Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Makes Me Wonder...

"Why are people like this? They can't be bothered to show up when the person is alive (but very sick), so why do they think they can/should show up when they are dead?"

At work, I have heard some family members comment how disappointed and angry they are about the fact that this happens. They have watched their loved one/family member go from being vibrant members of the community who may have been the life of the party... to people suffering from long term illness and eventually death. Why do "friends" and family stay away when times are hard? I guess this is a cruel lesson to learn about who your friends are and who they are not. It is cruel lesson to learn that the people you thought loved and cared for you or your loved one, really don't know how to be there in the tough times.

I know that there is a idea of the fair weather friend. The friends that are there when times are good. Or the people that meant to be in your life for a time and place and then fade away or move on. And that there are people who are able to stick it out in the difficult times. True, we don't always know what to say or what to do when things seem bad. True, at times there are people that we question why they are there, or what their motive/intent is. And there are some people that we don't really click with anyhow....

Illness or suffering brings out the true nature of people. Weddings and funerals are said to be the times when you will see the family dynamics come to life. The things that we had hoped to ignore or had hoped would go away come floating to the surface and that is when you see the "ugly-ness" of the system dynamics.

I guess this comment makes me wonder.. what is the motivation of the people who show up for the funeral but not when the person is alive, and who is/are the people that I have been neglecting in my life?

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