Some days I hate my job

Today was NOT a good day. Can you say stress? I spent my morning catching up/checking in with various patients of mine all over the hospital. This was done in between rounds and I never got back to my office to sort out necessary paperwork that I need for a meeting tomorrow until 11:30 or so.

I got involved with a case whereby a patient of mine got admitted to ICU unexpectedly and is not expected to make it. I know her friends personally and ended up phoning them at about 4pm to tell them to come to the hospital tonight to say goodbye if they wanted the chance to do this. She is not likely to wake up and not expected to survive very long.

I distracted myself by finally cleaning my messy desk. I had soo much stuff on it, I could remember what color it was!! Papers and books and a huge binder full of the information that I need for tomorrow's meeting for which there are no minutes despite my hunting for them, and I have had numerous people drop out of the meeting after they had RSVped that they would come. I am very thrilled to have gotten the speaker from my church. He is an Internationally known speaker on the topic of dealing with Stress, hence we are getting him as a favor to me. He is intrigued by the group and the work we do so he wanted to do this, despite the fact that we SOO cannot afford him.

The ICU thing was hard. Meeting the family for the first time in these circumstances. I do not like to do this. And the situation sucks. It is interesting though because her friend/family member was saying that they are sad to see this happen, and they have been in this place before because my patient has been in dire straits before. And they rejoice because she will go home to heaven. They will celebrate this woman's life while mourning their loss. It is hard to know what to say/do. It is hard to watch. Some days I hate my job.