

In other words, it appears that the thing Western society is really debating these days is the difference in value between private spirituality and community-based spirituality, which is also sometimes known as institutional religion.

Contrary to what many people like to believe, I am not convinced personal spirituality and communal religion are mutually exclusive. They are complementary.

And both need to be approached in a self-critical way.

Any institutional religion that is habitually dogmatic and that fails to nurture a sense of personal spirituality, of personal choice and transformation, is empty.

And any personal spirituality that remains merely private, that doesn't make an effort to directly connect with others, with the real world, with community life, is trivial.

So where does that leave us with the question: Which is better: Spirituality or religion?

The short answer is they are both important.

However, I will go out on an unpopular limb for the longer answer.

I would suggest that institutional religion - when it is truly self-correcting, non-authoritarian and encouraging of authenticity (which it often, admittedly, is not) -- is more complete than private spirituality.

Let me briefly make my case for the value of religion in institutional form:

Institutional religion, at its best, can be open, evolving and self- reforming -- even while attempting to define and remain true to core values, beliefs and practices.

A religious institution can incorporate a multitude of personal spiritual practices, including the self-spirituality and nature spirituality that are popular today.

Religious institutions, ideally, create a sense of community, which often contribute to the well-being of individuals.

Religious institutions can offer checks and balances on private belief and practice. They can help isolated individuals avoid going off on unhealthy, wrong-headed or dangerous spiritual tangents.

As a community, a religion can accomplish things that isolated individuals cannot. Institutions can plan and strategize, creating force fields for positive transition, both within individuals and in the wider society.

Ultimately, I like the way that Washington state scholar Patricia O'Connell Killen talks about the value of religions, which she also calls "wisdom traditions."

Unlike private spiritualities, community-based religions can, at their optimum, help people realize they're not the centre of the universe, Killen says. They can also, through their collected knowledge, historical perspective and shared values, be invaluable in helping people face life's inevitable suffering. In doing so, they can renew personal and public hope.

In the end, I don't believe we need to buy into the current nasty war between (personal) spirituality and (community-based) religion.

After all, that creates a false either/or choice.

What we can do instead is foster more interaction between spirituality and religion, since they are simply different aspects of the same thing: Humans' eternal search for meaning.

Quote -- cleaning files from my desk

2009-09-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

Learning a language
is learning what people are really saying.
The non-verbal as well as the verbal language...
You must go deeper...
And discover what it means
To listen deeply to another...
In order to understand people in both their pain and in their grief, to
Understand what they are really asking so you can hold their wound,
Their pain and that flows from it...
You must go deeper and discover what it means to see another-
To see the light shining in the darkness..
To give hope and trust.

Jean Vanier-the Broken Body

Column from Vancouver Sun

2009-09-01T13:59:00.000-07:00

Has 'religion' outlived its usefulness?

Despite the arguments that spirituality is somehow better, both seek to bring people together

Douglas Todd

Vancouver Sun

Saturday, August 29, 2009

CREDIT: Steve Bosch, Vancouver Sun, Files

Eckhart Tolle is a New Age teacher who blends elements of Buddhism and Hinduism into his philosophy.

'Many people are already aware of the difference between spirituality and religion. They realize that having a belief system -- a set of thoughts that you regard as the absolute truth -- does not make you spiritual no matter what the nature of those beliefs is."

That's the influential opinion of one of the world's most famous living spiritual teachers. Vancouver-based Eckhart Tolle, promoted by Oprah Winfrey, has sold millions of copies of his books, including The Power of Now.

His repeated message is "religion" is bad (oppressive) and "spirituality" is good (liberating).

As Tolle writes in his latest mega-seller, A New Earth: Awakening to Life's Purpose, religious people are convinced "unless you believe exactly as they do, you are wrong in their eyes, and in the not-too-distant past, they would have felt justified in killing you for that. And some still do, even now."

Tolle is promoting what is fast becoming conventional wisdom in the western world: "Religion" is institutional, almost always authoritarian. "Religion" is equated with the Crusades, terrorism and judgmental U.S. televangelists.

"Religion," in the mind of Tolle and those who read his books in more than 30 languages, is rigid and divisive and absolutistic.

This same anti-religion message is being advanced by spiritual authors such as Neale Donald Walsch, author of the best-selling Conversations with God, and a host of other New Age teachers. To them "religion" is "fundamentalism."

In contrast, Tolle prefers the term "spiritual," which he describes as "the transformation of consciousness" -- to a state of "awakening."

In line with Tolle, many people in Canada, perhaps even most, now find it necessary to tell anyone who cares to listen: "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual."

The conviction that "religion" is essentially evil is now so pervasive in our culture that I am having even observant evangelical Christians, Jews and Muslims also tell me: "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual."

How did western society get to this point, where religion has become a dirty word?

Much of it has to do with shifting definitions.

What, after all, is "spiritual?"

What is "religious?"

Unless these important words are defined, people can spend a lot of time going round in conversational circles.

Let's start with "religion."

The Oxford Dictionary defines "religion" as "the belief in and worship of a superhuman power, esp. a personal God or gods." Oxford adds that religion is "a particular system of faith and worship." Most interesting is that the Latin root of "religion" is "to bind together."

Even though I quibble with this Oxford definition of religion, I accept it's relatively straightforward compared to the ever-evolving meanings of the amazingly popular and vague word, "spiritual."

American philosopher Ken Wilber is highly aware of the problems that occur when people don't nail down what they mean by "spiritual." He cites several usages.

One common understanding of "spiritual" is that it's a state of consciousness, such as those achieved through meditation, he says. Another definition of "spiritual" refers to embodying an attitude, such as love or wisdom.

A third use of "spiritual" restricts it to higher states of consciousness or maturity. I'll add a fourth definition of "spiritual" -- how a person finds ultimate meaning.

Although it's hard to tell with Tolle, since he's not overly systematic, he seems to basically define "spiritual" in line with Wilber's first definition -- as a state of mind, as the state of being detached from one's ego.

Mark Shibley, of Southern Oregon University, suggests there are two major types of alternative spiritualities (as distinct from organized religions) operating in North America, which often overlap.

The first type most fits Tolle and Walsch. Shibley calls what they promote "self-spirituality."

They focus on the self as sacred. Tolle and Walsch, both of whom live in the Pacific Northwest, or Cascadia, where self-spirituality is commonplace, emphasize private psychological practice over doctrine.

The second major spiritual group adheres to Earth reverence. They stress that nature is divine. They tend to have mystical moments not in churches or temples, but in the wilderness.

Now that we've fleshed out the terms, religious and spiritual, let's get down to the big question.

Which is better?

Spiritual or religious?

If you define "religion" as Tolle and Walsch do -- as rigidly institutional, fundamentalist and self-righteous -- you would have to opt for "spiritual." After all, personal "transformation" seems more authentic than this harsh, top-down religion.

But if you keep in mind the dictionary definition of "religion" -- that it's a "system of faith" that may serve to "bind together" humans with each other, the world and a transcendent reality -- the rivalry between the two becomes not so clear-cut.

Is it not possible to be "spiritual," to practise inner transformation, at the same time one is "religious," that is, working to bond with a higher power and wider community through shared beliefs?

The great sociologist, Robert Bellah, in a recent article in the Buddhist magazine, Tricycle, writes that making a sharp distinction between religion and spirituality creates a false dichotomy. And that's what Tolle does.

The author of ground-breaking books, such as Habits of the Heart, helpfully broadens the definition of religion to, "the many ways humans have sought to find meaning, to make sense of their lives."

I find Bellah's definition better than even the one supplied by the Oxford Dictionary, since it can include religions that posit no God or gods, such as forms of Buddhism.

It's also close to the definition I tend to use most for "spiritual." And, in many ways, the definitions are interchangeable.

Bellah also persuasively maintains that trying to rid the world of religion -- since it's often corrupted -- would be absurd.

It would be like saying, "Let's get rid of the economy," because it often does harmful things.

"Religion meets a human need, and if you get rid of it in one form, it will come back in another," Bellah says.

That, indeed, is what is happening with contemporary "spirituality."

Even though Tolle's promoters always stress that he is "not aligned with any particular religion or tradition," his teachings are dependent on ideas that have emerged over the millennia from Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity and western philosophy.

And try as Tolle and many others might to emphasize that "spirituality" is only an inner, private experience, the hundreds of spiritual groups that are forming around Tolle's work, at his encouragement, are developing their own shared beliefs, thoughts, practices, orthodoxies and sense of community.

Just like a religion.

- - -

Read Douglas Todd's blog at www.vancouversun.com/

thesearch

Next week: What it takes for "religion" and "spirituality" to be healthy.

What do you do when you know your patient is going to die?

2009-08-20T14:42:00.003-07:00

What do you do when you know your patient is going to die?

What do you feel inside?

Death is a hard thing for us to face. In the field of healthcare and spiritual care, death is a prominent player. While part of our work is to provide support and comfort for patients, family and staff involved in a death, it doesn’t seem to get easier. And when you have spent years investing your care and energy into the life’s story of a person, it is not easy to walk away unscathed.

I did not plan to get into this line of work. I did not aspire to be a “midwife for the dying”. I started my ministry career at the age of 23. I love stories. I am fascinated by books and movies. That is why I do this work. I get to hear stories from my patients and to be a part of their story. I am sure that others in this field will agree that some stories are hard to hear, while others are hard to watch. So after meeting the person and journeying with them, it is hard to not be untouched by their life. It is often said at funerals that whether we knew the deceased well, or whether we knew the deceased in passing, the fact that they are gone from this earth will have an impact on us. What that is I do not know. I think that some deaths are harder to deal with than others, for the attachments that come from the relationships. While we maintain the professionalism and boundaries, I think that there are some lives and deaths that impact us more than others. So when you have invested time and energy, and the story has taken its hold, how do you feel when you know that your patient is going to die? What do you do?

**********************************************

I have given this some more thought. The question of "what do you do/feel when you know that your patient is going to die?" A lot of people find it interesting that I refer to them as "MY" patients and commented on this. I realize that I am not a doctor nor am I the primary caregiver who influences the success of their treatment, but considering the area of expertise and the time that I have invested in the relationship, I will think of the individual as "my patient". So hence I suppose that the attachment that one feels to the person who is dying is of consideration in the matter what one thinks or feels when you know that they are dying.

The relationship of caregiving is very intimate. In pastoral/spiritual care, people will bear their souls to another who is virtually a stranger. Hence the depth of the relationship and the content can have influence to the emotions of the care provider when the patient's condition deteriorates. I have had various patients that I have known for numerous years. It is a different reaction for one to die versus another, and I think that it is dependent on the type of relationship that has been cultivated and whether or not the death was anticipated.

So I pose the question to my fellow chaplains/spiritual care providers, what is your reaction when YOUR patient dies? What do you do? What do you feel?

2009-08-12T21:01:00.003-07:00

What if you were a character in a book? What if you knew that your life was being narrated by someone else? Would you do something different ? would you try to find that narrator to ask the theme of the plot? or would you go on in hopes of a life well-lived?

But in a way, isn't our life like this? If you think about it, our lives are being narrated, perhaps in our head, or by others as they observe our actions. So what does your "story" tell others? is it a romance, tragedy, action, comedy or adventure story? I suppose in the end, we want to think that the story told by our lives teaches others by our examples, of a life well-lived.
Thoughts?

Thunderstorm...

2009-08-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Chaplaincy article

2009-07-31T15:44:00.004-07:00

Paging God: Religion in the Halls of Medicine’

Chaplains play important roles in hospitals

By Sarah Sweeney

Harvard News Office

What happens when a Buddhist monk visiting the United States is hospitalized, terminally ill with liver cancer? Does religion interfere with his medical care? What about his Buddhist brethren, unable to join him bedside? Who will provide the appropriate services and ceremonies? Well, says Wendy Cadge, that’s where hospital chaplains come in.

Chaplains are just one of the ways in which hospitals and religion cross-pollinate — but, says sociologist Cadge, a current fellow at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study, this cross-pollination can sometimes be a tricky business.

“Does religion and spirituality influence your health?” asked Cadge. “I don’t think this is an unimportant question. … Social institutions — temples, churches, mosques — … are often involved in the answer to this question in ways that are rarely studied or talked about.”

Cadge visited the ailing monk in a Catholic hospital in Pennsylvania. “He was going to die — not in a temple … but in this local hospital,” she recollected. “I wondered if he was awake how he would feel about being treated in a Catholic hospital. I wondered if the hospital had a priest or a chaplain, if that person might come by.”

Cadge explained that at most hospitals, the question of religion is a blank box on admissions paperwork. When she asked a hospital clerk why the information was relevant, he responded, “I don’t know. I guess it’s in case you die.”

The lasting image of the dying monk in his hospital bed in Pennsylvania left Cadge with an arsenal of questions. How do religion and spirituality interact with medicine?

Through research at major, non-religious-affiliated hospitals across the country, Cadge explored this question by shadowing hospital chaplains, analyzing the roles they play and how they affect the religious and spiritual goings-on inside hospitals.

In a talk inside the Radcliffe Gymnasium, titled “Paging God: Religion in the Halls of Medicine,” Cadge said most people think of chaplains as the people wandering the halls of hospitals, making bedside calls. But Cadge explained that chaplains have many perspectives on the work they perform and define their responsibilities in a multitude of ways. Chaplains are involved in almost all aspects of hospital life, said Cadge. In their most basic definition, these chaplains visit with ill patients; but their role in hospitals is, in fact, complex and much-debated.

The treatment of the sick and dying in hospitals raises profound religious and spiritual issues. In their not-quite-formal, not-quite-defined roles, chaplains address these questions. They are intermediaries for patients and families; guides who help navigate through emotional and complicated end-of-life issues. Yet, in an article for the Web site Religion Dispatches (www.religiondispatches.org), Cadge says that chaplains “have little voice when it comes to public conversations about religion and medicine in this country.”

A reason for this, Cadge surmised, is that there are relatively few chaplains in the United States — roughly 10,000. And, in general, chaplains lack medical training, and, as Cadge points out in the article, “Many of the country’s leading voices around religion, spirituality, health, and medicine are physicians.”

Even as atheism continues to rise in the United States, Gallup polls consistently show 95 percent of Americans still believe in a higher power; 70-85 percent of Americans pray for their own health and their family’s; and 72 percent believe God can cure people outside of medical science. What’s more, 60 percent of Americans and 20 percent of medical professionals think a person in a persistent vegetative state can be saved by a miracle.

So, it’s not surprising, perhaps, that in Cadge’s hospital research, which took her to intensive care and neonatal units, she found that it was common among non-chaplain staff to privately pray for their patients, regardless of their patients’ religious beliefs or whether or not they had solicited religious help.

Differences in religious viewpoints is an important issue for Cadge, who wanted to know how chaplains adapt to patients with different religions, and how patients with various religions and beliefs perceive chaplains.

Most of the chaplains Cadge observed would serve patients regardless of their denomination, and if patients or families requested a religious-specific prayer or ritual, the chaplain would oblige. Other times, chaplains simply sat in with patients, a person to talk to. Cadge recalled chaplains who collected prayers from families. Most were written on Post-It notes left tacked to makeshift memorials created by families to honor their loved ones who had died in the hospital. The chaplains put them in shoeboxes; and when the shoeboxes overflowed, the chaplains didn’t toss them out, the prayers were ceremoniously burned.

Cadge documented designated spaces in hospitals reserved for prayer; these chapels range from traditional church-looking rooms to rooms meant to be all-encompassing, or “interfaith,” outfitted with alcoves with specific religious symbols and texts.

The scope of a chaplain’s work varies with patients, but a chaplain’s responsibilities are deep and vast. “The one thing I found which most chaplains do … is working around death, often managing death for hospitals,” said Cadge, who noted that in some hospitals she visited, chaplains were paged for every trauma coming into the emergency room, and some were responsible for coordinating plans with the morgue and serving as a liaison for families.

“Part of a chaplain’s task is to help people find something to be hopeful about,” said Cadge, quoting a chaplain identified only as Karen. Karen also told Cadge, “People come literally from all over the world. We chaplains are the ones who make these people not be strangers. … We invite them into the community so that this becomes a safe haven in some regard.”

John, another chaplain Cadge encountered, had a different view. He believes a chaplain is “just someone who walks in, takes [patients] as they are, listens to their stories. … The most we can offer them is just a listening ear and a caring heart.”

A lot of a chaplain’s work is about healing, explained Cadge, quoting Karen. “A lot of work we chaplains do is about reconciliation, to help people to feel whole, to bring them back to what has been to what is, to what can be, either in this life or the next.”

Quotes

2009-07-23T14:56:00.002-07:00

I have no idea where this is really from, but it is scrawled on a paper in my office.

" Human disease is a normal state of the species, not a moral judgment. It's not the disease that evil, it is the thought that it can happen to you. "

"Maybe people were not human beings seeking spiritual experiences, but spiritual beings seeking human experience."

Spoon theory

2009-07-23T14:55:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning my office again and found this printout. It was sent to me by a friend who suffers from chronic pain/illness. She shared it with me as an easier way to describe "what it is like" for her. Below is a link for The Spoon theory, which I'm sure has been used in various ways to teach various things. I think that it is important to read as it give insight to the little things of life and our priorities.

Spoon Theory

Article for thought...

2009-07-22T15:39:00.005-07:00

This week, I found an "old" copy of the MacLean's magazine, from May 4th. The Cover article got my attention. In this diverse culture and multifaith/multicultural Canada, you would think that the statistics would be more favored. I think that a lot of people would be influenced by experience, (good or bad) and or by media image. We believe what we have been told/taught, and it is easy to characterize someone as "them" vs. humanizing the others. Often dialogue does not happen, or it is one sided, and hence there can be a view of intolerance. I am posting the article in full as sometimes the links will disappear over time.

What Canadians think of Sikhs, Jews, Christians, Muslims . . .

Apr 28, 2009 by John Geddes

Canadians like to think of their country as a model for the world of how all sorts of people can get along together. But when it comes to the major faiths other than Christianity, a new poll conducted for Maclean’s finds that many Canadians harbour deeply troubling biases. Multiculturalism? Although by now it might seem an ingrained national creed, fewer than one in three Canadians can find it in their hearts to view Islam or Sikhism in a favourable light. Diversity? Canadians may embrace it in theory, but only a minority say they would find it acceptable if one of their kids came home engaged to a Muslim, Hindu or Sikh. Understanding? There’s not enough to prevent media images of war and terrorism from convincing almost half of Canadians that mainstream Islam encourages violence.

The poll, by Angus Reid Strategies, surveyed 1,002 randomly selected Canadians on religion at a moment when issues of identity are a hot topic in Ottawa. Immigration Minister Jason Kenney has led a push by the Conservative government to revamp citizenship law, emphasizing the need for real bonds to Canada, and Kenney is looking for ways to encourage immigrants to integrate faster and more fully into Canadian society. But as federal policy strives to encourage newcomers to put down roots and fit in, the poll highlights an equal need for the Canadian majority to take a hard look at its distorted preconceptions about religious minorities. “It astonishes and saddens me as a Canadian,” said Angus Reid chief research officer Andrew Grenville, who has been probing Canadians’ views on religion for 16 years. “I don’t think the findings reflect well on Canada at all.”

Those findings leave little doubt that Canadians with a Christian background travel through life benefiting from a broad tendency of their fellow citizens to view their religion more favourably than any other. Across Canada, 72 per cent said they have a “generally favourable opinion” of Christianity. At the other end of the spectrum, Islam scored the lowest favourability rating, just 28 per cent. Sikhism didn’t fare much better at 30 per cent, and Hinduism was rated favourably by 41 per cent. Both Buddhism, at 57 per cent, and Judaism, 53 per cent, were rated favourably by more than half the population—but even Jews and Buddhists might reasonably ask if that’s a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty result.

Bernie Farber, chief executive officer of the Canadian Jewish Congress, said he was shocked that so many Canadians responding to a poll were willing to be so open about their negative feelings toward minority religions. “It tells me,” Farber said, “that our journey from intolerance to tolerance, to where we can actually celebrate each other’s cultures, is elusive.”

From the perspective of Sikhs and, especially, Muslims, that’s putting it mildly. When asked if they thought “the mainstream beliefs” of the major religions “encourage violence or are mostly peaceful,” only 10 per cent said they thought Christianity teaches violence. But fully 45 per cent said they believe Islam does, and a sizable 26 per cent saw Sikhism as encouraging violence. By comparison, just 13 per cent perceived violence in Hindu teachings and 14 per cent in Jewish religion. A tiny four per cent said they think of Buddhism as encouraging violence.

Ihsaan Gardee, executive director of the Council on Islamic-American Relations Canada, said “reductive reasoning” in media coverage of armed conflict in largely Islamic countries is a big part of the problem. Violence in countries with Muslim populations is portrayed as rooted in their religions in what Gardee calls a “clash of civilizations” world view. “They’re not looking at the social and economic context in which these things are happening,” Gardee said. “It can’t be reduced to Islam, per se.”

Clearly, Islam and Sikhism face the highest hurdles when it comes to persuading many Canadians they are not inherently violent faiths. The problem varies across regions. By far the highest percentage who viewed Islam as encouraging violence was found in Quebec, 57 per cent. Sikh doctrine is mostly likely to be viewed as violent in the province where about half of Canadian Sikhs live: 30 per cent of British Columbians said they think Sikhism encourages violence.

Palbinder Shergill, a Vancouver lawyer who has long represented the World Sikh Organization of Canada on legal matters, said she might have expected such negative opinions about Sikhism in the 1990s. Back then, the 1985 Air India bombing, the work of Sikh separatist terrorists, was still a fresh memory. “Air India has had a very lasting negative legacy for the Sikh community,” Shergill said. “The majority of imagery of Sikhs in the media typically associates the community with that sort of violence.”

Patient work trying to overcome the widespread view of Sikhs as dangerous seemed to be paying off, she said—until recently. Shergill said Sikhs have lately faced a “huge resurgence” of the sorts of challenges to their distinctive practices that they thought were put to rest 15 years or so ago. In Ontario, a Sikh man is fighting in court for the right to wear a turban, but not a helmet, when he rides his motorcycle. In Montreal last week, Judge Gilles Ouellet found a Sikh boy guilty of having threatened two other boys with a hair pin, used to keep his hair neat under his turban.

But Ouellet said the boy didn’t use his kirpan, the small symbolic dagger many Sikh men carry. The judge gave him an unconditional discharge, leaving him with a clean record, and said the case would never have reached his bench if the incident hadn’t had a religious dimension. “Too much importance has been given this case,” he said. “This matter should end here.”

Shergill suspects that many more Canadians read about the initial charge being laid than the remarks of the obviously frustrated judge. And the fact that this episode unfolded in Quebec is not incidental. The province appears to be an incubator of deep suspicions concerning minority faiths.

A mere 17 per cent of Quebecers said they have a favourable opinion of Islam, and just 15 per cent view Sikhism favourably. Only 36 per cent of Quebecers said they hold a favourable opinion of Judaism, far below the national average, and in sharp contrast to neighbouring Ontario, where 59 per cent expressed a favourable view of the Jewish religion. “It’s sadly not a shock,” Farber said.

Farber said his group, a 90-year-old advocacy organization for Canadian Jews, recently rebranded its Quebec wing as the Quebec Jewish Congress, a bid to highlight its roots in the province and reach out to francophone Quebecers. He said Quebec’s perennial anxieties about the survival of the French language play into attitudes toward minorities. “There are built-in fears there that have to be overcome,” he said. In fact, all religions were regarded less positively in Quebec than in Canada as a whole, including Christianity, which 67 per cent of Quebecers view favourably, five points below the Canadian average.

A heated debate over how far to go in “reasonable accommodation” of minorities gripped Quebec in 2007 and 2008. A commission headed by sociologist Gérard Bouchard and philosopher Charles Taylor toured the province holding often controversial hearings on the subject, ultimately concluding in a final report that Quebec needed to adapt, but that its cultural foundations were not at risk.

Angus Reid took that debate national, asking how far governments should go to accommodate minorities. A strong majority of 62 per cent agree with the statement, “Laws and norms should not be modified to accommodate minorities.” A minority, 29 per cent, agreed with the alternative statement, “On some occasions, it makes sense to modify specific laws and norms to accommodate minorities.” Another nine per cent weren’t sure. In Quebec, 74 per cent were against changing laws or norms, the highest negative response rate on the accommodation question in the country.

Recent campaign trail experience in Canada has taught politicians to be cautious about anything that smacks of a concession to religious minorities. John Tory, the former leader of Ontario’s Conservatives, was largely expected to win the province’s 2007 election, until he pledged to extend public funding to all religious schools. That promise proved deeply unpopular, even with his party’s base. The Angus Reid poll suggests that lesson can be broadly applied. It found 51 per cent oppose funding of Christian schools, and the level of opposition soars from 68 per cent to 75 per cent for all other religions. On even hotter-button religious issues, opposition is overwhelming. Only 23 per cent would allow veiled voting, and just three per cent Islamic sharia law—an even lower level of support than the eight per cent who would allow polygamy. There’s substantial sympathy for recognizing religious holidays, 45 per cent, but a solid majority still opposes the idea.

Leaders of religious groups contacted by Maclean’s commonly said their impression is that urban attitudes are more open, especially in Toronto and Vancouver—huge magnets for immigrants. Yet familiarity does not appear to be a reliable predictor of tolerance or acceptance. The Sikh community is prominent on the West Coast, but only 28 per cent of British Columbians surveyed reported a favourable impression of Sikhism. That was well below the figures in provinces where Sikhs are far less numerous, like neighbouring Alberta, where 47 per cent reported a favourable opinion of Sikhism, or Ontario, where Sikhism was rated favourably by 35 per cent.

Still, many advocates for Islamic and Sikh groups optimistically tout fostering personal contact—the sort of bonds that grow into friendships—as the key to creating acceptance of that religion. “The more that people have interactions with Muslims,” said Gardee from the Council on American-Islamic Relations Canada, “the more favourable an opinion they have of Muslims.”

To try to assess the extent and impact of friendships between Canadians of different faiths, Angus Reid asked, “Do you personally have any friends who are followers of any of these religions or not?” Not surprisingly, given that seven out of 10 Canadians identify themselves as Catholic or Protestant, the vast majority, 89 per cent, said they have Christian friends. Less predictably, given that only two per cent of the population follows Islam, fully 32 per cent of respondents claimed they have a Muslim friend. Only 16 per cent nationally reported having Sikh friends, but 36 per cent of British Columbians do. Across Canada, 45 per cent reported having Jewish friends, from a high of 61 per cent in Ontario to a low of 20 per cent in Quebec.

Digging into that data, Angus Reid checked to see if those who claimed to have friends of a particular religion tended to view that faith more positively. There is a correlation. Among those who said they don’t have any Muslim friends, a mere 18 per cent reported that their opinion of Islam is generally favourable. But among those who said they do have Muslim friends, 44 per cent had a favourable opinion of Islam.

For all other religions, well over half of the pool of people who have friends of a certain faith view that faith favourably: for example, 63 per cent of those with Sikh friends view Sikhism favourably, compared with just 23 per cent of those without Sikh friends. And 76 per cent of Canadians with Jewish friends are favourably disposed toward Judaism, while only 34 per cent of people with no Jewish friends have a favourable opinion of Judaism.

Beyond personal contact with adherents of different religions, there’s the question of whether Canadians really know much about what the various faiths profess. Asked about their level of knowledge, 86 per cent said they have a “good basic understanding” of Christianity, compared to just 32 per cent who make the same claim regarding Islam, 18 per cent for Hinduism, 12 per cent for Sikhism, 32 per cent for Buddhism and 40 per cent for Judaism. In fact, it’s a stretch to imagine that a third of Canadians really have a solid grounding in Islam. Or, to express that skepticism another way, is it likely that Canadians are much more likely to have a grasp of the basic tenets of Islam and Buddhism than of Sikhism and Hinduism?

More likely, the higher reported levels of “good basic understanding” actually represents superficial impressions gleaned from news reports, combined with images—both negative and positive—picked up from popular entertainment. Grenville pointed out that with common Old Testament roots, Christians, Muslims and Jews have a natural starting point for mutual understanding. As for Buddhism, he suggested the sixties cultural touchstones established good press. “Meditation, the Beatles, all these things that feel Buddhist, even if they’re not really Buddhist, feel friendly,” he said. “There haven’t been a lot of Buddhist wars.”

Muslims and Sikhs might well envy that vibe. But Buddhism is more than an odd case—it shows that even a fast-growing religion can avoid rubbing Canadians the wrong way. The Buddhist population increased 84 per cent between 1991 and the 2001 national census. Still, that left the total Buddhist population at only about 300,000, or around one per cent of the population—far too small for most Canadians to have anything beyond fleeting direct contact with the religion. Even so, Buddhism’s favourability rating of 57 per cent is four points higher than Judaism, a religion with much deeper roots in Canada. Buddhism was the only religion, including Christianity, for which more than half of people who said they don’t have a friend of that faith held a favourable opinion of it anyway.

Even among those who profess a broad acceptance of other religions, the prospect of one of your children marrying someone from an unfamiliar background can be a test of tolerance. On this delicate question, though, the poll suggests a paradox. Although only 28 per cent said they have a generally favourable opinion of Islam, fully 39 per cent declared that they would find it acceptable for one of their children to marry a Muslim. The pattern follows for the other minority faiths: Canadians surveyed were more likely to say they would approve of one of their kids marrying a follower of a given religion than tended to view that religion favourably. So while only 30 per cent view Sikhs favourably, 39 per cent wouldn’t object to a child marrying one. Similarly, 41 per cent have a favourable opinion of Hinduism, but 46 per cent would find their child’s marriage to a Hindu acceptable.

That pattern might signal an intriguing instinct to respect personal choice in marriage over misguided generalizations about religions. Still, the numbers hardly suggest open-armed tolerance: with respect to all three of Islam, Hinduism and Sikhism, less than half of those surveyed said they would find it acceptable for one of their children to marry a follower of those religions. For the marriage question, the results again suggest the usual stratification: Christianity is by far most widely accepted, followed by Judaism and Buddhism, with Islam, Hinduism and Sikhism facing the most negative feelings. A resounding 83 per cent would accept a child marrying a Christian, 53 per cent a Buddhist, and 56 per cent a Jew.

Overall, the findings suggest minority religions aren’t getting a fair shake from the majority. But there remain legitimate questions, even misgivings, about the relationship between mainstream believers and fringe extremists. Outsiders, including journalists, sometimes have trouble gauging how many Sikhs support groups that have sometimes resorted to terrorism in their quest to carve a separate state out of India. Earlier this month, for instance, portraits of the assassins of former Indian prime minister Indira Gandhi were reportedly on display in Surrey, B.C., at celebrations of Vaisakhi, the birth of Sikhism, and the images even appeared on T-shirts. Palbinder Shergill responds to questions about this sort of issue by making the simple, but fundamental, point that not everything a particular Sikh espouses should reflect on Sikhism as a whole.

Muslim groups also face a minefield of image challenges, which often flow from international affairs rather than domestic life. Gardee admits, for example, his organization’s campaign urging the federal government to bring home Omar Kahdr might convey the wrong impressions to some Canadians. After all, Khadr, the Canadian being held by the U.S. at the Guantánamo Bay detention facility, is the son of Ahmed Said Khadr, who was an al-Qaeda financier before he was killed in a gun battle in Pakistan in 2003. Other members of the Khadr family have made outrageous public comments. “Yes, some of the things his family have said have been troubling and outright disturbing,” Gardee said. “But as a Canadian citizen he still has rights. He’s a Canadian citizen and he’s a Muslim. That puts him squarely within our mandate to deal with.”

The problem of how to project a moderate face of Islam to a wider Canadian public is a pressing challenge. Within disparate Muslim communities—and the religion is anything but monolithic—the nature of mosque leadership is a subject of sometimes fierce debate. In fact, that argument is currently raging at Ottawa’s largest mosque, just a few minutes drive west of Parliament Hill. An imam recruited last year from Egypt to preach at the mosque is regarded by some who pray there as not fluent enough in English and too out of touch with modern Canadian society for the job. Others say he needs more time to find his place.

Karim Karim, a communications professor at Carleton University in Ottawa, recently released a report based on extensive surveys and focus group sessions in Canada, the U.S. and Britain that found Muslims in all three countries yearn for imams who better understand the West. “There was a lot of admiration for leaders who were engaging in issues of youth, poverty, employment, women’s issues,” Karim told Maclean’s, “rather than just knowing the theology and being able to recite the Quran.”

Perhaps a new generation of Muslim leaders more attuned to Canadian sensibilities can help bridge the obvious gaps in understanding. Karim points to negative connotations that have built up around a handful of loaded terms. According to him, sharia is a “very malleable, very diverse” set of ethics and values about leading a Muslim life—not a rigid legal code. He describes a fatwa as an “informed opinion by a learned scholar”—not a death edict. And Karim says most Muslims think of jihad as “a daily struggle to be a good Muslim.” But he adds, “It would be disingenuous on my part to say that, no, the other side does not exist. It does exist—the taking up of arms for a cause of justice.”

His willingness to try to explain details, convey nuances, even underline contradictions—it all suggests that Karim craves dialogue on a level the Angus Reid poll suggests too few Canadians are ready for. Even Grenville, who has long experience tracking all sorts of opinions, finds the landscape of attitude toward unfamiliar faiths bleak. “This runs counter to all we espouse,” he said. “We need to face up to the reality of it.” No doubt leaders of the fast-growing, little-understood religious minorities need to consider the image they project. But the rest of Canadians might try a little soul-searching, too. For a country that often boasts of modern identity based on acceptance of diversity, this poll suggests that’s still a goal to strive toward rather than an achieved reality.

Angus Reid’s online poll was conducted from April 14 to April 15, 2009. The margin of error is +/- 3.1 per cent, 19 times out of 20. The results were statistically weighted for education, age, gender and region to ensure a sample representative of the adult population of Canada.

http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/04/28/what-canadians-think-of-sikhs-jews-christians-muslims/ printed on Jul 22, 2009

One comment posted on the MacLean's site is

by Roseth @ Sunday, Apr. 26, 2009 – 16:44:07

Maclean’s John Geddes has provided a balanced and interesting delineation of the Angus Reid online poll. Islam, in particular, has been getting much negative attention since 911, much of it justified, if one look at the rabid, extremist Muslim factions. Sikhs also have been involved in extremist acts; the Air India affair being the worst example. Tamils, though practically “inventing” suicide attacks, have had less impact on Canadian society.

It is unfortunate that new Canadians bring their origin countries conflicts with them here, especially when it leads to violence in their adoptive country. It does seem that the current crop of immigrants, especially those with strong ethnic and religious connections, have more difficulty accepting and adjusting to the values of their host county, than did earlier arrivals. The extremist behaviour displayed by some groups, reflected in some youth and a few families such as the Khadr clan, is causing damage to the Muslim image everywhere, and one can fault, to a degree, the moderate Muslim community for not taking a more vocal and firm stance against the few recalcitrant extremists among them.

However, one need not be a historian to know that these problems have always been with us, in one form or another. For example, Irish Fenians caused much conflict and consternation both in Canada and the United States, including physical attacks and the assassination of a member of the Canadian parliament and former sympathiser, Thomas D’Arcy McGee, in 1868. The Irish have maintained a strong Irish cultural identity over the years, but no one would suggest today that they have failed to adapt to Canadian society.

It is unfortunate that extreme tribalism, both of the political/social and the religious mode, is allowed to prevail in our society, but it is difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff. The same churches, temples, synagogues and mosques that serve as a support system for new arrivals, can also act as an incubator for extremism. We must always be vigilant in ferreting out the lunatic fringes, but also be mindful that given time, the greater good for our society will persevere. It did in the past, and it will do so in the future. Our ship of state is built for stormy weather, and behind the clouds the sun is still shining.

Quote of the day

2009-07-15T08:00:00.002-07:00

In my office, it is a common question from one of my bosses, "if you are here, who is looking after God's people?"

Well last night, after being paged into the hospital, I returned home to tell my hubby the story of the mishaps that occured to get there and to get home. In the end, I finished my story with "well, I looked after God's people, but I went through hell to do it."

Makes Me Wonder...

2009-07-01T13:48:00.003-07:00

"Why are people like this? They can't be bothered to show up when the person is alive (but very sick), so why do they think they can/should show up when they are dead?"

At work, I have heard some family members comment how disappointed and angry they are about the fact that this happens. They have watched their loved one/family member go from being vibrant members of the community who may have been the life of the party... to people suffering from long term illness and eventually death. Why do "friends" and family stay away when times are hard? I guess this is a cruel lesson to learn about who your friends are and who they are not. It is cruel lesson to learn that the people you thought loved and cared for you or your loved one, really don't know how to be there in the tough times.

I know that there is a idea of the fair weather friend. The friends that are there when times are good. Or the people that meant to be in your life for a time and place and then fade away or move on. And that there are people who are able to stick it out in the difficult times. True, we don't always know what to say or what to do when things seem bad. True, at times there are people that we question why they are there, or what their motive/intent is. And there are some people that we don't really click with anyhow....

Illness or suffering brings out the true nature of people. Weddings and funerals are said to be the times when you will see the family dynamics come to life. The things that we had hoped to ignore or had hoped would go away come floating to the surface and that is when you see the "ugly-ness" of the system dynamics.

I guess this comment makes me wonder.. what is the motivation of the people who show up for the funeral but not when the person is alive, and who is/are the people that I have been neglecting in my life?

2009-06-28T22:48:00.001-07:00

From CBC news.. this past week..

Multi-donor, long-distance kidney swap a first in Canada

Last Updated: Thursday, June 25, 2009 | 6:30 PM ET Comments25 Recommend63

CBC News

Domino kidney transplants mean fewer people are left on waiting lists, says Dr. Edward Cole. (CBC)

Four Canadians have new kidneys thanks to the country's first pay-it-forward exchange of organs from Toronto, Edmonton and Vancouver.

Living-donor kidney swaps are based on the idea of group co-operation: a donor whose kidney isn't compatible with a loved one who needs a new kidney agrees to donate to a stranger. In exchange, the partner receives a kidney from someone else.

Simultaneous kidney swaps have been done in Toronto before, but this multi-city swap had to be carefully co-ordinated across three time zones.

"It's been challenging," said Dr. Edward Cole, chair of the National Living Donor Kidney Exchange Program. "This is a real success story of people collaborating across the country, and with important input from Canadian Blood Services."

Timing is key, given ethical fears that once a patient receives a kidney, their partner could rescind an offer to donate. A donor or recipient might also have to back out after falling sick.

To avoid any last-minute problems, all donors were put under general anesthesia and none of the donor operations were started until all surgeons confirmed by telephone that they were ready to begin.

In this case, donors travelled to where the recipients were: two to Toronto General Hospital, one to Edmonton's University of Alberta Hospital, and another to St. Paul's Hospital in Vancouver. Each site had more than 50 medical personnel involved.

It's also possible to fly kidneys between cities, since the organs remain viable for 12 hours after donation.

For some patients with severe kidney failure, a donation from a live donor offers better and faster results than transplants from deceased donors, said Cole, who is also the head of the University Health Network's kidney transplant program in Toronto.

Good Samaritan

In kidney swaps, the living donors are medically acceptable but are incompatible with their loved one based on blood type and other traits. The intricate process was featured on an episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Previously it has not been possible to use donors in this way because there was no national database to co-ordinate the matches.

Three of the donors had offered to give loved ones a kidney before, but weren't the right match. The fourth donor was a Good Samaritan.

"The best untold story is that one of the donors is an anonymous donor," said Dr. Sandra Cockfield, medical director of the renal transplant program at the University of Alberta.

"So this is an individual who came forward to donate not to someone they actually know on the waiting list, but had heard about the long waiting lists and the difficulty of living on dialysis," and came forward to donate to a stranger.

In this surgical marathon, the Good Samaritan or "non-directed donor" came forward and was matched to a recipient, allowing the chain of paired exchanges or domino surgeries to take place. The Good Samaritan was thus able to facilitate four transplants, including the last to someone on the waiting list.

Since many pairs are needed to improve the odds of a match, a national program works much better than a local one, Cole said.

The transplant surgical marathon required months of planning by Canadian Blood Services, which set up the national registry. Paired exchanges have also been performed in the U.S., but no national registry exists there.

"We're offering a new of getting transplants, and then it puts less pressure for all those who are waiting on the wait list," said Dr. Peter Nickerson of Canadian Blood Services in Winnipeg.

Donors and recipients are all recovering well in different wards to maintain their anonymity.

The pilot project involving B.C., Alberta and Ontario is going national.

"The fact that it's a possibility for me now opens up so many more doors, and it's a very exciting prospect," said Didja Nawolsky of Calgary, who is on the waiting list for a kidney. While she waits, Nawolsky gets 10 hours of dialysis daily.

Doctors involved are already scouting their next cross-Canada, multi-kidney swap.

Thought for the day

2009-06-24T09:44:00.001-07:00

My colleague mentioned that he had heard a speech by a military chaplain who referred to our work as "intentional loitering". Neat idea.

Question to ponder

2009-05-28T21:49:00.002-07:00

"What is the Spiritual meaning of this event in your life?" This is a question that was posed to me in recent weeks. I think that this is a question at the heart of most events in our lives. What is the significant of this event/happening in our life? at this point in our life, as we are living it and in hindsight, what do we make of it as we reflect on some event that has occurred in recent months or years? I suppose that various events take on different meaning to us depending on what we are dealing with at any given time. It is usually hard to figure out the meaning of things as we are in the midst of the chaos or action, but upon reflection, it might be easier to discern the impact on our lives.

Often this is the question that I ask of my patients. That based on where you are at this time in your life, how do you make sense of this event? What is the meaning of this happening? What is giving you purpose at this time in your life?

This may seem simple, but really, it takes a while to ponder. One patient told me yesterday that when I went her months ago, it was what I told her and the fact that I listened as she tried to make sense of her illness that helped her to see it in a different light. Often the answers are not known to us right away, but take time to discern. Sadly, not everyone engages in self-reflection.

2009-04-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

Mercies Anew

2009-04-18T17:57:00.002-07:00

This is a song that the choir had specially commissioned for someone in our church ...

Mercies Anew

Commissioned for Evelyn Loewen by FBC Choir

Written by Mark Altrogge and Bob Kauflin, Arranged by Larry Nickel

Ev’ry morning that breaks there are mercies anew.

Ev’ry breath that I take is Your faithfulness proved.

At the end of each day, when my labours are through,

I will sing of your mercies anew.

And your mercies they will never end;

For ten thousand years, they remain.

And then this world’s beauty has passed away,

Your mercies will be unchanged.

When I’ve fallen and strayed, there were mercies anew,

You sought me in love and my heart You pursued.

In the face of my sin, Lord, You never withdrew.

I will sing of your mercies anew.

And your mercies they will never end;

For ten thousand years, they remain.

And then this world’s beauty has passed away,

Your mercies will be unchanged.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

when the storms swirl and rage there are mercies anew

In affliction and pain You will carry me through

And at the end of my days when Your throne fills my view

I will sing of Your mercies anew

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

And then this world’s beauty has passed away,

Your mercies will be unchanged.

at the end of my days when Your throne fills my view

I will sing of Your mercies anew

Putting a Face to Tragedy

2009-04-14T08:09:00.003-07:00

Because the links often disappear from the net, I am copying and putting the local paper's article here.

Mike's journey ends in fatal misfortune

By MATT KIELTYKA, 24 HOURS

A disabled homeless man is found murdered at an elementary school.

For most people, that's all they'll ever learn about Michael Nestoruk.

The 41-year-old's life before his grisly death Thursday has been an enigma to police, but a snapshot of the man taken two years ago reveals much more.

In February 2007, Nestoruk contacted 24 hours months after a photo of him - sleeping at Victory Square with his beat-down wheelchair by his side - was used on the cover.

Seeing himself as the poster boy for homelessness turned out to be a shock to Nestoruk's system, and a huge motivator as he battled to reclaim a normal life.

"I was pissed off because there I was exposed to everyone," the fiery father of two was quoted in "Back from abyss," a feature that ran in 24 hours on Feb. 27, 2007. "It's the only picture of me on the street and I thought 'what are my kids going to think when they see this?'"

He was estranged from his wife and his two children.

With the help of two B.C. Paraplegic Association outreach workers, Nestoruk dragged himself out of a drug-addicted lifestyle one step at a time.

He received a new wheelchair, a prosthetic leg and became an inspiration to others as he kicked a destructive drug habit and joined the province's wheelchair tennis team.

Spring Cleaning for (of) the Soul

2009-04-09T08:41:00.004-07:00

This month's theme for the bulletin board at work is "Spring Cleaning for the Soul". This has various meanings. First, it is Spring!! (Yipee!) that means that flowers will soon bloom and things will grow and the earth's beauty will be changed yet again.

It is also a time to clean out the junk in the house, closet, or desk and get rid of what you don't use, need or want. It is said that a good rule of thumb is "if you haven't used it in 6 months, you likely aren't going to." So get rid of the papers, get rid of the "skinny jeans" that you hoped to loose enough weight to fit into, get rid of books that you aren't going to re-read, get rid of clutter. It will make you feel better in more ways than one.

Cleaning for the soul is therapeutic. Cleaning out the junk that you trip over, the piles that manifest.. it frees you when you get rid of or let go of "things". The other "soul cleaning" is your emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being. Is there stuff that you hang onto? Things that you wish you would/could change about yourself? Things that you don't want to see/know about yourself? It's time to take this stuff out, look at it, examine it, and understand why you are keeping it. It could be a thought about your self, leading to low self-esteem; it could be a grudge against someone from way back when, leading to anger and bitterness; it could be a negative attitude... GET RID OF IT!! It's not doing you any good.

True there are some things that we hang on to, such as memories, pictures, momentos, but I'm talking about the issues and ideas that bog us down in life and keep us from being the content, loving people that we were created to be.

So get to it. Take out the trash of life. It will do your soul some good. If you can't do it alone, get someone to help you.

Quote of the day

2009-03-18T16:30:00.003-07:00

The other day I realized that I had way too many bananas in the freezer and remembered a nurse had once asked me to make banana bread for her, which I did. So having bananas, I thought of her again and made another loaf. It is a newer recipe for me; one that was given as a wedding shower gift. The nurse was thrilled and asked if she was required to share it (with the other nurses). I told her that she could share it or hoard it, it was hers to do with.
The next day she came and told me that it was good and that her son loved it. She is Filipino and said, that her son asked if I was white.
The conversation she told me went like this.
"Mommy, who made this?"
"Oh.. ________ from work."
"Is she white?"
"Yes. She's white."
"That's what I thought. White people bake really good."

I thought it was funny. I have never heard of that concept before. But then we all have our gifts don't we?

Quote of the day

2009-03-12T16:52:00.001-07:00

Overheard in rounds:

Head doctor instructing intern/fellow about a consult...

" So if you want this service (X) to come and see the patient about [this issue], then the best way is to go to their office and talk to them. Phoning them doesn't always get results."

"Ok. Where's their office?"

"I don't know. ... Somewhere in the hospital, but I've never known."

" Well that will get us far." (Considering how big the place is... Not.)

Funny place that this is... even the doctors saw the humor of the situation. And the team joked that perhaps the other service deliberately hides the office so that we don't add to their already busy case load.

World Kidney Day

2009-03-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

PlainViews Article

2009-03-09T20:40:00.002-07:00

This article is from Plainviews.org. A newsletter for chaplains out of the U.S.

Taming the Cell Phone — Benefits and Burdens in the Critical Care Setting

Rev. Peggy Muncie

They buzz, they beep, and they sing our favorite songs. They tell us who is calling and sometimes even why. We need them to stay in instant touch. We live in the age of the cell phone, BlackBerry, mp3 phone and who knows what will come next.

We are a long way from the wild dreams of my pre-teen years when I imagined the best thing in the world would be a phone in our car when I could then pass the time with friends as I was toted on errands and also to inform them of the teen gossip I had witnessed. Back then a car phone was luxury personified.

In 1990, I won a car phone! Granted it was about the size of a shoe box, but I was a proud mobile communicator. The phone enabled me to keep tabs on home and hospital; my family and my co-workers could reach me in times of need. I even indulged in chatting hands-free with my friends on long drives.

In the last twenty years mobile technology has exploded. There is a device in nearly every pocket, spanning the generations from grade school to gerontology.

Recently, I’ve witnessed the impact of cellular communication in the critical care hospital setting. I am troubled by what I see happening. Does it bring people together and help family and friends support each other in time of crisis? Or is it a diversion and distraction from being present to the feelings of the moment?

What has led me to write about this? On a Friday evening at 11:50 PM, a twenty-seven-year-old Hispanic male was brought by friends to the ER. He had been the victim of a street corner shooting in the neighborhood and was bleeding profusely. He was intubated, stabilized and prepared for surgery.

My pager rang at 12:04 AM. “A young male was shot. He is on the way to surgery. It doesn’t look good. The family is gathering, please come and offer support.” When I arrived at the hospital at 12:35 AM, a crowd of 25 people was present.

Seeking out the key family members I inquired, “How may I help?”

“Find out what is going on,” was their response.

As the family held vigil, the progress of surgery was monitored. The crowd grew. Five more people, then three more, then ten more arrived. As the anxious hours passed there was never a time in meeting with, listening to and praying alongside the growing family that there was NOT the buzz of a BlackBerry or jingle of a cell phone.

At 3:15 AM, the surgical resident arrived and asked me to escort the significant persons to the ICU waiting lounge, where the attending surgeon wanted to share the patient’s status. Even in the small square of the elevator the three key women were fielding cellular calls.

In the ICU lounge the surgical team painted a very critical and guarded picture. He was out of surgery. “The bleeding was nearly impossible to control. He required massive units of blood, as the bullet’s path injured a major artery. The next 12 hours are critical. In a few minutes he will be ready for you to see him,” said the surgeon. Prayer and hope-filled tension permeated the room; yet, so did the sound of the cell phone’s omnipresent ring spreading the anxious news.

Soon the family was escorted to be bedside. When we entered, the bleeding was again uncontrolled, blood pressure was dropping, and a code was called. The family spoke words of love and encouragement and prayed to the Almighty for life to be sustained. Still the noise of the cell phones were there among the commands of the code and the unique sounds of the ICU at 3:45 AM.

God and the patient heard the words of encouragement and love; yet, the random violence of the streets prevailed; life left this young man at 4:17 AM. A child of five was now fatherless.

The lead surgeon with compassion and sensitivity shared the message, “Your son and your husband has died. We were not able to save his life. We offered him everything we knew. We are extremely sorry. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.” Tears, shouts, sobs, the physical expressions of painful disbelief and grief overwhelmed this small room. So did the sound of the cell phone.

The family then poured into the room to spend time, to have their personal farewell, to come and see, to touch and feel, to know that in the last few hours a brother, a cousin, a godchild, a stepchild, a buddy, a childhood companion, a friend, had died. The family and friends came in twos and threes, in fives and sixes and as they came, they called and text messaged others. For two hours the mourners came to turn their disbelief into the reality of mourning. By 6:30 AM, there were probably about 100 persons bidding him goodbye.

How did the news travel so fast? What brought so many family, friends and neighbors to the hospital? What was this instrument of connection? What was it that persistently permeated the tears and wails of grief? What was it that drove family from the intensity of the moment to the sound of the familiar? The Cell. The BlackBerry. That was it. How do we tame this beast so it does not to draw those we care for from the intensity of the moment?

On planes, in movie theaters, in spas, in houses of worship, we silence our cellular devices. We stay present to the moment. In this practice of ministry the cell phone and the dilemma it presents is a phenomena that is encroaching on being pervasive.

This is a call I issue to my colleagues: Is it right to tame this technology at times such as these? Where lays the answer between the benefit and the burden of this means of instant communication in the critical care setting? How do we as caregivers help establish policy that keeps loved ones in the present and yet allows those who need to be informed and in touch to do so?
Rev. Peggy Muncie is an ordained Episcopal priest and has been a board certified chaplain since 1984. Her breadth of ministry includes campus, long-term care, aging, acute-care hospital, and outpatient chaplaincy. She is currently a staff chaplain at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center in the New York City area, a HealthCare Chaplaincy partner.

Faith IQ??

2009-03-07T20:23:00.003-08:00

Today's edition of the local newspaper had an interesting article about faith. It essentially summarizes James Fowler's book Stages of Faith.

The article is called
Stages of faith: What's your spiritual quotient?
Many thinkers are making the case that humans are capable of evolving spiritually, of progressing to higher rungs

By Douglas Todd, Vancouver Sun
March 7, 2009

We all have IQs. Or Intelligence Quotients. IQ measure human's ability to reason with language, numbers and spatial relations. We also have EQs. Or Emotional Quotients.

Made famous by psychologist Daniel Goleman, they describe humans' skill handling emotions. We also have what could be called MQs, or Moral Quotients. Researcher Lawrence Kohlberg has been among those measuring humans' capacity for empathy and ethical reasoning.

We also, I would suggest, have SQs, or Spiritual Quotients.

Psychologists have done incredible work in the past century measuring the developmental stages of humans as they transform from mother-hugging infants into rebellious teenagers and, with a bit of luck, responsible adults. Some complain that religiosity, or belief in God, should not be similarly categorized. In this politically correct era, they don't want to hear about (gasp) spiritual hierarchies -- in which one spiritual stage is considered higher than another. But why not?

Just as Swiss social scientist Jean Piaget mapped out the four stages in which children learn to take in reality, and psychologist Erik Erikson outlined eight healthy stages we can go through from birth to death, many thinkers are making a good case that humans also spiritually evolve.

People are capable of progressing up a spiritual ladder. It doesn't mean they become smug on the higher spiritual rungs. Au contraire. But they can learn to function at a more complex, subtle and profound spiritual level.

Some of the scholars, psychologists and mystics who have been mapping the stages of spiritual growth include Clare Graves, Robert Kegan, Sri Aurobindo, Don Beck and especially Ken Wilber in his book, Integral Spirituality. In Vancouver, educator Chris Dierkes is among those specializing on the subject.

One of the spiritual development experts I find most intriguing is psychologist James Fowler of Emory University, author of the classic book, Stages of Faith. Fowler believes every baby starts out "undifferentiated." Babies don't make a distinction between a mother's warm, safe breast and God.

Fowler doesn't even call this primal beginning a stage. As a result, he says the first stage of spiritual development, which lasts from ages two to seven, is the one of unconscious religious fantasy.

After this comes the "mythic" stage. It's when people begin holding to literal and absolute truths. They might, for instance, believe the Genesis account of a six-day creation is fact. After this comes the third stage -- of "conventional" faith or spirituality.

It occurs when people move beyond their family of origin and seriously engage schools, peers and the media. They accept the judgment of significant others, like teachers and clergy. This conformist stage is when people develop loyalty to an ideology, group or lifestyle -- whether religious, military, artistic, economic or political. It is also when many religious groups often choose, unwisely, to hold "confirmation" classes, requiring teenagers to commit to a religious doctrine.

Many people, however, move on from this conformist approach -- to stage four, which is where Fowler says spirituality becomes more of an individual struggle. Stage four, to Fowler, marks a more reflective time, where self-actualization becomes the prime concern, and people try to take personal responsibility for their beliefs. In stage four a person starts listening to often-disturbing inner voices that challenge orthodoxy. They begin looking seriously at other religions and belief systems, realizing some of their convictions may be relative. This stage can happen in young adulthood or in one's 30s or 40s.

It often rises up just after religious "confirmation" classes, leading many teens to completely reject the religion of their youth. It is a "demythologizing" stage, Fowler says. It includes some atheists.

"It's dangers are inherent in its strengths; stage four comes with an excessive confidence in . . . critical thought and a kind of second narcissism."

The fifth stage of spiritual development leads to integration. In this stage, which is unusual before mid-life, Fowler says we recognize our own weaknesses and can see truth in paradox. The religion scholar Paul Ricouer would see stage five as one of "second naivete," Fowler says.

It's a helpful phrase. "Second naivete" occurs when people no longer take literally the stories of any spiritual or cultural tradition, either western or eastern. Instead, they deeply explore in themselves the "symbolic power" of stories about Moses, Jesus, Krishna, Buddha and others. They treat the stories "as if" they were true, mining them for transcendent meaning.

Finally, there is the highest stage of spiritual growth -- six: The universal. Fowler says it is "exceedingly rare" to achieve stage six, which some might call enlightenment. People in this stage "have become incarnators and actualizers of the spirit of an inclusive and fulfilled human community."

"Universalizers are often experienced as subversive of the structures (including religious) by which we sustain our individual and corporate survival and significance. Many persons in this stage die at the hands of those whom they hope to change," Fowler says.

No doubt thinking of people such as Jesus, Gandhi, Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddha, Aung San Suu Kyi and other courageous luminaries, Fowler says universalizers don't necessarily have to believe in God. But they do "have a special grace that makes them seem more lucid, more simple and yet somehow more fully human than the rest of us." They are not necessarily perfect. But people who have reached this enlightened sixth stage of spiritual development think globally, while still cherishing the particular.

That includes their specific communities, which at their best can be "vessels of the universal." Life, for those at stage six, is "both loved and held to loosely," Fowler says. "Such persons are ready for fellowship with persons at any of the other stages and from any other faith tradition."

To me, Fowler and his ilk make a convincing and eloquent case: Not all spiritualities are created equal.

Anti Bully Day AKA "Wear Pink Day"

2009-02-27T09:24:00.004-08:00

This past Wednesday, our colleague led us in devotional/thought for the week related to "Anti-Bullying day". I never knew where this came from until he read us a brief story about the origin.

The pink movement was begun last fall by two Annapolis Valley students who rallied around a younger student after he was bullied for wearing a pink polo shirt on the first day of school.

David Shepherd and Travis Price, who were in Grade 12 at Central Kings Rural High School, asked all students at their school to wear pink T-shirts to combat bullying.

They bought 50 pink shirts from a discount store, then e-mailed classmates to get them on board. The next day, hundreds of students showed up wearing pink clothing. Before long, the movement had spread around the province and across the country.

I got a kick out of hearing where this originated as I went to university in the area and had to pass the school numerous times on my way around town.

Our colleague led us in a meditation about this....

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

Mat you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content kneeing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sin, dance, praise and love.

Bullies’ words sing and slice through me.

Bullies’ words twist into shapes that beat me and leave me like a trampled leaf.

I run to hide but there is no safe corner.

I only need a small place to lick my wounds.

If God loves me enough to create me and to give me life, then I can love and respect myself no less. I no longer believe that I am undeserving of the good things in life made available for myself and everyone else in the world.

There are always times when we feel unlovely and unloved, bewildered, lost, unsure of who we are and of what is expected of us.

There always seem to be dark time of pain and confusion, of misunderstandings that become like tangled roots – twisted – without space to grow deeply.

I know that God is the one and only source of my being. Spirit Itself created me. Life Itself lives through me. Love Itself sustains me. I am an important and connected part of this spiritual universe.

Therefore: I ACCEPT my own beauty, and I see it reflected in the world around me.

I ACCEPT my own power, and I use it wisely.

I ACCEPT my own worth, and I live generously.

I ACCEPT my own love, and I share it freely.

I ACCEPT my own potential, and I live it fully.

There are always times when we feel trashed and rejected, sometimes by those close to us. And so we pack our pain away deep down, as deep as twisted roots, and tightly, very tightly, afraid it might be glimpsed, unpacked by cruel tongues.

My past, my false beliefs, and my feeling of unworthiness no longer define me. I accept full responsibility for my life, my thoughts, my feelings and my actions. I mat not always like what I do or how I feel, but I choose always to love myself in the meantime. Never again will I judge myself as undeserving of becoming the person I was meant to be.

Help us to disentangle the knots of confusion and misunderstanding,

To understand the hurts that other feel – that we have ignored.

To those who withhold refuge, I cradle you in safety at the core of my Being.

To those that cause a child to cry out, I grant you the freedom to express your own choked agony.

To those that inflict terror, I remind you that you shine with the purity of a thousand suns.

To those who would confine, suppress, or deny, I offer the limitless expanse of the sky.

To those who need to cut, or burn, I remind you of the invincibility of Spring.

To those who cling and grasp, I promise generosity without measure.

To those who vent their rage on small children, I return to you your deepest innocence.

To those who must frighten into submission, I hold you in the bosom of your original mother.

To those who cause agony to other, I give the gift of free flowing tears.

To those that deny another’s right to be, I remind you that the angels sang in celebration of you on the day of your birth.

To those who see only division and separateness, I remind you that a part is born only bisecting a whole.

For those who have forgotten the tender mercy of a mother’s embrace, I send a gentle breeze to caress your brow.

To those who still fee somehow incomplete, I offer the perfect sanctity of this moment.

Help us to speak of what we feel.

Help us to know when others need to speak so that then we can listen.

God the father and mother of us all, beyond our highest thoughts and deepest knowledge, who has given us the gift of language that we may communicate with one another and talk of every aspect of your created world, direct our mind and our lips that in all our dealings with others our word may be fair, so that we cause no hurt, and let our actions reflect the kindness of our words. Amen.

Help us to loosen the tight package of pain and move into new understandings.

Dear Lord, we know that you have given us the freedom to choose. We can choose whether to treat others with kindness and respect or to scorn, bully and abuse them. Help us to choose rightly.

Help us to recognize the divine image in each one of us, however different we may be as individuals.

Help us to resist the pressures of others who want us to join them in making someone a victim of their cruelty. Help us to know that in hurting others we are hurting our better selves and hurting you. Amen.

Let share, and search and listen; let us know ourselves more completely and feel an awakened sense of all that is good and true spilling over into riches of brightness and love.

May the God of light shine from us; the love of God flow through us; the power of God inspire us; and the presence of God make us bold in the ways of peace so that wherever we are, God is, and all may be well. Amen.

In Times like these....

2009-02-27T08:59:00.003-08:00

These past 2 weeks have been busy. "Busy crazy" as I call it. I returned from a week away and scrambled to catch up. Surprisingly, despite the busy-ness of it all, I have been very focused. More so than in the longest time. My first week back, I was on call. That means from 6 or 8 p.m. I carry a pager and respond when it goes off. The first day I had it, it went off at 2:30 a.m. I called in to find out that the staff were in the middle of a code (complete with CPR) and that the family member was on their way up to the ward. I made it there is 30 minutes instead of the usual hour. I guess it is partly due to the lack of traffic on the usually crowded highways...

Then when I was there supporting the family member, I was paged by another unit saying that a patient had died and that the family would like an Anglican minister to come and pray. At 4 in the morning, it was unlikely that I would find anyone as I think we mostly have office numbers as contact. So I went and prayed with them even though I am not Anglican, then I went back upstairs to continue with family #1. I got home when I would normally be getting up and "slept in" going back to work for 10 a.m.

This week has been busy as well. Referals about patients who are depressed and want to die. They "want to go to sleep and not wake up" or they are just "tired of being sick". I have been watching some of my long-term patients (people I have known for many months, and in some cases, many years) decline. Loosing their physical function, or cognitive status -- not knowing where they are, when did they last talk to their family member (yesterday or 2 hours ago), or going into cardiac arrest.

Yesterday, I attended a code blue before I left that day. The patient's family was there and I knew them all pretty well. I actually cried when I left them. It is hard to see patients crash. It is hard to leave them while the story is still playing out...

This morning I was thinking about the patient who crashed before I left. They "aren't really religious". The family has church afilliations but they have not been active for a number of years due to working schedules and health status. And for some reason, the verse of a hymn that I learned as a child came to my head. This is what I have to offer them...

In times like these, we need a Savior.
In times like these, we need an anchor.
Be very sure, Be very sure,
Your anchor holds and grips the solid Rock.

My head messes up and says "be very sure your anchor hold through the storms of life" which alludes to another hymn, "Will your anchor hold in the storms of life?"

That is what a lot of people need in their lives, is to know that when life's storms come, that they are strong enough to weather it, and won't crash into the sea of turmoil. But also to know that should they crash into the sea, that there is someone to help pull them out. A friend, a brother, a mom, a nurse, a doctor, ... a caring soul... who won't let them go down alone.

Warm Fuzzies

2009-02-13T11:05:00.004-08:00

This past week, there was a fire in Austrailian Bush country. A koala bear was found (see video below) and given water by a firefighter. She was taken to a shelter and named Sam. Sam met "Bob" who was also rescued and the two have befriended each other in their time of survival. It is a love story that has captivated the world.

Another warm fuzzy is an email I received with pictures of babies. No one I know but cute.

Art Show: Images of Hope

2008-12-17T23:51:00.004-08:00

One of my colleagues is a painter. Today he had a showing of his paintings. The theme was "Images of Hope".

One woman who stopped told me that this was just what she needed today, as she was feeling down in the morning. Likely the weather,

About Heavens

2008-12-15T08:07:00.002-08:00

Here is a video to watch .. art show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFgwyoGjTyc

Poetry

2008-12-12T19:18:00.004-08:00

I found a new poetry book. Bartlett's Poems for Occasions

William Butler Yeats. b. 1865

863. When You are Old

WHEN you are old and gray and full of sleep
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,	5
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled	10
And paced upon the mountains overhead,
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

3. An Old Man’s Winter Night


ALL out of doors looked darkly in at him
Through the thin frost, almost in separate stars,
That gathers on the pane in empty rooms.
What kept his eyes from giving back the gaze
Was the lamp tilted near them in his hand.	5
What kept him from remembering what it was
That brought him to that creaking room was age.
He stood with barrels round him—at a loss.
And having scared the cellar under him
In clomping there, he scared it once again	10
In clomping off;—and scared the outer night,
Which has its sounds, familiar, like the roar
Of trees and crack of branches, common things,
But nothing so like beating on a box.
A light he was to no one but himself	15
Where now he sat, concerned with he knew what,
A quiet light, and then not even that.
He consigned to the moon, such as she was,
So late-arising, to the broken moon
As better than the sun in any case	20
For such a charge, his snow upon the roof,
His icicles along the wall to keep;
And slept. The log that shifted with a jolt
Once in the stove, disturbed him and he shifted,
And eased his heavy breathing, but still slept.	25
One aged man—one man—can’t fill a house,
A farm, a countryside, or if he can,
It’s thus he does it of a winter night.

2008-11-24T11:15:00.002-08:00

http://www.canadianmennonite.org/vol12-2008/12-22/feature.php#article1

Lessons from the "Other side of the Bed"

2008-11-15T11:52:00.002-08:00

Over the past few weeks, I have learned what it is like to be IN the hospital bed, versus being caregiver to people in the hospital bed. I wasn't admitted, but I did spend a lot of time in ER, as an outpatient. The waiting is hard.

My husband is not good with the hospital experience -- people in the beds next to you , moaning and groaning, calling out for attention... being forced to wait for ... whatever. He coined it "hurry up and wait". The doctors did not like some of the test results I have had, and then call me up after I have just been there for 8 hours at work and then ask if it's too much of an inconvenience to come in so that they could see me. So I fed my husband supper and we went to the hospital yet again. Then we waited ... for an hour. Then a grumpy nurse took my vitals. Then another hour. A doctor finally showed up. Told me stuff that I didn't like. Told me to wait some more. Then sent me home at 1 in the morning telling me to go for more tests.

Then I was woken up first thing in the morning by a doctor on the phone telling me to come today. "Aren't you working anyhow? " (After getting home at 1 in the morning, I was sleeping. So no, I was not going to work. How was I expected to function and provide comfort and pastoral care to others when I needed some pastoral care myself?) So I went back in, they told me what the treatment plan is. And I agreed to do it. Even if it is just to get ALL of this over with.

Waiting for "whatever it is"... is hard. Being told things about your health that you don't want to hear is hard. Worrying about the worst case scenario is hard. What is worse? Knowing.. or not knowing. This is one of the lessons that I have learned about being a patient, versus caring for patients.

While waiting in various waiting areas of the hospital, it is interesting to see the types of cases that came in. People brought out in by ambulance drivers, head injuries, bleeding, people wanting pain control, homeless people, elderly, teenagers... all types of people with different cases trying to get help for whatever it is that ails them. Some get help in a timely manner, while others seem to sit and wait a long time. Based on what I saw, my issue was minor and while I hate being a patient and feared being admitted to my own hospital, I sure didn't want to be in the shoes of those I saw in the waiting room either.

Waiting... why is it so hard to do?

2008-11-02T10:41:00.003-08:00

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

This is what I remember when I think of "waiting". I remember a sermon that I preached about this passage, with the main theme being that there is a difference between waiting for something, and waiting on the LORD. It is hard to wait for something, especially when you don't know what you are waiting for, or when you have no definitive date.

This week, I have learned the lesson of waiting, but unlike my patients I have been waiting at home. Not in a hospital. I still have some freedom to eat what I like, to sleep in my own bed, to go to the store should I need/want to, spend time with my husband.

I don't know that I'm going to like what I'm told when the waiting is done, but I will be glad that the wait is over and I can continue with my life.

Waiting is hard. Especially when you don't know what you are waiting for. Something, ANY thing, movement would be good. That is something my patients tell me. You don't like where you are and hope that when the time comes that what you have been waiting for will improve your life, instead of alter it drastically. I just hope that I have learned something good from all this waiting, that will benefit my time with my patients later.

Death of a Dream

2008-10-27T16:24:00.004-07:00

Dreams are the things that hopes are made of .. or is it hope is the thing that dreams are made of. Either way, when a dream dies, it is hard to deal with that reality. Sometimes our dreams are the things that we used as a guideline, a goal that we were shooting for. Sometimes our dreams are unrealistic and hence unrealized..

When a person realizes that the dream that they sought and had put so much into is gone.. it is hard to get over.

Dreams are funny things. Some of them are attainable, but not meant for this time or place in our lives, while others die so that new ones can surface. And still others should never be....

Dreams encapulate our hopes. Hope is a good thing. It helps us to look to the future and focus on what we want out of life. It gives us a positive view of the world and the things that are in it.. but hope is also aware that not everything is rosy.. that not everything is perfect. No .. hope does not deny the evil the world, but works to move us beyond it. There is a quote that I have found about this.. I will have to add it later.

Still it is hard to move when we realize the death of a dream for whatever reason it dies. It is then our task to figure out how to move on, and find the dream/hope that best fits the place where we are.

Charity .. what is it really?

2008-10-26T13:13:00.002-07:00

char⋅i⋅ty

–noun, plural -ties.

1.	generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless: to devote one's life to charity.

2.	something given to a person or persons in need; alms: She asked for work, not charity.

3.	a charitable act or work.

4.	a charitable fund, foundation, or institution: He left his estate to a charity.

5.	benevolent feeling, esp. toward those in need or in disfavor: She looked so poor that we fed her out of charity.

6.	leniency in judging others; forbearance: She was inclined to view our selfish behavior with charity.

7.	Christian love; agape.

"charity." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 26 Oct. 2008. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/charity>.

For a month, I was helping with a project at work. Twice a year at work, our organization distributes food and clothing to the needy population of town. We request that people bring us seasonal clothes, toiletries, new socks, new underwear, blankets and shoes. This fall, we were collecting items for the cold weather.

I am amazed that people would give us their old, USED underwear, USED socks, and summery clothes. Most of the items, such as the used items, went in the garbage, while the summery things were boxed up for the next clothing drive, usually for April.
What are people thinking? They give us DIRTY, STAINED clothes, because they are either too lazy to throw them out or too lazy to wash them.

This is the second year I have helped with this effort. This year we had 4 categories of clothes; 1. garbage (not applicable or suitable for ANYthing), 2. the thrift store (our organization has a thrift store now. Some people were giving purses, high heel shoes, sequined tops,. good for someone but not for this particular project). 3. Project: what we were really looking for, 4. Clothing Depot: in one of our sites, we have a clothing depot where staff look for items for patients. These items are meant for patients who need something to go home in. Doesn't have to look like a total smart outfit, but it has to be functional and fit. Often patients come in with the clothes on their back, which must get cut off of them or thrown out, or the person has swelling and is not able to fit their shoes, pants, etc that they came in with.

I know that one man's junk is another man treasure. But charity is about giving to those in need and giving out of love and caring. Some of these acts seem to say that they don't care, the person just wanted to dump their closet contents. Since these people are in need, they'll be happy with anything. What about dignity people? What about tact? We are taught in our Holy writings to share with the poor and to give of the heart. Some of these acts, while well meaning, don't seem to show that people think with their heart or their head.

Memorable but oh so wrong..

2008-10-18T13:52:00.001-07:00

I never want this to happen at any wedding I officiate...

Worst Best Man Ever @ Yahoo! Video

Notice, BOTH the bride and the minister end up getting hit!!

A Psalm for what has been Lost

2008-10-04T15:54:00.006-07:00

One day at work, we were asked to write our own psalm. The following is about dementia and based on Psalms 30, " Joy comes in the morning" and a line from Anne of Green Gables, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.”

A Psalm for What has been Lost.

Cry to the LORD for what has been lost
I cry to the earth in the sweet dew of morning
Fresh and new I see
Erased are the errors of yesterday
Erased are the mistakes and pain of yesterday
Starting new and fresh each day – full of hope,
Anxious to see what this day shall bring.

I cry to the LORD for what has been lost
Gone are the times of innocence and play.
Gone is my childhood.
Gone is my heart full of naivety
Gone is the security of his loving arms.

But fresh are the memories … the memories… do they stay?

Gone are the memories of yesterday – the joy of gatherings, the security of loving space.
Gone is the ability to recall the past, full of joy, full of life & light
Gone is the life with the man I once knew.

Fresh each morning I start the day
Gone are the faces I once loved and trusted

Fresh each morning are the hopes and fears – fears of knowing there is something I have forgotten, fear of remembering …
only to loose it the moment that it comes.

I cry to the Earth for the memories given through sight, smell and sound.
I know I have been here before.

I cry to the LORD for that which has been lost, …
Am loosing…
Is going…

Fresh each morning I start the day.
Gone is my pain, my trials, my memories…
Gone is the fear of knowing what is to come.

Now is the Strength that I have from You.

Fresh comes the morning, fresh comes the fear of what is to come .. but only for a moment.. It is death. She waits…

Fading memories bring times of anguish and frustration
The word that is gone from my tongue… I knew it once.
The face that I see.. the name that is lost deep in my heart.

I cry to the LORD for that which is lost
I hope for the morning – fresh each day is the hope.
LORD be with me I pray.

Of all the things that I have lost,
Your presence remains.

Helping people who don't really want help

2008-08-06T22:08:00.002-07:00

This will likely be perceived as a rant. It is more of a comment about some of the people I have met in the course of my work. (Mind you if I think about it, I am probably thought of the same way by the diet centre that I go to.)

Lately, I have been frustrated by people who say they want your help. They say "I need A". You say, I can't give you A exactly, but I can give you "a". They say no, I want it this way.

or.. They say I need help. We (medical team) tell them to improve health do this. They say ok!! and don't do it. And then later say that we didn't do anything to help them. It seems that there are 2 issues here with this.

1. A saying that is taken from my years of Psychology training, "You can't help people unless they want to be helped." You can't "fix" anyone, or assist people in self-improvement unless they are willing to change.

2. Some people want to change, but find it difficult to do the work. (Me as example with diet centre. It IS too hard. I know what I have to do and I want to, but the choices get boring. and I don't really have time to plan ahead... excuses excuses.) So some people want the "instant coffee" or "fast food" result. This means they say "this is my order" and it's given to them. Someone else does the work. And then they eat the junk food and wonder why things aren't working the way that they thought.

I empathize both of these types of people. Mostly the 2nd. It IS hard to change. It is hard to be sick and to feel like doing work when we are sick, physically or emotionally, or otherwise. It is hard to maintain the determination that is needed to get the results that we desire. And in some cases, try as we might we have to accept the fact that for all the effort we put in, things will not or CAN not go back to how it was. Life has changed in either the circumstances, or we have been changed in the process. We aren't the people we were when we started this journey and in some cases, thank God for that. Hopefully we are better people for it.

There are those who try and try to improve themselves, their emotional, intellectual or physical status, but in some area or another are hit time and time again with the difficulties of life, be it illness, (multiple factors), financial or just life's circumstances.

Still there are those who are stuck and want to get out of the hole, but aren't able to find the energy or the ability to get out of it. Then there are those who want to stay in the hole while thinking they are entitled to more, but not wishing to earn things.

It is difficult to discern who is which person, and to see the blind spot in our lives. It is also difficult to point this out to others. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, to make someone angry at something that isn't my fault even though I am just telling the truth... shoot the messenger syndrome. I hate it, and I try to avoid it when possible.

These people are my clients, friends or associates, either way, it is hard to see this happen and feel powerless to "help" those who say they want it.

Dark Night of the Soul -- one comment

2008-07-25T20:51:00.003-07:00

This is the Song "Dark Side of the Soul" adapted for music by Loreena McKennitt from the poem "Dark Night of the Soul" by John of the Cross.

Upon a darkened night
The flame of love was burning in my breast
And by a lantern bright
I fled my house while all in quiet rest

Shrouded by the night
And by the secret stair I quickly fled
The veil concealed my eyes
While all within lay quiet as the dead.

(Chorus)

O, night thou was my guide!
O, night more loving than the rising sun!
O, night that joined the Lover to the beloved one!
Transforming each of them into the other.

Upon that misty night
In secrecy beyond such mortal sight
Without a guide or light
Than that which burned as deeply in my heart.

That fire 'twas led me on
And shone more bright than of the midday sun
To where He waited still
It was a place where no one else could come.

(Chorus)

Within my pounding heart
Which kept itself entirely for Him
He fell into His sleep
beneath the cedars all my love I gave.

From o'er the fortress walls
The wind would brush His hair against His brow
And with its smoother hand
caressed my every sense it would allow.

(Chorus)

I lost my self to Him
And laid my face upon my Lover's breast
And care and grief grew dim
As in the morning's mist became the light.
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair.
*Arranged and adapted by Loreena McKennitt, 1993

The poem by John of the Cross was written in the mid 1500's. It describes the journey of the soul returning to God. It talks about the difficulties of the journey to separate from this world to focus on union with the Creator. The main idea is that life, and the spiritual life, is a journey with hardships along the way, but that we grow and gain maturity and insight from our times of struggle and despair as well as the times of success and joy. The poem's author later wrote a book/commentary of the same name detailing the interpretation of the poem verse by verse.

My understanding of the term "Dark night of the soul" is that is the the time of darkness when we, or our souls, feel cut off from God, in our spiritual life. It is when we feel fartherest away from God or disconnected. Irony is that this is a part of the journey, painful though it be. Often this stage or experience can be understand or is described as depression. Spiritual depression, I think, is different from clinical depression. (Many people often neglect the idea of spiritual injury. But it is real.) Native peoples, also called First Nations, understand the spiritual world and hence understand there is a connection between physical and spiritual injury. When I was visiting with an Aboriginal woman a few years ago, she explained to me the belief that there are often spiritual symptoms of an illness. It was no surprise to me to be having that conversation, as there have been numerous studies discussing the mind/body connection. It was a refreshing to be having the conversation with a spiritual perspective. Initiated by someone else!!

I have often struggled with what I will call depression. It is not clinical depression, but more of a "down mood, or feeling down". It is brought on by different aspects of life; bad day, stress, various elements collide. It usually doesn't last, but it does affect my interaction with other people, and obviously my work. (as that is a large part of my job, to interact with other people. To meet them in the time and place where they are, not the other way around. Sometimes, to bring them into my world may not be a healthy thing for either of us...)

I have often been aware of the connection between spiritual life/journey, and my mood. It is interesting to note, but at times difficult to get through. Perhaps the depressions have to do with expectations about how "things should be". This afternoon, one of my colleagues commented on a newspaper article about a woman who started a business as a result of a family problem. Her daughter was an Olympic swimmer who had a hard time finding a suit to fit. After the Olympics were over, the mother and daughter formed a company that is now globally known. The comment was that "people have a messed idea of what being successful is. You don't need to be making millions to be successful." Our conversation then was a discussion of what success means. When one's goals are unattained, this frustrates us and causes stress. But the question is "is our goal realistic, or is our methodology faulty?" Maybe this is where the Dark Night of the Soul comes in. Maybe we have an unrealistic idea of what life is supposed to look like, what our life is supposed to be with God. Often when people suffer, they ask "why? Why God? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Am I being punished?" and this often drives people away from God because they might not have a strong foundation or faith/understanding of God's plan/motivation for us. Perhaps we have an unrealistic expectation or picture of what life with God is supposed to look like. This might cause a Dark Night. Things aren't going the way that we think, and we get frustrated and depressed. Hopefully the darkness does not stay too long, hopefully we are strong enough to continue the journey. Not to abandon the spiritual path to a deeper understanding of God. Still thinking on this subject.

Nouwen and the Birds...

2008-07-24T23:01:00.003-07:00

Excerpt from "Seeds of Hope: A Nouwen Reader". Chapter entitled "Celebrating Humanness"

the Birds and I Genesse Abbey, June 13, 1974

This morning, Father John explained to me that the killdeer is a bird that fools you by simulating injury to pull attention away from her eggs which she lays openly on a sandy place. Beautiful! Neurosis as a weapon! How often I have asked pity for an unreal problem in order to pull people's attention away from what I didn't want them to see.

Sometimes it seems that every bird has institutionalized every one of my defense mechanisms. The cowbird lays her eggs in some other bird's nest to let them do the brooding job, the Baltimore oriole imitates the sound of more dangerous birds to keep the enemies away, and the redwing blackbird keeps screaming so loud over head that you get tired of her noise and soon leave the area that she considers hers. It does not take long to realize that I do all of that and a lot more to protect myself or to get my own will done. Genesse Diary

I find this to be an interesting commentary on people and the defense mechanisms we use. Often we want something done, but we aren't willing to do the work to get there. Or in the case of some patients I have met, they do not or are not able to take responsibility for their own actions. The illness is the result of someone or something else. That may be true, but in the meantime, this is where we are... let's work with that. Blaming someone else for our problems and trying to figure out why or how, sometimes this doesn't help us at all. We end up wallowing in our own misery and at times, this exasperates the situation (and the other people around who are trying to help.) I have a few patients who are "labelled" (for lack of a better word) as "non compliant". This means that they have come to our hospital saying "I need help. Please help me to fix this issue." But when told a treatment plan or when the "plan" doesn't fit their criteria, they don't follow the "prescription". They want help, but not in the way that we have to offer it. Very frustrating at times.

The complication is that often the non-compliance is a result of denial or non-acceptance of the situation that they are in. True. Some times we will wallow in our misery and pain. True, sometimes this is warranted. However in the case of a health issue, this may not be good. Rather time is not always afforded to allow the person to process at their speed.

This afternoon, I was talking to 2 family members of a "new" patient. *New to me* One I had met a few times before, and so we had a good rapport. They had worked in the health care field and hence had some understanding of the kind of issues that occur from non-compliance. The other person, I had only met this afternoon. They didn't come to the hospital very much as per the non-compliance being a large part of a relationship dynamic causing frustration and burnout for this individual. They mentioned that when the patient smartens up (my words) and gets a transplant then maybe they will stop whining about their problems and life will go back to the way it was. The health care knowledgeable family and I explained this person that getting a transplant is not like waving a magic wand. Instead, it is a means to living longer (temporarily) just as certain medications and treatments were. Kidney disease can be chronic, and when it is, it can be considered terminal at times. Freud said that from the moment we are born, we begin to die. This is a fact that we all must face, just some people must face it sooner. That can be a factor of the non-compliance. They aren't ready to consider death as a possibility. It would likely overwhelm and cause depression. "Why bother to live for today if I might die tomorrow?" But then we might all think that eh?

The birds and their "defense" mechanisms. Sometimes, people use these defense strategies so that people don't see the thing the birds are trying to hide. Sometime we people are the birds. We are trying to distract our fellow cronies from seeing the flaws, our perceived failures, and other times, we are trying to distract ourselves from seeing our own flaws and perceived failures. It is too overwhelming at times. Sometimes these "defense mechanisms" are warranted, but to persist too long can damage our emotional and spiritual health.

2008-07-12T15:24:00.002-07:00

Magnetic Poetry

2008-07-10T16:02:00.005-07:00

A few months ago, I bought a magnetic poetry kit for something silly in the office. I put a few of the words on the fridge in our staff room and added to it as time went on. Today I finished putting all of the words on there. This is what it looks like at present. Every so often I mess it up and people start all over. The person who wrote the "sometimes I wonder if there is a puppy in all this fluff" complained that the workds were limiting as his comment was "do you think that I wanted to ask if there was a puppy in fluff?"

Conversation in my staff/lunch room the other day

2008-07-10T09:56:00.001-07:00

Male colleague addressing 3 of us in the lunch room.

"Why can't men wear shorts here at work?"

(Pause) No seemed to be saying anything and I was in a quirky mood.

Me: "Because some men have chicken legs and no one wants to see that."

Him: " But women wear skirts here."
Me: "Yes but they also tend to shave their legs." (Pause) "Mind you, there are some women who shouldn't wear short skirts either."

And then the conversation with the other 2 men present involved suggestions of wearing kilts... and I left it alone.

Headline #3 of the Day

2008-07-03T23:16:00.002-07:00

Dad denied bereavement leave after baby's death

Gerry Bellett, Vancovuer Sun, Thursday July 3

ertz Canada Ltd. has failed to persuade the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal to dismiss a complaint by an employee who claims he was denied bereavement leave from his job at Vancouver International Airport to deal with the death of his prematurely born daughter.

The car rental company is also being sued by the employee, Ali Mahdi, for religious discrimination by deducting pay for the time he spends praying each day to practise his Muslim faith.

Hertz applied to have both complaints dismissed by the tribunal, but member Tonie Beharrell said the company didn't provide grounds to show why either complaint shouldn't be considered.

According to Mahdi, his wife gave birth to a baby girl at 21 weeks of gestation in March, 2007, but the baby died the same day.

When he asked for bereavement leave, he was told he was ineligible because the child was stillborn and would have had to live longer than 24 hours for him to receive a leave.

Beharrell said there was a dispute between the parties over whether the child was stillborn or had survived birth only to die later.

The company had argued that a stillborn child "is not a child for the purposes of bereavement leave," so Mahdi was not granted leave.

As for the claims of religious discrimination, Mahdi is required to pray five times a day at times that vary during the year and which sometimes require him to pray while at work.

While the parties disagreed about how much time Mahdi spends at prayer while at work, they agreed that the punch-clock indicates he takes four minutes a day.

Accordingly, the company has been deducting 20 minutes pay per week from Mahdi's wages.

The company claims it has accommodated his need to pray and that it would constitute undue hardship to have to pay him for time not spent working.

Mahdi argued that other employees absent from work for similar periods were not docked pay.

Beharrell ruled that the dispute would go before the tribunal to be settled.

I pointed this article out to a colleague. He and I agreed that grief is grief regardless of whether this was a still born or whether the baby lived a few hours before death. The end result is a loss for both the mother and father. Grief isn't always about physical death, but in this case it was also the death of a dream and the hopes and plans that these parents had. My colleague and I talked about the seeming injustice presented in the article in that the company refused to acknowledge this man's grief. Despite the fact that the child did not live long enough to form a bond with the parents, there was still a relationship that was lost. This is to be acknowledged.

This article also screams injustice at punishing a man for practicing his faith on "company time". All employees are entitled to breaks, paid or not.

More Headlines..

2008-07-03T22:24:00.003-07:00

Academic freedom and assisted suicide

This instructor wants to witness assisted suicide for his research. A fight is brewing over his right to do that.

Douglas Todd, Vancouver Sun, Thursday, July 3, 2008

Canada's university professors are preparing to defend the right of a Metro Vancouver researcher to witness illegal assisted suicides in the name of increasing understanding of the right-to-die movement.

The Canadian Association of University Teachers (CAUT) has formed a high-level committee to investigate claims that Kwantlen Polytechnic University sociologist Russel Ogden was unjustly denied the chance to research new techniques for assisted suicide.

"In the face of it, it looks as if there has been a violation of academic freedom," James Turk, executive director of the CAUT, said Wednesday in an interview from Ottawa.

The CAUT has formed what Turk call a "blue-ribbon committee" to look into why the Kwantlen administration is effectively blocking Ogden from researching assisted suicides, even after the university-college's ethics committee approved his research three years ago.

For more than 14 years, Ogden has engaged in controversial and ground-breaking research into scores of underground assisted suicides (often known as "Nu Tech deathing") by people dealing with AIDS, cancer and other terminal illnesses.

Ogden has frequently run into opposition from university administrators who fear their institutions could wind up in trouble for allowing him to possibly skirt the edges of the law.

In 2003, Ogden was awarded $143,000 in damages after it was determined that Britain's Exeter University had illicitly backed out of an agreement to protect the identities of scores of people Ogden found had taken part in illegal assisted suicides.

More recently, Ogden has discovered that more than 19 British Columbians have committed suicide through an increasingly widespread technique known as "helium in a bag."

Helium is seen as a swift, highly lethal and painless way to die without involving physicians or drugs. Helium is also nearly undetectable in toxicological probes.

The latest confrontation over Ogden's pioneering research techniques has arisen at the same time that assisted suicide has become big news in Washington state. Former Democratic governor Booth Gardner, who struggles with Parkinson's disease, is campaigning for a November ballot initiative on doctor-assisted euthanasia, which will go ahead if state supporters gather 225,000 signatures by today.

However, the CAUT worries that Ogden is being blocked from continuing legitimate research into the right-to-die movement by Kwantlen officials.

Despite receiving earlier ethics board approval, Ogden has since been told by Kwantlen's administration he cannot "engage in any illegal activity, including attending at an assisted death," says a CAUT letter written by Turk, which was addressed to eight academics and administrators. A copy was obtained by The Vancouver Sun.

Neither Ogden nor Kwantlen officials were available for comment Wednesday.

The CAUT's Turk maintains that, although assisted suicide is illegal in Canada (unlike in the state of Oregon, as well as the countries of Switzerland, Belgium and the Netherlands), it is neither illegal to commit suicide nor against the law to witness an assisted death in this country.

"Witnessing an illegal act, such as a husband murdering his wife, is not illegal behaviour on your part," Turk said.

Therefore, Turk said, it would not be illegal for Ogden to witness an assisted suicide, since he would be neither discouraging nor encouraging it.

It's important, Turk said, for academic researchers to be given the freedom to try to "understand politically unpopular behaviour." Even while a Canwest poll last year showed three-quarters of Canadians approve of assisted suicide, compared to 48 per cent of Americans, Turk said researchers like Ogden are being held back by university administrators "who might think the [federal] government is going to get mad at them."

The high-level CAUT committee that will review Ogden's case and issue its findings in a few months includes Kevin Haggerty, a sociologist at the University of Alberta; John McLaren, professor emeritus of law at the University of Victoria; and Lorraine Weir, an English professor at the University of B.C.

dtodd@png.canwest.com

The subject of euthanasia or assisted suicide is rift with controversy. The two sides would basically be Side one: All life is sacred. No one has the right to take the life of another regardless of the situation. All life is worthwhile, no one but G_d can determine its end. (This is usually backed by theological argument such as 10 commandments such as "thou shalt not kill" and others.)

Side 2 looks at the "right to choose" and is related to the experience of suffering, and the definition of "quality of life". Watching someone who is ill, who has constant pain and is able to do little more than lie in bed, may be alive by the aid of machines -- the definition of "quality of life" is subjective to the individual's experience. I had seen both sides as part of my work in health care chaplaincy. I have seen the family called to the bedside and told that this would be it, only to see the miracle of the patient to rally and continue living months or years more. I have also seen patients who are able to do little more than lie in bed, dependent on painkillers and oxygen or a machine to survive. Working in renal, I have even had discussions with patients who decide to cease treatment for their kidney failure. Often they have told me that it is the pain, the decline in their health, and the cessation of their perceived quality of life. After making this decision, and going to 'comfort care only" (meaning pain control but no 'heroic measures such as CPR or tube feed') I have met with patients who continue to survive for days or weeks. Some have asked 'why can't I die? When will this end?' I once told a man that I didn't know. (Often patients 'declare themselves', meaning they stop being aware of the world and their systems start to shut down. The body doesn't need or take in food or drink, their responses cease, and they begin the process of detaching from the world as they start the journey towards death.) I told the man that perhaps he wasn't done yet, that there might be something he was still to accomplish. I asked him to consider if he had unfinished business, if he still had a lesson to learn, or perhaps that he was to teach us something. This was not something he had considered...

The choice to live or die... not an easy one to make.

In the same paper, I found an article decrying the choice to award an Order of Canada to Dr. Morgentaler. Dr. Henry Morgentaler is best known for performing abortions illegally.

"Morgentaler is known for almost single-handedly pushing abortion rights on to the national agenda when he opened an illegal abortion clinic in Montreal in 1969. At one point, he was jailed for 10 months when a lower court acquittal was overturned on appeal.

The issue culminated in a landmark ruling in January 1988, in which the Supreme Court struck down anti-abortion provisions of the Criminal Code on the grounds they violate a woman's constitutional right to "security of person." "Cassandra Drudi, Canwest News Service; With files from The Journal, National Post and Montreal Gazette Published: Wednesday, July 02

One side of the debate argues that giving him the order of Canada has been a long time in coming. He has fought for the rights of many women who had little or choice regarding unwanted pregnancies. The other side of the debate claims that he has chosen to act against morality, to "kill" or take a human life by aborting pregnancies.

It is easy to take sides when hearing a story. But it is difficult to know what we would want when it is our situation. I wonder how many people surprise themselves by chosing something that they swore they would never do. I remember when I used think more "black and white/right and wrong", in a box. People who smoked were bad, people who drank were bad, people who got divorced were wrong. In practicing theological reflection in my everyday work, I have changed some of my theology in the 17 years since I first started my theological training. I now think that divorce is not a "sin", but hope that it is the last resort. I would rather see 2 happy people apart, then 2 (or more as children and other family members are affected) unhappy people together. I would rather people learn to relate to one another and try to have dialogue rather than discriminate due to a difference of opinion about how to live, or what to think. I would rather see people who are able to respect the beliefs and customs of others, and in turn have their traditions respected and maybe enhanced due to the openness towards those things that are new, or "different" (i.e. weird, or not like us). I would rather see love, real love (not sexual but agape

In my work, it is my task as a chaplain to "come along side", to walk with the person in their journey as a support for them in their times of health and/or other difficulties. To remind them by my presence that God is present in the midst of their struggles and seeming chaos and that S/He does care. To do this, I provide a listening ear with no judgment about their choices. this is not always easy. I might personally think one thing, but do not express this to the person, as I do not know the life experiences and perspective that leads to this choice or stage of their living. The goal is to help them make choices that will honor the person that they are, to enhance their life experience, to meet the "person" that they are -- that God knows them to be. I really don't know until it is my situation and my story.

"The Debate"

2008-06-30T15:39:00.001-07:00

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.The rabbi pulled out an apple.With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins, and the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.
'I haven't a clue,' said the rabbi. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here. 'And then what?' asked a woman.'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

Irony is...

2008-06-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

Irony is stress caused by misplacing a book called " Stress, Loss and Grief".

I did find it, but after an exhaustive search in the "piles" on my desk...

"Spoon Theory"

2008-06-17T15:30:00.005-07:00

I have been cleaning off my desk and have found some interesting items that I meant-to-do-something-with-that-later but obviously didn't get to it.

My friend sent me a website link to the Spoon theory story. This talks about people who are ill, in particular, have Lupus, and helping someone "healthy" to understand the experience of chronic illness.

Good news item

2008-06-17T15:26:00.001-07:00

http://vancouver.24hrs.ca/News/2008/06/17/5899661-sun.html

This is a feel good story. Some would say a miracle. Gives you faith in humanity again.

Giving binners a good name By LUCY GOTELL, 24 HOURS
As an out-of-work actress, Vanessa Burns doesn't have a lot of extra cash. But she's willing to spare some for the man who did her a good deed when she was at her lowest - if she can find him.
After going out with some friends last weekend, Vanessa - who left her home in Toronto three months ago to find work here in Vancouver - woke up Sunday to find her wallet missing.
"I was devastated. I was really upset because I really missed my husband at home and my family," said Burns. "When that happened, it just really made me homesick."
Distraught, Vanessa called her credit-card company and was told someone had charged a cab fare to her Visa.
A few hours later, though, Vanessa heard from an old roommate who said she'd received a phone call from a woman who had Vanessa's wallet.
"What happened was, when [the woman] was taking out her garbage yesterday morning, there was a homeless man who had found my wallet by the garbage and just said, 'Here, I found this, can you take it?'" Vanessa said.
Vanessa picked up her wallet later that day, and was shocked to find that, apart from her credit cards, all of her belongings were still inside.
"My health card, my SIN card, my bus pass ... this guy could have sold these things I'm sure, but he didn't," said Vanessa. "It's amazing to me that the person who initially used my credit card is probably the guy who has a decent apartment, a decent job and just wanted to have somebody else pay for his cab fare. But the guy who has nothing ... is the one who returned it."
Before Vanessa returns to Toronto she would like to meet the man who acted so selflessly.
"I feel like I'm very lucky and I just want to say thank you. Even if it's just buying him a decent meal I would love to do that."

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

2008-06-10T15:19:00.002-07:00

paraskevidekatriaphobia Quite the word eh?
From a 2007 article in the Vancouver Sun,

No, it's not a fear of long words -- it means being afraid of Friday the 13th

Nicholas Read
Vancouver Sun
Friday, April 13, 2007

It's a word we in the media like to trot out today: paraskevidekatriaphobia [pronounced pair-uh-skee-vee-dek-uh-tree-uh-FOH-bee-uh] -- the excessive, and sometimes morbid fear of Friday the 13th.
We like it, first, because it's such an impressive-sounding word -- it takes some doing to make all those syllables trip elegantly off the tongue -- and second, because irrational though the fear of a calendar date might sound, it is a bona fide phobia nonetheless, just like ablutophobia, the fear of washing or bathing, lachanophobia, the fear of vegetables, and soceraphobia, the fear of one's parents-in-law.
However, because "irrational" is a word that implies judgment, it's not a word used by professionals who treat phobias. (Especially, they add, given that some phobias can make sense. Think, for example, how valuable a fear of snakes and scorpions was in hunter/gatherer times when one misplaced step could mean death.) What matters to them is whether the phobia, rational or not, impedes the sufferer's ability to live normally.
"If someone is afraid of snakes, and he lives in Ireland where there are no snakes, it's not very serious," says Dr. Mark Watling, a psychiatrist and author, with psychologist Martin Antony, of the book, Overcoming Medical Phobias: How to Conquer Fear of Blood, Needles, Doctors and Dentists. But if you're a diabetic with a debilitating fear of needles, you're in trouble. You're not alone.
Watling, who practises out of the Anxiety Treatment and Research Centre in Hamilton, estimates as many as 13 per cent of people have, to some extent, a fear of things medical.
Sometimes that fear will be so pronounced it will result in panic attacks, and for people with a serious medical condition, that, literally, could be a matter of life and death.
"Certainly there are people who are so afraid of needles that they will put off getting blood work that needs to be done," Watling said in an interview. "But it's when they reach a point like that in their lives that they come to our clinic."
Why such phobias develop is a matter of debate. Genetics is sometimes thought to be partly responsible -- think of those atavistic fears of snakes and spiders -- though it's not clear how much of a fear is inherited and how much is learned. More likely most phobias are born of accidentally associating something otherwise benign with something unpleasant.
Maybe, says Watling, a person's first immunization was terribly painful. Or maybe a person's parents are afraid of needles, so the fear will be exaggerated in the child. It's really hard to say, he adds. No one can draw a definitive conclusion.
Certainly Julianne Lee, a kindergarten teacher in south Surrey, has no explanation for her fear of rats and mice; she just knows she's terrified of them.
"It started when I was 12," she says. "I went blackberry picking in Steveston in Richmond and I stepped on a piece of wood and out came this rodent. I think it was a rat or a mouse. And as soon as I saw it, I remember not being able to breathe, and screaming and screaming like the world was closing in."
And she still feels that way to this day.
If one of her three children ever were to bring home a rat or mouse, she doesn't know what she'd do.
"If they ever touched a mouse or a rat, I think I would be hysterical," she says.
If she were invited to dinner at the home of someone who kept a mouse as a pet, she wouldn't go. She'd never stay in a youth hostel because in her mind they're breeding grounds for mice, and she won't ever set foot in Stanley Park's petting zoo. Never.
"I'd rather be in a room with 10 snakes than one mouse," is how she puts it.
Curiously, when Jerilyn Ross, now a clinical social worker in Washington, D.C. and the CEO of the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, developed her fear of heights, it was on one of the most magical nights of her life.
She was in her 20s, in Salzburg during the Mozart Festival, and she was dancing "with a Prince Charming" on a verandah overlooking the city, which that night was bathed in a kind of fairytale glow.
"I remember dancing and thinking 'what an extraordinary night'," she recalls 30 years later. "And then all of a sudden out of the blue I had this sensation that something would happen to me -- that I was going to be pulled over the edge or pushed over or something."
Perhaps, she now says with the cool clarity of someone who's studied phobias, it was the extreme emotional intensity of the experience -- the twinkling lights, the glorious music, the handsome partner -- that triggered what would become an affliction lasting years. She can't honestly say.
What she can say is that for almost four years, before she finally sought help for it, it affected every aspect of her life. It prevented her from seeking a better job -- she was afraid the interviews might take place in a skyscraper (a good bet since she lived in New York) -- and accepting all kinds of invitations for the same reason.
"My fear was that I was going to lose control -- to run to a window and do something crazy. Since then I've learned it was a misfiring of my body's fight-or-flight response."
What saved her -- indeed what saves most people affected by a phobia, regardless of its genesis -- is something called exposure therapy, a kind of psychological immunization that, like using allergens to treat allergies, uses the very thing the person is afraid of to help him or her get over it. In other words, to face one's fear head-on, but in a gradual, controlled and above all, safe environment.
For Ross, that meant going with her therapist to the sixth floor of a building one week, to the seventh the next, and to the eighth the week after that. Each time she would be afraid, she recalls, but each time -- with time -- she would learn to manage and control that fear and move on it from it.
It took months of practice, but she finally beat the phobia altogether. Recently, she and her husband bought a condo in Florida with floor-to-ceiling windows on the 16th floor.
What's important, says Steve Taylor, a psychologist practising out of the University of B.C.'s psychiatry department, is that the therapy be done slowly, methodically and preferably under the care of someone who really knows what he's doing.
"You can try it to do it on your own," he says, "but it's best to do it gradually. Too often people with phobias will try and push themselves too hard."
No matter the source of the phobia -- rats, cats, dinner conversation (deipnophobia), music (melophobia), or the colour purple (porphyrophobia) -- the idea is to expose the sufferer to it steadily and gradually to the point that eventually the phobia is all but wiped out or at least endurable.
For example, while he was still practising in Australia, Taylor once had a patient so afraid of spiders that simply seeing a picture of a dot with eight radiating strokes around it caused her panic. But at the end of a course of exposure therapy, she was a different woman -- "going out and catching them in a jar and then having them run across the floor in front of her," Taylor recalls.
For cases of certain kinds of social phobias -- that is, the fear of being in situations where one is under the scrutiny of others -- dating, job interviews and suchlike -- sometimes the same kinds of drugs used to treat depression will be used to treat the phobia, he says.
"Nobody knows for sure why they work," he adds, "but serotonin is thought to play a role in regulating emotions, and it's thought that somehow this neurotransmitter is de-regulated in people who develop a social phobia."
Sometimes, says Watling, something called "flooding" is tried as well. "This is exposing you to your worst-case scenario right off the bat," he explains.
In other words, this would involve, say, placing someone with a fear of cats in a crowded cat shelter. Needless to say, it's a drastic measure that is never prescribed lightly.
"It can be effective sometimes," Watling says, "but it's not effective if you scare the person out of ever having treatment again."
That's why for most people, he, Taylor and Ross concur, a gradual introduction to whatever it is that's prompting the fear is the best way.
In fact, for about 95 per cent of people who seek relief from their phobias, that kind of easy-as-you-go approach will do the trick."The exposures are designed to induce a manageable amount of anxiety -- nothing is supposed to be a surprise," Watling said.

If I had my life to live over

2008-06-08T13:17:00.003-07:00

Found this in my collection of various "inspirational" items.....

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
- by Erma Bombeck
(Written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's'; more 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what!

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

God needs an image makeover... article

2008-06-01T22:39:00.001-07:00

This is an interesting article I found in a newspaper.

The many names (and images) of god

Douglas Todd

Vancouver Sun

Saturday, May 31, 2008

God needs an image makeover -- and there's no better place to start than with God's name.

Whenever someone mentions "God" in Canada, conversations crash to a halt. Everyone gets nervous. And it's not just from Canadian politeness.

It's because most people mistakenly think they know what the other is talking about when they say "God." Typically, they assume the "God" in question is a stern, patriarchal monarch in the sky.

Most Canadians, whether they consider themselves religious or not, seem stuck with the limited picture of God they had when they were early teenagers dropping out of church, synagogue, mosque or temple.

However, the concept of "God" is endlessly complex and nuanced and divinity deserves a more thoughtful name, or names.

"God" is an exaggerrated version of words such as "love," "truth," "spirituality" and "post-modern;" that is, "God" is a rich and contentious word, laden with multiple meanings.

We need to use fresher names for God. Just as people change their names to highlight different aspects of themselves -- such as when hard-driving "Priscilla" becomes more masculine "Kerry" or aboriginal "Jim George" becomes "Thundercloud" -- different names for "God" highlight different divine identities.

Through history there have been hundreds of names for "God."

Some half-decent contemporary names are "the divine," "spirit," "the holy," "the one," "the transcendent" and "the sacred" (all of which can be capitalized, depending on preference.)

The process of rebranding "God" brings to mind how Muslims long ago developed 99 "beautiful" names for "God" (or "Allah" (in Arabic) to capture the full glory and wonder of the transcendent.

I'd guess many Canadians stereotype Muslims as thinking about God mainly as a tough, vengeful dictator. But some of the 99 names for God include "The Compassionate," "The Pardoner," "The Majestic," "The Bountiful," "The Watchful," "The Wise," "The Giver of Life," "The Hidden," "The Unifier" and "The Light."

Jews have found a good way to deal with the unfortunate misunderstandings that can come from the name, "God:" Many choose simply not to use the word. Instead, they'll write "G-d."

This is a useful and humble approach, which reminds me of how U.S. geochemist Rustom Roy called for the complete eradication of the word God. He suggested integrating science and religion and replacing the word God with ****, which to him denotes the "cloud of essence."

At the same time, Jews also developed dozens of names for God in the Hebrew Bible (which Christians know as the Old Testament), including "Adonai," "Elohim," "El Shaddai" and, intriguingly, "I am what I am becoming."

In medieval times some Jews cleverly called God "The Seven," combining seven titles for the deity in one.

Although the Catholic and Protestant churches have for centuries tended to stress "Lord," "Almighty" and "Father" as names for God, Jesus and his followers adopted many others.

Influenced by Jewish and Greek tradition, their names for God included "Creator," "the Mountain," "Abba (daddy)," "the Word," "Logos," "Yahweh," "Sophia" and "the Light." Many Christians have recently been referring to God as "Redeemer" and "Sustainer."

As for Hindus, many name the supreme cosmic spirit as "Brahman." Others highlight personal manifestations of God in "Vishnu" or "Krishna."

Sikhs may speak of God as "Akal Purakh," meaning timeless primal being. In Chinese folk religion, God is often referred to as "Zhu" (Lord in Heaven) or "Shen" (spirit). Taoists talk about the ultimate as "the Tao" or "The Way."

Even Buddhists have something to say about divinity. Although most Theravadan Buddhists do not believe in a Creator, many Pure Land Buddhists give "Amithaba" eternal powers similar to those ascribed to God.

In the book, Philosophers Speak of God, edited by Charles Hartshorne and William Reese, philosophers reveal some of their many names for divinity -- including "elan vital (life force)," "the call forward," "divine intelligence," "the lure" and the "ordering principle."

All of which goes to show the name "God" is never to be taken for granted.

Next time someone drops the name into a conversation, pro or con, ask them which "God" they're talking about.

And don't let them off the hook by allowing them to argue "no one should try to define God because the transcendent is beyond full comprehension."

While it's true defining "God" will always be elusive and unprovable, it's a cop-out to not take a stab at it -- perhaps especially when someone is trying to reject belief in "God."

Asking people what they mean when they say "God" will put them on the spot and make them think, which is usually a good thing.

What's in a name? When it comes to "God," quite a lot.

To reach Douglas Todd, go to this blog at www.vancouversun.com/blogs

Bad Death

2008-05-31T17:55:00.002-07:00

From Plainviews a journal about pastoral care and practice within Canada.

Bad Death

I could have done without the juicy comments about your sex lives.
Please know that it has nothing to do with my role as chaplain.
On the other hand I liked seeing the greeting on your door:
“Religious people go away!” each time I arrived.

Looking at life through your grey-colored glasses
required all I had to give
And little of what I was trained to provide.
I was always on notice, on borrowed time, on Holy Ground.

You see I’m called to be with people I wouldn’t invite to dinner;
It’s my job to just show up for a conversation.
So we talked nothing of religion but lots culture:
New York, Cape Cod, Las Vegas, security detail and prize fights you worked,
anything but the estrangement you felt so deep in your bones.
You wanted it to end, and cleverly.

After my visits I smelled like a tavern.
It took a plentiful misting of Febreze
and a night hanging outside
to put my clothes right.
Residue of my time with you came out of pants and shirts
but not out of my mind and spirit.

You smoked like a machine, and smoked near one, too.
We both knew that it was reckless; O2 and white ash don’t mix.
Now your memory is part of me
Your burning house and then your legitimate cremation
Refining fires for my ministry of understanding.

Who would have thought final healing would cost so much?
Neither Saul nor Judas had it in them to choose ice or fire
But your goal may have been the same,
to end despair and sadness, the tragic cargo which can erode any
but the most stubborn embrace of gratitude, faith, hope.

I confess now that I wanted for you
a kind of reformation called “good” death
I may have let you down.
Sorry for getting religious.

Recently I had one of the toughest pastoral encounters of my ministry: the disturbing death of an at-home hospice patient. I’ve worked as a chaplain in many settings including an inner city ER, an industrial workplace and pediatric oncology. After this death, however, I found myself challenged by a series of feelings: distress, guilt, failure, and also longing.

I’d met with the hospice patient in his home for six months. “Mike” was outspoken in his distaste for religion and the people who speak of it. Nonetheless, he let me “in the door,” both literally and figuratively; our contact was weekly for the last six weeks before he died. He was an intriguing personality and younger than most hospice patients. More complex, too! Time with Mike was different than with many of the more routine patients on my census. He was a challenge to engage but over time we built trust. I looked forward to seeing him then and long to see him since his death. I wonder about Mike’s choices, his pain, and now, his peace. Whether his was an intentional or accidental death is very much a question in my mind. That is what prompts my feelings of distress, guilt, and failure. I think Mike’s was a “bad” death, but I am still processing this conclusion.

I want to know more about “bad” death. What is it exactly? Are there certain key components? Is there more than one kind of bad death (other than those ending in “cide”) and most importantly, what makes us think that our definition is accurate? Might the dying person (should he or she be able to tell us) have another view? The above poem was my attempt to get to the heart of my feelings on the matter. I am still unpacking the event and its poetic record. I want to balance my bias with some of the genuine affection and self-definition that were clearly part of our encounters.

I had an investment in promoting Mike’s “good” death. It wasn’t apparent just how much investment until after the fact. I hold out hope for and try to promote the best deaths that my patients and their circumstances allow. This is hardly unique; what’s more most of us have thought about what constitutes a “good” death. One of my colleagues speaks of a dying whereby a person leaves this world “at peace and in love.”[1] Hospice stresses the engagement of “the four things that matter most”[2] or a patient’s display of “final gifts”[3] as indicators of a better death. Recently I heard an artist who creates portraits of the dying refer to death as “the final healing.”[4] I like that. I hope I can muster such self-perception as I take my last breaths. But what constitutes a good death isn’t what interests me just now.

I’d be interested in hearing from my professional colleagues about their take on a so-called “bad”death. I’d like to put the following questions to PlainViews readers: If you have witnessed a “bad” death what did it look like and how did it leave you feeling? How clear are you in your distinctions of “bad” and “good” deaths? What are your projections and judgments, be they doctrinal, cultural or political? I look forward to your feedback as is convenient and HIPPA appropriate.

Footnotes:

[1] This phrase is courtesy of my friend and colleague, Tim Ledbetter, D. Min, BCC.

[2] Byock, Ira, The Four Things that Matter Most, proposes four areas of engagement between a patient and her/his loved ones that might ensure a good death: forgiveness (I forgive you, do you forgive me?), gratitude (thank you), affection (I love you) and farewell (good-bye)

[3] Callahan, Maggie and Kelley, Patricia, Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs and Communications of the Dying, suggests that a host of psychological, physical and metaphysical traits are exhibited by terminally ill patients in the weeks and days preceding death. While neither “good” or “bad” in nature these traits together constitute a “near death awareness,” (NDA) and perhaps a more predictable, less frightening death. (see www.bookrags.com/studyguide-final-gifts/)

Rev. Kirk M. Ruehl, BCC, is a chaplain with Hospice at the Chaplaincy in Kennewick, WA, where he has served for five years. Prior to this he was a chaplain at Deaconess Medical Center in Spokane, WA; Seamen's Church Institute in Port Newark, NJ and Eger Health Care Center in Staten Island, NY. He has a wife and two boys, enjoys poetry and hiking around the Northwest with the Boy Scouts.

I've always wondered....

2008-05-14T16:07:00.000-07:00

Pastoral Care at it's best?

2008-04-27T15:38:00.000-07:00

A key element of pastoral care is to "hear" what someone is saying.. that obviously didn't happen here. But then I suppose there are some days or situations when the focus is not there.

"No one dies from having their medication stopped"

2008-04-23T17:13:00.003-07:00

This is a comment overheard at rounds the other day. One doctor was counseling another about stopping a certian medication and then explained that during his rotation of training in England, that the chief doctor would get a referal and would review the chart and then immediately stop all medications. He would then say "let's come back tomorrow and see how they are doing". Usually the person was better the next day. The doctor went on to comment to the other that here in North America, we are fixated on medications. "When you call geriatrician over there, they stop meds, here they review the chart and probably add another one."

I wonder about this. Interesting comment that it is. There are some patients that benefit from certain drugs treatments but most would probably do fine without. Years ago, we didn't do so much treatment with drugs, (of course someone might argue that years ago, we didn't have the diseases that we do now.)

I thought it was an interesting comment on the evolution of healthcare.

Cracked Pot

2008-04-23T12:31:00.002-07:00

Someone sent me this in an email. I like it. It has a good message that we need to be reminded of from time to time.

Care of the Soul: Space in Between

End of an Era

The Fall from Grace?

Right drug, right reason

Update on life

Quote of the day

Lessons Learned... Advice from a fellow blogger

Poem for the day

Poem - Eulogy

Quote of the day

End times... 2 movies

oddities

Excerpt from book The Spiral Garden

Praying for a Miracle... waht we want vs. what we need

Care of Soul

Vancouver Sun Article by Douglas Todd December 21, 2009

Cleaning my computer files again...

Quote

What's on my Ipod Parting Glass.. (From movie Waking Ned Devine)

My first wedding

Photos from Tibetan Art

Tibetan Sacred Art Tour

Article of Interest... Three Clergymen, Three Faiths, One Friendship

Fighting for the Importance of Spiritual Health

Book recommendation

Ethics as presented on TV and the realism of such dilemma

One approach to rudeness....

Poem for the day

Poem

Scenes from Another World

November 7, 2009 event

Part 2 of article

Quote -- cleaning files from my desk

Column from Vancouver Sun

What do you do when you know your patient is going to die?

Thunderstorm...

Chaplaincy article

Paging God: Religion in the Halls of Medicine’

Chaplains play important roles in hospitals

Quotes

Spoon theory

Article for thought...

What Canadians think of Sikhs, Jews, Christians, Muslims . . .

Quote of the day

Makes Me Wonder...

From CBC news.. this past week..

Multi-donor, long-distance kidney swap a first in Canada

Last Updated: Thursday, June 25, 2009 | 6:30 PM ET Comments25Recommend63

CBC News

Good Samaritan

Thought for the day

Question to ponder

Mercies Anew

Putting a Face to Tragedy

Mike's journey ends in fatal misfortune

Spring Cleaning for (of) the Soul

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

World Kidney Day

PlainViews Article

Faith IQ??

Anti Bully Day AKA "Wear Pink Day"

In Times like these....

Warm Fuzzies

Art Show: Images of Hope

About Heavens

Poetry

Lessons from the "Other side of the Bed"

Waiting... why is it so hard to do?

Death of a Dream

Charity .. what is it really?

char⋅i⋅ty

Memorable but oh so wrong..

A Psalm for what has been Lost

Helping people who don't really want help

Dark Night of the Soul -- one comment

Nouwen and the Birds...

Magnetic Poetry

Conversation in my staff/lunch room the other day

Headline #3 of the Day

Last Updated: Thursday, June 25, 2009 | 6:30 PM ET Comments25 Recommend63