Book recommendation

Earlier this month, a colleague asked me for book recommendations to help move her spiritually. I thought about it and scoured my Goodreads listings, and thought about it some more. I asked how does she think she wants to be moved? Is she feeling dry? wanting to learn some specific area, what have you? Her response was "if you were my CPE supervisor, what you recommend for me to grow spiritually? and in my job?"

So I gave it some more thought and have come up with some books that I think are good for various reasons. I realize that some times you are enthralled with a book or show or saying because it spoke to you at a certain time for a certain situation, but when you review/re-read the book, it doesn't speak to you in the same way. The "WOW" factor is gone. But that doesn't mean that you don't get something out of the same thing.

I have been purging the house. (or trying to for the past few months, and got sidetracked by oh, a job, cooking food, going to Italy for a dream vacation, and refusing to have visitors in as it is piling up in the first floor, and now we are preparing for renos of my kitchen... let's not go there.) Anyhow, I have resumed the purging trying to do one project or room a day. Today, it was the bookcase in my bed room. I haven't counted the list, but I would say there are at least..... 50 to 70. Most are theology textbooks that I have not looked at since... graduating. In some cases, they are from theology degree #1 -- some 10 years ago. So I KNOW the rule.. if you haven't used it in 6 months... toss it!! Books are different, you do tend to reread or have sentimental attachment. Anyhow, books are going. The lists are posted on Facebook and what isn't taken by friends, will be posted on Craigslist or Freecycle, the rest will go to the book table at my church.

So the book that I had recommended to my colleague was The Passion of Reverend Nash. But that is not the one that I meant as I think I read these 2 books close in time and the plot is similar and I messed them up. I found this book at Chapters for $2. So I figured 2 bucks is 2 bucks. But it was a good 2 bucks.

Anyhow, the other book is by Anne Hines called The Spiral Garden. This is a book about a female minister who takes over a failing parish and the book is introduced this way... Moses never saw the Promised Land. King David didn't get to build the Temple. Jesus preached an unpopular message and died on the cross. Reverend Ruth Broggan thinks God has something to answer for. Unsatisfied with traditional teachings, Broggan takes a radical approach to finding the meaning of life.

(unfortunately there is no comprehensive review by others, other than this blip that seems to be on most websites but is not a reader's comment.)

So Ruth ends up in a new parish and things are going along with her ministry. She is figuring this congregation and their issues out, plus her life is a bit a of mess. (face it, ministers are humans too, we are all ministers, but yes those of us CALLED are expected to perform to a higher standard... I won't go in to that here.) Anyhow, she gets fed up with stuff and decides that she will shut her self up in the manse (her house provided by the parish/congregation) and refuse to come out until she is satisified with the answer from God about all the mess that is going on in the world. This is triggered by her involvement with a congregant's crisis that did not end well and hence Ruth felt she could have handled it better.

There well, hopefully I did not spoil the book for you. It is a good read and I hope to review it once I finish my current novel.

In purging, I have discovered a multitude of books that I bought or "found" (got for free ... from someone or somewhere) that for one reason or other I have yet to read. Either the mood struck me, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, or I haven't been in the mood wasn't right, or they were dull.. there are some novels that I have TRIED to read numerous times, but can't because they are dry or ... something. Reading Lolita in Tehran is one of these books, In the Middle of a Life is another such novel.... ugh. So the first, I will try again, but the second... has been put in the get rid of pile as I have had it longer than Lolita. (Also, I now remember that I had 2 copies, both free, but didn't realize that this was the case.) Another reason for the "unread" books, good intentions, what have you, is that there are SOOO many books and I have so little shelf room that in some cases the books have been stacked 3 rows deep that I haven't seen them. The shelves have been organized though. Previously I had organized them by in 2 categories, READ and TO READ. When they are read, they get moved to the left side of the book case. Further categories are novels, fuffy novels, psych books, philosophy, theology books (texts left over, but NOT so many now* singsong voice*), Fun books like my Peanuts collection, biographies, work related books with further categories of text like, or fluffy. And then the novels and books that have a spiritual theme. There are alot of these as well, due to my unconscious gravitation towards these types of books.

Some of these categories can fool you though. The definition of "spirituality" type book can be blatant like C.S. Lewis, Henri Nouwen, ... or they have under currents, subtle like the writing of Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper and the current read, The Tenth Circle.

Ok, it is 11: 30 and I have updated and rambled a lot on all of my blogs. It is time for bed. But hopefully this makes up for a "dry spell' of writing that has plagued me for the past while.

Part 2 of article

This is the second part of an article from the Vancouver Sun, talking about the 'war' between spirituality and religion. The author purports that spirituality is a personal thing while religion relates to the corporate nature of spiritual practice.

While it is difficult to find a balance between the personal and the corporate, Todd puts forth that a "good" religion is one that allows for growth and movements within the personal/corporate sphere. Humanity is constantly changing and growing and hence religion as one main structure of the human expression of Self needs to be able to change and grow with people. I wonder at the persons who do identify themselves as "not religious, but spiritual". Often when this statement is made to me, it is a defense mechanism usually meaning "don't shove your beliefs and judgments on me. That is the last thing that I need." I have always thought that those persons who have an aversion to "organized religion" are reacted to either a bad experience, misconceptions, or both. Often people attend worship services, but aren't educated about the practices that follow. It is not like someone says " we will now sing this song, or pray this prayer for reason 'X', " but rather, after someone has attended for a while, it is understood," this is just how we do this". However, along with the need for structure, it should not be so rigid that it staganates growth of the worshipper, but it should also not be so flexible that there is an "anything goes" thinking. This is the difficulty of defining worship and spiritual practices -- they do change as our understanding changes. But one must consider "what am I doing this for? or who? " and "does this practice help me to grow and challenge my understanding of the world?" If the answer is "I don't know" to the first questions, and "no" to the second... then maybe we need to think about why something isn't working for us or others and to discuss this with someone we trust.

SECOND OF TWO PARTS

Which is better: Religion or spirituality? Many people, especially on the West Coast of North America, now firmly believe that it's much better to be "spiritual" rather than "religious."

Before offering my answer to the question, however, it's crucial to explain the common definitions going round today of "religion" and "spirituality," plus a few of the widespread complaints against both.

Some of the many, many people today who stress "I'm spiritual, but not religious" feel strongly about defining religion as an absolutistic and dogmatic belief system locked up in an institution.

Their condemnation has some validity, even though they're not correct in portraying ALL religion as doctrinaire.

There can be no doubt that institutional religion frequently regresses to blind obedience and self-righteousness.

That's the assertion, for instance, of Vancouver's world-famous spiritual writer, Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now. The people who champion "spirituality" generally use the term to refer to the private and free development of a person's private inner life.

Tolle, for instance, is typical of many in the way he describes spirituality as personal "transformation" to an "awakened" state, detached from one's ego and even from "belief" itself .

The main charges against Tolle's popular form of self-spirituality are that it can become privatistic, leading to self-absorption, narcissism, naivety, anti-intellectualism and an anything-goes moral relativism. Critics say those who follow private spirituality are often unwilling to engage wider society and, in failing to do so, support the social status quo.

Just as there is something to the prevailing attack on "religion," there is also some truth to this critique of "spirituality."

But the mutual bombardments do not at all comprise the whole story of "spirituality" and "religion."

There are more comprehensive ways of looking at both, which will expand the debate far beyond a simplistic argument that one is good and the other is bad.

There are many valid definitions of "spirituality," a term that has only become hot in the past decade.

But I think one of the best and broadest definitions of "spirituality" is that it is "the ways humans have sought to find meaning in the world." However, I have to immediately add that I join the renowned American sociologist of religion, Robert Bellah, in suggesting that religion, at its deepest level, is about the same process -- forming human meaning.

In today's religion-wary culture, many won't like this overlapping definition of "spirituality" and "religion." But if you accept it, you would have to conclude that, at least in their ideal form, both can be beneficial.

There is another link between the two terms. Even though "spirituality" is now used to refer exclusively to a human's inner life, many private spiritualities, if they prove persuasive to enough people, eventually develop into more structured communal worldviews.

That is what happened with the experiences and teachings of Moses, Buddha, Socrates, Jesus, Mohammed and Baha'u'llah.

It's also what is happening with some best-selling contemporary spiritual teachers, as their thinking becomes more formalized through study groups and inter-connected communities.

In other words, it appears that the thing Western society is really debating these days is the difference in value between private spirituality and community-based spirituality, which is also sometimes known as institutional religion.

Contrary to what many people like to believe, I am not convinced personal spirituality and communal religion are mutually exclusive. They are complementary.

And both need to be approached in a self-critical way.

Any institutional religion that is habitually dogmatic and that fails to nurture a sense of personal spirituality, of personal choice and transformation, is empty.

And any personal spirituality that remains merely private, that doesn't make an effort to directly connect with others, with the real world, with community life, is trivial.

So where does that leave us with the question: Which is better: Spirituality or religion?

The short answer is they are both important.

However, I will go out on an unpopular limb for the longer answer.

I would suggest that institutional religion - when it is truly self-correcting, non-authoritarian and encouraging of authenticity (which it often, admittedly, is not) -- is more complete than private spirituality.

Let me briefly make my case for the value of religion in institutional form:

• Institutional religion, at its best, can be open, evolving and self- reforming -- even while attempting to define and remain true to core values, beliefs and practices.

• A religious institution can incorporate a multitude of personal spiritual practices, including the self-spirituality and nature spirituality that are popular today.

• Religious institutions, ideally, create a sense of community, which often contribute to the well-being of individuals.

• Religious institutions can offer checks and balances on private belief and practice. They can help isolated individuals avoid going off on unhealthy, wrong-headed or dangerous spiritual tangents.

• As a community, a religion can accomplish things that isolated individuals cannot. Institutions can plan and strategize, creating force fields for positive transition, both within individuals and in the wider society.

Ultimately, I like the way that Washington state scholar Patricia O'Connell Killen talks about the value of religions, which she also calls "wisdom traditions."

Unlike private spiritualities, community-based religions can, at their optimum, help people realize they're not the centre of the universe, Killen says. They can also, through their collected knowledge, historical perspective and shared values, be invaluable in helping people face life's inevitable suffering. In doing so, they can renew personal and public hope.

In the end, I don't believe we need to buy into the current nasty war between (personal) spirituality and (community-based) religion.

After all, that creates a false either/or choice.

What we can do instead is foster more interaction between spirituality and religion, since they are simply different aspects of the same thing: Humans' eternal search for meaning.

What do you do when you know your patient is going to die?

What do you do when you know your patient is going to die?

What do you feel inside?

Death is a hard thing for us to face. In the field of healthcare and spiritual care, death is a prominent player. While part of our work is to provide support and comfort for patients, family and staff involved in a death, it doesn’t seem to get easier. And when you have spent years investing your care and energy into the life’s story of a person, it is not easy to walk away unscathed.

I did not plan to get into this line of work. I did not aspire to be a “midwife for the dying”. I started my ministry career at the age of 23. I love stories. I am fascinated by books and movies. That is why I do this work. I get to hear stories from my patients and to be a part of their story. I am sure that others in this field will agree that some stories are hard to hear, while others are hard to watch. So after meeting the person and journeying with them, it is hard to not be untouched by their life. It is often said at funerals that whether we knew the deceased well, or whether we knew the deceased in passing, the fact that they are gone from this earth will have an impact on us. What that is I do not know. I think that some deaths are harder to deal with than others, for the attachments that come from the relationships. While we maintain the professionalism and boundaries, I think that there are some lives and deaths that impact us more than others. So when you have invested time and energy, and the story has taken its hold, how do you feel when you know that your patient is going to die? What do you do?

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I have given this some more thought. The question of "what do you do/feel when you know that your patient is going to die?" A lot of people find it interesting that I refer to them as "MY" patients and commented on this. I realize that I am not a doctor nor am I the primary caregiver who influences the success of their treatment, but considering the area of expertise and the time that I have invested in the relationship, I will think of the individual as "my patient". So hence I suppose that the attachment that one feels to the person who is dying is of consideration in the matter what one thinks or feels when you know that they are dying.

The relationship of caregiving is very intimate. In pastoral/spiritual care, people will bear their souls to another who is virtually a stranger. Hence the depth of the relationship and the content can have influence to the emotions of the care provider when the patient's condition deteriorates. I have had various patients that I have known for numerous years. It is a different reaction for one to die versus another, and I think that it is dependent on the type of relationship that has been cultivated and whether or not the death was anticipated.

So I pose the question to my fellow chaplains/spiritual care providers, what is your reaction when YOUR patient dies? What do you do? What do you feel?

Spring Cleaning for (of) the Soul

This month's theme for the bulletin board at work is "Spring Cleaning for the Soul". This has various meanings. First, it is Spring!! (Yipee!) that means that flowers will soon bloom and things will grow and the earth's beauty will be changed yet again.

It is also a time to clean out the junk in the house, closet, or desk and get rid of what you don't use, need or want. It is said that a good rule of thumb is "if you haven't used it in 6 months, you likely aren't going to." So get rid of the papers, get rid of the "skinny jeans" that you hoped to loose enough weight to fit into, get rid of books that you aren't going to re-read, get rid of clutter. It will make you feel better in more ways than one.

Cleaning for the soul is therapeutic. Cleaning out the junk that you trip over, the piles that manifest.. it frees you when you get rid of or let go of "things". The other "soul cleaning" is your emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being. Is there stuff that you hang onto? Things that you wish you would/could change about yourself? Things that you don't want to see/know about yourself? It's time to take this stuff out, look at it, examine it, and understand why you are keeping it. It could be a thought about your self, leading to low self-esteem; it could be a grudge against someone from way back when, leading to anger and bitterness; it could be a negative attitude... GET RID OF IT!! It's not doing you any good.

True there are some things that we hang on to, such as memories, pictures, momentos, but I'm talking about the issues and ideas that bog us down in life and keep us from being the content, loving people that we were created to be.

So get to it. Take out the trash of life. It will do your soul some good. If you can't do it alone, get someone to help you.

Commentary on Newspaper articles

Hands off Christmas, say British religious leaders

By Paul Majendie
LONDON (Reuters) - Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims joined Britain's equality watchdog on Monday in urging Britons to enjoy Christmas without worrying about offending non-Christians.
"It's time to stop being daft about Christmas. It's fine to celebrate and it's fine for Christ to be star of the show," said Trevor Phillips, chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission.
"Let's stop being silly about a Christian Christmas," he said, referring to a tendency to play down the traditional celebrations of the birth of Christ for fear of offending minorities in multicultural Britain.
Suicide bombings by British Islamists in July 2005 which killed 52 people in London have prompted much soul-searching about religion and integration in Britain, a debate that has been echoed across Europe.
The threat of radical Islam, highlighted by the London attacks, prompted reflection about Britain's attitude to ethnic minorities and debate about whether closer integration was more important than promoting multiculturalism.
Phillips, reflecting on media reports of schools scrapping nativity plays and local councils celebrating "Winterval" instead of Christmas, feared there might an underlying agenda -- using "this great holiday to fuel community tension."
So he joined forces with leaders of minority faiths to put out a blunt message to the politically correct -- Leave Christmas alone.
"Hindus celebrate Christmas too. It's a great holiday for everyone living in Britain," said Anil Bhanot, general secretary of the UK Hindu Council.
Sikh spokesman Indarjit Singh said: "Every year I am asked 'Do I object to the celebration of Christmas?' It's an absurd question. As ever, my family and I will send out our Christmas cards to our Christian friends and others."
Their sentiments were echoed by British Muslim leaders, who were also forthright last week in condemning Sudan for jailing a British teacher for letting her pupils name a teddy bear Mohammad.
Muslim Council of Britain spokesman Shayk Ibrahim Mogra said "To suggest celebrating Christmas and having decorations offends Muslims is absurd. Why can't we have more nativity scenes in Britain?"

Lately in the paper, I have been seeing things about Christmas echoing the sentiments as seen above. There was an incident with a Santa in Austrailia who was supposed fired because he refused to say "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho". The Ho Ho Ho was considered offensive as "ho" is derogatory towards women. "Merry Christmas" is considered offensive to those who are not Christians or who do not celebrate this tradition. I remember when the expression was changed. or rather people were banned/advised against using the term "Merry Christmas" but were encouraged to attend "Holiday concerts" instead of "Christmas concerts", to have "holiday trees", etc.

I am a Christian minister working in a multifaith context. Part of our work is to have dialogue with our patients/clients, etc. We are not here to "preach at them" but rather we are to engage people in dialogue about their faith, their spiritual life and what it is that brings them hope, meaning and to encourage them to use these as resources in times of crisis. Spiritual care is about dialogue not about evangelism. Unfortunately, a lot of people have had bad experiences or bad education and hence my role is often misunderstood. A key aspect to dialogue is respect. Respect for the other person's views in light of their personal experience and their view of the world. So this is my goal to maintain respect and encourage growth of their spiritual life. This should be the goal of everyone in society -- Respect -- however not everyone understands this term in the same way. And so we get incidents and comments like the newspaper articles.

I think I need to subscribe to a new paper, or perhaps it was a fluke. On the day that I left for my vacation, I picked up a copy of the National Post and it was full of articles related to faith and spirituality. The headlining story was about Mother Teresa. Apparently her letters were not destroyed (contrary to her last requests) and are now available in a recently published book, Mother Teresa: Come be My Light. The letters reflect her spiritual walk and show that she doubted her faith on a regular basis and often felt grief and guilt that she did not "feel" the presence of God as she thought she should. Some people are shocked by this "revelation" -- that the woman revered for her work and devotion to the poor should question her faith and place with God. She was seen as a saint even before her death, hence this revelation casts her in a different light and some people have reacted with outrage that these letters were not destroyed as she asked her followers to do. My thinking on this is not one of shock or disappointment, but rather one of curiosity. The image that she had.. the saintly portrait painted to the world, was not by her choice. She sought to follow her God and to to serve His people. The fact that she spent the majority of her life's work with the poorest of India and yet felt some disconnect from her God is not a loss. The letters show that she tried despite her personal struggle. This is what I understand a relationship with God to be. Searching to be closer to God regardless of one's interior relationship with self, this is what spiritual journey is. Seeking God regardless of the ills one is facing (real or perceived) is what spiritual growth is. Often we feel comfortable with our faith and perhaps get lazy, stopping where we are. Other things in life occur, negative events, illness and other hardships and some people are led to turn from God and walk away from their religion and sometimes their faith. Mother Teresa's letters are an example of persistance even when one does not know the outcome, when one may not feel the inner growth on a conscious level or ever....
This is the journey of faith and hope. And those who minister either in office or otherwise (as I believe we are all called to service in some form-- big or small) may never really see results from their service, but continue in the hope that in that some small way we have contributed to the service of God and His people. Results may never be seen by us, but they will be seen by God.

Is it okay to be angry with God?

Is it wrong to be mad at God? Have you ever been mad at God? From time to time, I meet people who have had bad experiences with their religious traditions, varying degrees of understanding about God, faith and all of it. Recently, I went to meet a woman on one of my units. After introducing myself and stating my role on the team, she began the interrogation about "who are you with", meaning what tradition did I represent. Was I a student or intern?
[This line of questioning is not new for me. People often want to know what I want, who I'm with,.. define me so they can put in "the box" and determine what/whether they want to talk to me. I get a lot of responses to my introduction. "I'm not religious" to which I usually reply "I'm not either". I usually get a funny look at this point, and then I proceed to explain my understanding of religion vs. spirituality.]
So I tell her I am not a student, that I work here. I'm part of the team.
She says " Well I ask because I am the Reverend (not real name) Jane MacDonald of the ________ Church of Canada."
This surprised me, and I said...ooooh. (I know what you want now.) I'm Reverend Kathryn _______ with the BUWC. " And here we launched in an interesting discussion about ministry and some of the similar issues that we faced as women in ministry. She was in hospital with a significant illness and after talking with me for a while, told me that she was angry with God for the way her life seemed to be going. I was a little surprised when she told me this, as she seemed to be upbeat when talking about her ministry life.

Often when I meet patients who are "angry with God", I do not always know how far our relationship will progress. A lot of people that I meet in my work have major illness, not just one issue, but it is cumulative, meaning there are numerous issues occuring simultaneously or I meet them after they have faced a sucession of progressive health issues. Some are elderly and after their recent admission, it may be determined that they are not deemed safe to return their home where they were once independant and thriving.

So is it okay to be mad at God? Of course it is not a feeling we like, to be angry. But my response is that it is sometimes necessary and healthy to express our discontent, or angry, to God. He can take it. If you read the Psalms, you will see various examples of David's discontent expressed to God. Job was perplexed at his situation, and Jonah was ticked at God for sending him to Nenevah. This story tells us that even after Jonah was expelled from the whale's belly and on dry land, he still sulked outside of the city.
So yes, it is "okay" to be mad at God, but it is my hope and prayer that when that happens that it doesn't last too long.

So, this minister lady tells me a few visits later that my presence has "tinkled her ivories" (use of piano analogy was hers). She said just the fact that I showed up got her thinking about her relationship with God and she has begun the journey of reconciliation with God. Why she was mad isn't really the issue at the moment, but seeing if she can forgive the situation to renew her life with God. I find that when people are mad at God, it is usually related to an illness or death. Something they did not expect to happen. I suppose this is based on an idea that God causes suffering at a sort. Sometimes the anger is directed at God, but it is related to the actions or inactions of people. In particular, within the Christian experience, we are taught to love and care for all persons due to their association with or fact of being a part of God's creation. When humans fail, or when the church fails to minister to the needs of the individual, some times it is so bad that the injured party decides to leave the church and cuts themself off from anything related. I think that sometimes being angry at God is displaced, (not misplaced), as God is often associated with religion. A person may have a problem with structure or suffered a bad experience, and as such they associate that with God. So the anger is displaced.

So to repeat, it is not wrong to be angry with God. But keep talking to Him. When we have a fight with someone, say our spouse or friend, hanging on to anger, even if justified, hurts you more than it hurts the other person. The same thing applies to God. You and God are in a relationship. Not talking to him, holding on to the anger will hurt you more than it hurts Him. I find that anger looses its grip or doesn't seem so intense after a time, but unfortunately a relationship (with humans) is often too far damaged to repair as people move on. The other thing to note about anger is that even when it feels weak, it can actually change shape and hold us at a deeper level, known as bitterness. This was described to me in a psychology class as floating on the water. The longer we hang on to anger, it starts to sink, and then it is ingrained/embedded deeper becoming bitterness. Bitterness is harder to work through than anger.

Okay that's my thoughts for this week.