A house should be an expression of your soul, an extension of your personality

This article give an interesting idea.. that our home is to reflect our soul -- who we are -- is to be a place where we LIVE, versus show off.

Does your home reflect the way you live?

A house should be an expression of your soul, an extension of your personality

FRIDAY dec 21, 2007 -- Kelly Deck

I have a recurring dream: The world stops moving and everything freezes in time. Everyone but me disappears and, miraculously, I'm free to roam, home to home, revelling in the exploration of people and the spaces they create.

Now, ask yourself this: If I stole into your home, what would I learn about you? How would your home describe the way you live, the things you love? Is it a unique expression of you and your family? Dare I ask: Does it have soul?

Many homes do not. These days, the average interior is unfortunately (and unnecessarily) suburban -- that is, homogenous, bland and conservative.

So, at the risk of offending, let me describe to you what you probably think when you walk into one of these homes.

Hmmm, this is pretty good: glossy hardwood floors, warm neutral finishes and ivory crown mouldings. In the living room a beige sofa, chocolate leather chairs, a faux Persian rug, an ottoman, dark wood side tables, glass lamps and a silver fireplace mirror. Pale blue and green cushions.

"Hmm," you say to yourself. "Nice house."

Nice?

Nice is, at best, a middling virtue. But it's not wow! It's not ahhhhh or yummm, or anything else you'd say in a moment of ineffable appreciation. Nice is how you describe your best friend's plain boyfriend. Your home has more potential.

A house becomes a home when it's filled with authenticity, history and personality -- all of which are unique to you. Don't rush -- these qualities develop over time. The defining aspect of a home is that it's a work in progress. It's an entity that breathes and lives.

Remember also what a home is not: a showroom, a formula or a storehouse for items that signify status.

Let's start with the idea of authenticity. Ask yourself: How do I spend my time here? What hours of the day am I at home? What do I do in this time? What do I need to enjoy these tasks and experiences fully?

Me, I'm at home evenings and weekends. My days pulse with the lives and needs of clients and staff, and so, in my downtime, I require a quiet, restful retreat. I read, listen to music, and watch TV, so lots of comfortable seating is important. Most weekends, I have a friend or two over for dinner, and we never sit at a table.

For me, home means relaxation and ease. Nothing is precious: feet can rest anywhere, and no surface is inhospitable to a glass of wine. The informality of my home reflects one basic assumption: that my friends and our time together are more important than the items that occupy my space.

In contrast, I have many clients who love to formally entertain. These are people who have glamorous and sometimes extravagant tastes. They favour lacquered finishes, crystal chandeliers, and dramatic accessories. I revel in the play of designing for the privileged and their well-heeled needs, but their experience is distinct from my own.

Next, let's talk history. It's difficult for people to properly revere the historic in a country where few buildings are more than a hundred years old. I find our Western indifference to history disheartening. Culturally, we constantly pursue newness. Our homes are filled with the trendy, the poorly manufactured, and the designed-to-be-obsolete. As a result, our spaces often feel contrived and impersonal.

Don't get me wrong: We don't need to be neo-classicists. I love modern interiors. But people, places, and things have their own unique and intimate history, and a home should reflect that.

Incorporate family heirlooms or antiques into your furnishing plan. Paired with contemporary or mid-century modern furnishings, aged pieces can make a dynamic addition to the home. Consider painting or lacquering the pieces if their original finish lacks lustre.

The patina of weathered or distressed surfaces creates a reference to age and history, without the actual presence of them. Oxidized metal, chiselled stone, and earthenware ceramics are materials that bring sensuousness to any space.

Most importantly, look to your own history--to the objects you've saved, to the items you cherish and pack away. Is there a way to celebrate them in your home? Such items create a connection between you and your home. They're wonderful pieces upon which to build collections or create decorative vignettes.

This brings me to my final point: personality.

What is your favourite item of clothing? What colour do you like best? What is your favourite food, wine, or dessert? Where have you travelled? Why did you go? What is your most cherished memory? At what time of year do you feel most alive?

In creating a space that's an authentic expression of you, these are not arbitrary questions. They are your inspiration.

Here's what I mean: My favourite shirt is linen, my favourite colour white. My comfort food is Indian and I prefer to eat it at the beach. I like spicy, earthy wines, and I'll always take a mango over a fancy dessert. In addition to Canada, I've lived in England, New Zealand and Australia, and I've travelled in Europe, the United States, Mexico and Costa Rica. New York is my favourite city and summer is the season in which I feel most alive.

Could a beige sofa, chocolate leather chairs, and the rest of the standard kit ever be an expression of me?

And you?

So, here's my appeal: Forgo safety and predictability, unless, of course, those are the adjectives you'd use to describe yourself. Create a home infused with your personality and inspired by your needs. Do this by identifying what you love and then celebrating the colours, textures, and experiences that move you. By your labours, you'll impress yourself and all those you welcome into your home.

TIPS:

Assess your needs: Think how you need your home to function to support your lifestyle. Shape it accordingly.

Don't forget history: Incorporate furnishings, finishes and objects that have history and texture. They'll add visual tension, sensuousness and warmth to your contemporary home.

Celebrate you: Make a list of your favourite ideas, memories and experiences. Then collect a series of your favourite objects. Collectively, these ideas and objects make up a "pallet" that will inspire a unique look for your home.

Experiment: Don't be afraid to try different groupings and furniture configurations -- move furnishings from one room to the next, try colours and textures together that you're uncertain about. The only way to learn is by trying.

Don't aim for perfection: The imperfect, the weathered, the delightfully mismatched and the tarnished can all add character to any home.

Commentary on Newspaper articles

Hands off Christmas, say British religious leaders

By Paul Majendie
LONDON (Reuters) - Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims joined Britain's equality watchdog on Monday in urging Britons to enjoy Christmas without worrying about offending non-Christians.
"It's time to stop being daft about Christmas. It's fine to celebrate and it's fine for Christ to be star of the show," said Trevor Phillips, chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission.
"Let's stop being silly about a Christian Christmas," he said, referring to a tendency to play down the traditional celebrations of the birth of Christ for fear of offending minorities in multicultural Britain.
Suicide bombings by British Islamists in July 2005 which killed 52 people in London have prompted much soul-searching about religion and integration in Britain, a debate that has been echoed across Europe.
The threat of radical Islam, highlighted by the London attacks, prompted reflection about Britain's attitude to ethnic minorities and debate about whether closer integration was more important than promoting multiculturalism.
Phillips, reflecting on media reports of schools scrapping nativity plays and local councils celebrating "Winterval" instead of Christmas, feared there might an underlying agenda -- using "this great holiday to fuel community tension."
So he joined forces with leaders of minority faiths to put out a blunt message to the politically correct -- Leave Christmas alone.
"Hindus celebrate Christmas too. It's a great holiday for everyone living in Britain," said Anil Bhanot, general secretary of the UK Hindu Council.
Sikh spokesman Indarjit Singh said: "Every year I am asked 'Do I object to the celebration of Christmas?' It's an absurd question. As ever, my family and I will send out our Christmas cards to our Christian friends and others."
Their sentiments were echoed by British Muslim leaders, who were also forthright last week in condemning Sudan for jailing a British teacher for letting her pupils name a teddy bear Mohammad.
Muslim Council of Britain spokesman Shayk Ibrahim Mogra said "To suggest celebrating Christmas and having decorations offends Muslims is absurd. Why can't we have more nativity scenes in Britain?"

Lately in the paper, I have been seeing things about Christmas echoing the sentiments as seen above. There was an incident with a Santa in Austrailia who was supposed fired because he refused to say "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho". The Ho Ho Ho was considered offensive as "ho" is derogatory towards women. "Merry Christmas" is considered offensive to those who are not Christians or who do not celebrate this tradition. I remember when the expression was changed. or rather people were banned/advised against using the term "Merry Christmas" but were encouraged to attend "Holiday concerts" instead of "Christmas concerts", to have "holiday trees", etc.

I am a Christian minister working in a multifaith context. Part of our work is to have dialogue with our patients/clients, etc. We are not here to "preach at them" but rather we are to engage people in dialogue about their faith, their spiritual life and what it is that brings them hope, meaning and to encourage them to use these as resources in times of crisis. Spiritual care is about dialogue not about evangelism. Unfortunately, a lot of people have had bad experiences or bad education and hence my role is often misunderstood. A key aspect to dialogue is respect. Respect for the other person's views in light of their personal experience and their view of the world. So this is my goal to maintain respect and encourage growth of their spiritual life. This should be the goal of everyone in society -- Respect -- however not everyone understands this term in the same way. And so we get incidents and comments like the newspaper articles.

More Files from my computer

Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart are real weak and most susceptible?

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:
I love you, Sorry and help me

The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.


Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?

Did you know that those who dress in black are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?

Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don’t mention it to you?

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?

Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?

Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?

Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Sitting With A Shattered Soul

So how do you sit with a shattered soul? Gently, with gracious and deep respect. Patiently, for time stands still for the shattered, and the momentum of healing will be slow at first. With the tender strength that comes from an openness To your own deepest wounding, and to your own deepest healing. Firmly, never wavering in the utmost conviction that evil is powerful, but there is a good that is more powerful still. Stay connected to that goodness with all your being, however it manifests itself to you. Give freely. Take in abundantly. Find your safety, your refuge, and go there as you need. Words won't always come; sometime there are no words in the face of such tragic evil. But in your own willingness to be with them, they will hear you; from soul to soul they will hear that for which there are no words. When you can, in your own time, turn and face that deep chasm within. Let go. Grieve, rage, shed. ***************************************** Butt Prints in the Sand One night I had a wondrous dream, One set of footprints there was seen, The footprints of my precious Lord, But mine were not along the shore. But then some stranger prints appeared, And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?" Those prints are large and round and neat, "But Lord they are too big for feet." "My child," He said in somber tones, "For miles I carried you alone. I challenged you to walk in faith, But you refused and made me wait." "You disobeyed, you would not grow, The walk of faith, you would not know. So I got tired, I got fed up, and there I dropped you on your butt." "Because in life, there comes a time, when one must fight, and one must climb. When one must rise and take a stand, or leave their butt prints in the sand." author unknown