Is THAT what it is ..?

So the Parks Board in Vancouver has these sculptures all over the place. Most of them are in Stanley Park and the Waterfront area. They are "In your Face" as per the Vancouver Sun article of May 26, 2006. I'll say...
If you didn't see the title, they make NO sense. HOW?? does this beautify our parks? I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

Look in the mirror, tell me what you see...

So the story continues... the first visit with my patient was awful. For so many reasons. There was nothing I could do for him, say to him, that would help on Thursday. But Friday's visit was better. I sat with him for an hour and half. He is dealing with a lot of stuff, but in the end, it came down to this ... "when you look in the mirror, tell me , what do you see?" He saw a man that was bad and did so many horrible things in his life that he couldn't get past it. He didn't tell me the illegal things he'd done, and I don't want to know. He'd say " I know it here (in his head) that God forgives me for what I have done, but why? Why does God bother with me? ... I know he forgives me, but I can't forgive myself. "

I have a hard time with visits some days, because I am not the type that knows the Bible backwards and forwards. I can't quote things appropriate for the moment, I don't pray with them unless they ask. I do not like people shoving their practices on me, hence I do not do the same to them. But I did say to him... that God loves us like children, because we are his children, we are created by him and he knows us so well.

My patient alluded to the fact that when he picked up his Bible and opened it randomly, it came to Psalm 139:13...

"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb ... 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. "

and it hurt to read these words because of the way he saw himself, thought about himself. How can God think about him so well, when he couldn't love himself?

In the end, isn't that what really is wrong with humanity? We tend to have a negative self-image, as Christians, because we are taught the emphasis on humility, versus pride. It is hard to have a balance. (Philippians 2: 3 says "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.") This is hard to do.

It was a good hour with my patient, and we were wrapping up when I was told my a nurse that there was a minister outside waiting to see him. Remember the day before? He was upset because the minister from his church wouldn't come see him? I will check in on Tuesday to see how that visit went.

The past week was hard, but I think that in the end, God did good work through me that day.

How to feel like a Princess... or... I PUT ON MY DRESS TODAY!!

I put on

my dress today!!!

Of course this is not it... but that is how I felt!! Like a princess!! The woman who fitted me for my dress in January is no longer there, but she had written on the receipt that I get a free veil. Luckily, the current staff are going to honor that and I got to pick out a veil. $200 worth for free!! It is Ivory like my dress and laced with crystals and pearls... I love it. It is not a blusher as I originally thought I wanted, but I am not 20 .... so it is better for me.

I brought my shoes that I intend to wear and the women made me walk around to see whether I wanted it hemmed. I am tall enough that I don't need it, nor do I want a bustle. I think it would look weird. *Sigh* Of course, this is not my Cinderella dress of dreams... nor is there a cathedral length train on the dress or veil. But I love it..

Now I really have to hit the gym.. and work on my flabby arms. I have lost a dress size since my original choosing of this dress and I can try to do more. I was alone when I picked it and I was alone when I saw it again. I did ask them to take a picture for me so I can send it to my mom. I'm so pleased with myself that it is a surprise as normally I am not good at keeping good news to myself!!

On Friday, the "inlaws" are coming and we will all go see OUR house again. I can't wait to move in!! Too many exciting things happening .... how can I focus on work?

Can you say Busy?

Today seemed like a day from hell. I was the only person at work in my department so I had to field calls from 5 places in 30 minutes for referals and one BIG MESS. The mess related to who is Next of Kin and is allowed to make decisions about a patient, living or deceased. Oh ugly ugly stuff. We have it sorted out for now, but I have a feeling there will be more on this end. I hope I didn't say or do anything that I wasn't supposed to... Life is certainly a learning experience and SOMETIMES I don't want it!!!