Makes Me Wonder...

"Why are people like this? They can't be bothered to show up when the person is alive (but very sick), so why do they think they can/should show up when they are dead?"

At work, I have heard some family members comment how disappointed and angry they are about the fact that this happens. They have watched their loved one/family member go from being vibrant members of the community who may have been the life of the party... to people suffering from long term illness and eventually death. Why do "friends" and family stay away when times are hard? I guess this is a cruel lesson to learn about who your friends are and who they are not. It is cruel lesson to learn that the people you thought loved and cared for you or your loved one, really don't know how to be there in the tough times.

I know that there is a idea of the fair weather friend. The friends that are there when times are good. Or the people that meant to be in your life for a time and place and then fade away or move on. And that there are people who are able to stick it out in the difficult times. True, we don't always know what to say or what to do when things seem bad. True, at times there are people that we question why they are there, or what their motive/intent is. And there are some people that we don't really click with anyhow....

Illness or suffering brings out the true nature of people. Weddings and funerals are said to be the times when you will see the family dynamics come to life. The things that we had hoped to ignore or had hoped would go away come floating to the surface and that is when you see the "ugly-ness" of the system dynamics.

I guess this comment makes me wonder.. what is the motivation of the people who show up for the funeral but not when the person is alive, and who is/are the people that I have been neglecting in my life?

Now I've heard it all...

I suppose it's not that wierd, it makes sense really. Just never thought I'd see it.



Victoria funeral parlour promotes green burial option option
Biodegradable casket materials include cardboard, cotton

Darron Kloster
Canwest News Service
Thursday, April 17, 2008
CREDIT: Darren Stone, Canwest News Service

Chris Benesch, manager of Victoria's Sands Funeral Chapel, is marketing biodegradable caskets, which have been big sellers.

VICTORIA -- People can now reduce their environmental footprint even after they've stopped walking the earth.
A Victoria funeral parlour is promoting cardboard caskets covered in wood veneer and urns made of compressed cotton, rice and other biodegradable materials to provide the dearly departed and their loved ones a greener burial option.
Fabric-covered cardboard caskets have been around for years, but have never looked this good or been so environmentally appealing, says Chris Benesch, manager of Sands Funeral Chapel, a division of Toronto-based Arbor Memorial Services.
"People want eye appeal and not to spend a whole lot, like a mortgage, so this gives them a good option if they are having a viewing," says Benesch.
"These days, the environmental issues are important, especially to the generation that is now burying their parents."
As a second-generation funeral director, Benesch said "My first impression was 'Wow, that's cardboard?' "
The caskets, manufactured in China and imported by Pan Pacific Paper Caskets in Vancouver, support up to 225 kilograms (almost 500 pounds) but only weigh 20 to 30 kilograms, depending on the model. Made from 100 per cent recycled cardboard and pressed in honeycomb style to provide strength, the coffins currently come in quite convincing imitations of oak, mahogany and pine.
Cardboard caskets also require less time and fuel in the cremation process, which reduces emissions, said Benesch. B.C. is the North American leader in cremation, with more than 80 per cent of clients choosing it as an alternative to burial.
Retail prices of the cardboard caskets are only about 15 per cent below the real-wood counterparts, said Benesch, who expects the prices to fall as volume increases. Traditional caskets at Sand's range from a $13,000, stainless-steel model and $5,800 for solid cherry to the traditional unlined pine box, which sells for $895.
Funeral service firms are joining companies worldwide providing green options for consumers.
Europeans are ahead of the curve, providing everything from pay-per-view funerals so mourners do not have to travel to services, to a process being offered in Sweden and Germany called Promessa Organic, where the deceased is submerged in liquid nitrogen and sound waves reduce the brittle remains to powder.
Closer to home, Royal Oak Burial Park in Saanich -- the largest community-owned cemetery in B.C. at 55 hectares -- is setting aside one-third of a hectare for a natural burial site, the first of its kind in Canada and scheduled to open in the fall.
Under the guidelines for burial, only bodies without embalming will be allowed and they can be wrapped in a simple shroud or in a biodegradable casket. Concrete liners, which cover caskets in traditional burying, will not be permitted and wildflowers, shrubs and plants will substitute traditional steel and stone grave markers.
© The Vancouver Sun 2008

You learn something new everyday... but did I want to learn this?

Yesterday I received a referal to see a patient on one of my units. He has a terminal illness and thought he should starting thinking about/make plans for his death. So I'm in his room, I've explained that the nurse called me after their conversation, and we have talked about his life and various issues for about 45 minutes, when he asked "so what are you for?" That was when I had to get blunt. "The nurse said that you were thinking about end of life issues and wanted to make some decisions like a will and such." He responded with "yes. I want my body shipped to [country overseas] when I die. My family over there can't really do it and there is no one here but me. So I figure I should do what I can now." So .. yesterday I learned about how you ship a body from Canada to an international country. I called up a local funeral home, told him that I had an odd request from a patient and wondered how to do this. It's a lot of paperwork really.

Say you die and you want to shipped to England, or Africa or wherever.. you need your birth certificate, the names of your parents, where you were born, where they were born, the name of the cemetery where you will be buried, the name of the funeral home in that country, your passport. You need to have permission from the consulate, (embassy), the town where you wish to be buried. But the main thing that will determine is the fee of the transport.. the airplane. Gas and other fees -- but the interesting thing is that it is cheaper to buy the casket (for burial) in the other country and to have a sealed shipping container for the body. The reason being that airlines charge by dimensions and weight.