Book recommendation

Earlier this month, a colleague asked me for book recommendations to help move her spiritually. I thought about it and scoured my Goodreads listings, and thought about it some more. I asked how does she think she wants to be moved? Is she feeling dry? wanting to learn some specific area, what have you? Her response was "if you were my CPE supervisor, what you recommend for me to grow spiritually? and in my job?"

So I gave it some more thought and have come up with some books that I think are good for various reasons. I realize that some times you are enthralled with a book or show or saying because it spoke to you at a certain time for a certain situation, but when you review/re-read the book, it doesn't speak to you in the same way. The "WOW" factor is gone. But that doesn't mean that you don't get something out of the same thing.

I have been purging the house. (or trying to for the past few months, and got sidetracked by oh, a job, cooking food, going to Italy for a dream vacation, and refusing to have visitors in as it is piling up in the first floor, and now we are preparing for renos of my kitchen... let's not go there.) Anyhow, I have resumed the purging trying to do one project or room a day. Today, it was the bookcase in my bed room. I haven't counted the list, but I would say there are at least..... 50 to 70. Most are theology textbooks that I have not looked at since... graduating. In some cases, they are from theology degree #1 -- some 10 years ago. So I KNOW the rule.. if you haven't used it in 6 months... toss it!! Books are different, you do tend to reread or have sentimental attachment. Anyhow, books are going. The lists are posted on Facebook and what isn't taken by friends, will be posted on Craigslist or Freecycle, the rest will go to the book table at my church.

So the book that I had recommended to my colleague was The Passion of Reverend Nash. But that is not the one that I meant as I think I read these 2 books close in time and the plot is similar and I messed them up. I found this book at Chapters for $2. So I figured 2 bucks is 2 bucks. But it was a good 2 bucks.

Anyhow, the other book is by Anne Hines called The Spiral Garden. This is a book about a female minister who takes over a failing parish and the book is introduced this way... Moses never saw the Promised Land. King David didn't get to build the Temple. Jesus preached an unpopular message and died on the cross. Reverend Ruth Broggan thinks God has something to answer for. Unsatisfied with traditional teachings, Broggan takes a radical approach to finding the meaning of life.

(unfortunately there is no comprehensive review by others, other than this blip that seems to be on most websites but is not a reader's comment.)

So Ruth ends up in a new parish and things are going along with her ministry. She is figuring this congregation and their issues out, plus her life is a bit a of mess. (face it, ministers are humans too, we are all ministers, but yes those of us CALLED are expected to perform to a higher standard... I won't go in to that here.) Anyhow, she gets fed up with stuff and decides that she will shut her self up in the manse (her house provided by the parish/congregation) and refuse to come out until she is satisified with the answer from God about all the mess that is going on in the world. This is triggered by her involvement with a congregant's crisis that did not end well and hence Ruth felt she could have handled it better.

There well, hopefully I did not spoil the book for you. It is a good read and I hope to review it once I finish my current novel.

In purging, I have discovered a multitude of books that I bought or "found" (got for free ... from someone or somewhere) that for one reason or other I have yet to read. Either the mood struck me, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, or I haven't been in the mood wasn't right, or they were dull.. there are some novels that I have TRIED to read numerous times, but can't because they are dry or ... something. Reading Lolita in Tehran is one of these books, In the Middle of a Life is another such novel.... ugh. So the first, I will try again, but the second... has been put in the get rid of pile as I have had it longer than Lolita. (Also, I now remember that I had 2 copies, both free, but didn't realize that this was the case.) Another reason for the "unread" books, good intentions, what have you, is that there are SOOO many books and I have so little shelf room that in some cases the books have been stacked 3 rows deep that I haven't seen them. The shelves have been organized though. Previously I had organized them by in 2 categories, READ and TO READ. When they are read, they get moved to the left side of the book case. Further categories are novels, fuffy novels, psych books, philosophy, theology books (texts left over, but NOT so many now* singsong voice*), Fun books like my Peanuts collection, biographies, work related books with further categories of text like, or fluffy. And then the novels and books that have a spiritual theme. There are alot of these as well, due to my unconscious gravitation towards these types of books.

Some of these categories can fool you though. The definition of "spirituality" type book can be blatant like C.S. Lewis, Henri Nouwen, ... or they have under currents, subtle like the writing of Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper and the current read, The Tenth Circle.

Ok, it is 11: 30 and I have updated and rambled a lot on all of my blogs. It is time for bed. But hopefully this makes up for a "dry spell' of writing that has plagued me for the past while.

Book review

One of many books that I have purchased with intent to read is "Pastoral Care Under the Cross: God in the Midst of Suffering" written by Richard C. Eyer. So far, I love what I am reading as it is written from the theological context of chaplaincy. I have found it a rare publication that is written specifically from the pastoral care/chaplaincy perspective.

In the first paragraph of this book, I defined pastoral care as the "uninvited spiritual nurturing" that a pastor provides. It is uninvited in the sense that the person needing pastoral care often does not request it. ... need to understand in the context of 'helplessness or loss of control over one's life'. Someone has said that the willingness to live with our own helpless may well turn out to be called faith. That does not make living with helplessness any easier, but it does put helplessness into holy perspective, a useful beginning for both pastor and parishioner. ... the challenge for pastoral care is to move the sufferer from feelings of helplessness to a holy perspective. Holy perspective is that interpretation arrive at by pastor and suffering parishioner which is both sensitive to feelings and looks beyond feelings to Truth. Truth is not merely what pastor or parishioner feels personally but what God says to us in Jesus Christ, the meaning of which is revealed in the written Word. "
"Pastoral care consists not in removing some one's suffering but in helping the sufferer understand his or her suffering in the light of the cross. Apart from the cross, the sufferer experiences a meaningless and out-of-control world that offers no hope.. " Basically, Eyer differentiates the message of the cross as rooted in self-exploration with the purpose of the individual to define the weakness within and to confess and grow from learning of one's weakness, to root it out, whereas pop psychology elevates the self-exploration with the propose of celebrating our weaknesses. Eyer goes on to distinguish the difference of what he calls "theology of the cross" and "theology of glory" using the Lord's prayer as example. One line of the Lord's Prayer is "thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven". Eyer argues that many people hold to the thinking of "theology of glory"
when it comes to this line, stating that while "thy will be done" refers to our acknowledgement of our individual weakness and acknowledging that God walks with us in our suffering, versus trying to bend God's will to our desires.
" The theology of the cross says that God comes to us through our weakness and suffering, on the cross and in our own sufferings. The theology of the cross says, 'My grace is sufficient for you,..' the theology of glory on the other hand says that God is to be found, not in the weakness but in power and strength, and therefore we should look for him in signs of health, success, and outward victory over life's ills. .. If we do not understand the distinction, we will gravitate towards a theology of glory in which our culture believes God works through the self-affirmation of pop psychology and instant gratification. We will begin to demand that God justify himself to us in our sufferings by giving us healing and success."

That is quite the statement and it rings true. How often have I had patients tell me that God will fix it because "I told him to". I do agree that God does heal and that miracles occur, but sometimes people hold too rigid to the "theology of glory" stance and aren't willing to see that sometimes, God is saying "I'm here , walking with you." or that the answer to their demand is "no, there will be healing, just not that way".

I look forward to seeing how this book continues and what other challenges to perspective will arise.

Close to the Bone

I have been home sick for most of the week. Now that I finally get my appetite and most of my strength back, I have to write/prepare for a funeral service tomorrow. It is my first Funeral service in Vancouver. I have done numerous memorial services as part of my work, but this is the first one where I am the sole officiant. I did a "joint" service at a local nursing home for one of my renal patients which received good comments from attendees. Some of my staff came as well.

It is harder to do a service for someone that you did not know very well.

Since I have been home, I have begun rereading some of my books that I normally don't have time for .. or the brain for. You have to be in a certain mood for some books. Especially when you do the type of work that I do. It's not that I deal with death and dying all the time, but the issue of illness and suffering does comprise a lot of my work. After a while, you want to read ANY thing BUT.. something related to your field of work. Yet it is ironic that when I look at my library, there is a spiritual and psychological component to even my novels.

Close to the Bone is one of the books that I picked up a few years ago. Probably because it was cheap and likely related to my work. It is talking about the way that suffering affects us, our response to suffering.. either our own, or someone else's. The author relates a Babylonian myth as part of the beginning pages in describing the experience that most patients experience as part of their hospital experience.

Inanna is a queen who descends the depths of the underworld, to see her sister who is suffering.

The descent of the soul into the underworld which illness can precipitate, does not always have the impact of a shocking, sudden and unexpected abduction or the immediate devastation of being at the center of a major earthquake. Persephone's myth applies when this is so, but there is a second myt that parallells the experience of people whole illness and decent occurs in stages through an incremental loss of footing in the ordinary world of good health: either they have an illness with a gradually worsening pattern, or they maintain the illusion of being in control and minimize the emotional impact of having a serious medical problem. The myth that resembles the journey they take goes back at least five thousand years to the Sumerian goddess of Inanna.
Inanna was the Queen of Heaven and Earth. Heeding the news that her sister goddess Ereshkigal, Queen of the Underworld, was suffering and in pain, she decided to pay her a visit. Inanna mistakenly assumed that she could descend with ease. She would find however, that the power and authority she had int he upperworld had no bearing on how she would be treated in the underworld.
Inanna knocked imperiously on the gate to the underworlds demanding that the doors be opened. The gatekeeper asked who she was, and then told her that in order to pass through, there was a price. She would find that there was not just one gate, but seven. At each one, the gatekeeper told her that she must take off something she was wearing to pass through. Each time, Inanna responded indignantly, shocked that this should be so, with the words: "What IS this?" Each time, she was told: "Quiet, Inanna, the ways of the underworld are perfect. They may not be questioned."
Her magnificent headdress, the crown that designated her authority, was removed at the first gate. The lapis necklace ... double strand of rich beads.. breastplate .. gold bracelets .. royal robe. Naked and bowed low, She entered the underworld. Over and over, at each gate, symbols of power and prestige, wealth, and office were taken from her. ... Over and over, she would say "what is this?" and be told, "Quiet Inanna. the rules of the underworld are perfect. They may not be questioned."
Whenever a person becomes a patient and enters a hospital, the experience is not unlike Inanna's. Metaphorically, there are a series of gates to go through, and at each one, something is taken away. At the door of the hospital, s/he unwittingly crosses the first gate. In increments, thereafter, a patient is stripped of dignity, choice and authority. However important the patient is in the world, however significant s/he is to someone else does not matter here.
The second gate is the admissions desk... the third gate is usually the hospital room. Here each patient takes off street clothes which are reflections of individuality and status and puts on standard hospital gown that often is ill-fitting, too short and opens up the back. ...
Metaphorically and actually, illness and hospitalizations strip us of what covered and protected us in many ways. Indignities happen, and a "what is this?" protest may be met by words and attitudes from hospital staff that resemble those that Inanna heard: "Quiet, Patient. The orders of the doctor are perfect. They may not be questioned." Even when our physician are healers whom we trust, and they as well as the others communicate what an why whatever is being done is required, and even if we are fully involved in the decision-making, the journey is still similar to Inanna's. There are still gates we go through, which strip up of persona and defense: we become exposed and bare-souled.
The writer goes on to say that when we have been stripped so much, we reach our bare core and find things that were buried, or that we were not aware of. We are faced with the raw product of Self. Suffering brings us in contact with things we would otherwise prefer to forget, according to Henri Nouwen, a theologian. It is what we do with this time of suffering or death that defines our character, and provides a model for others. Some aspects of suffering give us NO CHOICE, but we do have a choice as the author of this book continues in the chapter. We can face it with dignity, or we give up.

This experience of being stripped to the bareness of it all... this is what I see everyday. My staff see it sometimes more intensely than I do. When one sees and experiences suffering on a daily basis, there is something inside that cries out for someone to do something. The mind rationalizes that even though I cannot change the situation, I can often comfort in the care given. That or the brain reacts with one of many defense mechanisms so that the intensity and raw pain are not felt so deep by the caregiver, so that the vicariousness of it all isn't touching too deep. There is a necessity of balance. The caregiver needs to separate themselves from the suffering and pain they witness, but there needs to be some acknowledgement that this cannot go on.
Hard lessons in life.