After a 10-day long festival, Ganesh Chaturthi came to an end on Tuesday, September 25, 2007, with the idols of the Lord Ganesha being immersed in water. Hindu worshippers are reported to be increasingly returning to the humble clay and paper idols in a bid to avoid pollution caused by the immersion of thousands of idols in water during the festival.

Singing hymns and beating drums, long processions wade into the water to submerge the idol to mark the natural cycle of creation and dissolution. The effects are typically felt in the environment for weeks after as idol fragments, made mostly of plastic and plaster of Paris, wash up on shores and toxic chemicals from the paints pollute waters and poison fish.

So I went back to work after being on vacation for 3 weeks. There was a notice for a "chocoholic's buffet" on the door of one of my units. I commented that it looked good only to be told that it had been on Saturday and the woman talking regrets eating so much there. I lamented that I miss the fun things that my staff members do together. The same woman later mentions that I should come the next time they go on a "food run", which will be a swanky hotel. But the condition was that we have to bring at least 5 "hunkalious men" with us.
I looked at her a little annoyed. "I'm married and I'm clergy. Where am I going to find someone to fit that description?" "Well you'd better get looking then.."

We walk to the other end of the nursing station where another woman is sitting. She is not often on our unit and I commented to her... "Never know what you're in for when you come up here eh? Does it make you wonder what kind of people you work with?" She smirked.

Art as Expression of Spirituality

Today is one of the remaining days for the Monet to Dali Exhibit as it closes on Sunday, 16th. I went this afternoon specifically to see this exhibit. It was about the Impressionist, Post-impressionist, Modernism, and Post-modern artwork, featuring Picasso, Cezane, Monet, Dali, Degas, to name a few. Some of the works were portraits, others were nature scenes experimenting with lighting and visualization. The famous statue "Thinker" by Rodin was also there. It was smaller than I imaged. Rodin's statues were profound, with explicit detail, and muscle definition in the human figures, and facial features.


The second exhibit was less appealing. It was House of Oracles: A Huang Yong Ping Retrospective. It was not really to my liking, I guess because I didn't really understand the purpose of it. This exhibit is/was controversial. This I realized when I saw a new part "Media, Blog and Email" which featured videotaped newscasts detailing public outrage with this exhibit. As you can see from the picture of the "cage", it is an exbihit about animals. The "cage" as I call it, featured live animals. Not while we were there. The emails, newscast, and newspaper clippings displayed detailed the outrage and disgust that many people felt from seeing live animals -- bugs, iguana, spiders, etc, in the "cage". SPCA protested vehemently. Even without the animals, it turned my stomach. One display that did interest me was the globe that the artist had taken apart, unraveled and had in a spiraling string. The different countries were labelled with pins marked with past and future events such as drought, extinction of certain species, earthquakes.. and other natural occurences that affect our climate and hence our animal species.

There was another exhibit, Andrea Zittel: Critical Space, that reminded of IKEA products. The artist was making a statement about the way we live our lives -- the space required to function. Most of the creations were "boxlike" contraptions that had bed, kitchen, computer room, bathroom. Interesting statements, but still a little wierd.

I now understand the statement that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Some things are a thing of beauty, appeal to some, but not to others. I prefered the Impressionist and post-impressionist features. Cubism (Picasso's work) was a bit odd. Perhaps I have preferred artwork/media of portrait, nature scenes as opposed to abstract. Which is probably why I was glad to end the tour by seeing the works of Emily Carr and the Group of Seven. I liked the deep green of Emily's work.
Art is but one form of spiritual expression. Art, such as painting, sculpture, and poetry, are a way to express one's soul. Artists often state that they "created" whatever because "it was in them and they needed to get it out". To express the essence of what was in their soul. One of the artists stated that we find a need to organize things to make sense of them, but just because you find a system that works for you, doesn't mean that you can/should impose on the world as the only way that works .I guess this can apply to the variety of artforms. What appeals to one may not appeal to another, hence the statement "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Relationships -- what is healthy?

Recently, I have been thinking about the different relationships in life. We first start with bonding/attachment as in the parental relationship. Attachment is needed for the child to feel secure, loved. Attachment can be healthy, too much (smothering) or not enough (distanced).
Then we have relationships with siblings.
Then there are relationships with peers, also refereed to as friends.
Friendship is the main "relationship" that I will focus on here.

Speaking from a point of psychology, relationships are necessary to help us feel attached to others. From a spiritual point, relationships/friendships are helpful to attach us to the world. We focus on other people, not just our small/narrow view of the world. It is said in the Bible that God created us (humans) for relationships.


Relationship with God, relationship with Self, and relationship with others.
I have found that as we develop, we put more emphasis on the relationship with "others" than we might on God or Self. Ironically, it is the views of others that shape our opinion of our selves. (This is especially noticed in adolescence, and hence peer pressure, either real or perceived, comes into play here.) Hopefully, we develop someone normal and have relationships which help us to feel happy/content, and as time goes on, we realize that it our opinion of Self that matters, and God's opinion that matters versus the opinions of others (unless of course, we are acting in a way that harms self or others.)

Relationship are dependant on a number of factors. Personality, social skills, boundaries, reciprocity, trust, accountability, and a host of others.

I remember when I was younger, I had low self-esteem, and few friends. I thought that a bad friend (or date) was better than no friend. Well I have changed my mind. One of the key aspects about relationships is reciprocity. Do you get out of the relationship what you put into it? Is the one person doing more of the "work" at maintaining the relationship? Because of my low self-esteem, when younger, I sought to do everything I could to maintain this "friend" otherwise I would be alone. But I came to a realization about a few "friendships" that I had. That they weren't true friendships. We didn't share equally -- either because of our own lack of ability, or because of the lack of trust. True, there are certain people that we only go shopping with, only to the gym with, lunch with -- we save certain activities for that person, but not we do not "share" our lives totally.

In relationships, of any kind, there is give and take. One person is the "giver" and the other is the "taker". A similar theory (psychology) also states that in a relationship. One person is the "pursuer" and the other "recedes". The more that person pursues, the more the other one backs away. When the pursuer stops, the other person stops backing away and moves forward. (I guess the hunter and prey?) When I learned this theory, I remember seeing correlation of said pursuance and avoidance in various relationships. (What about when both back away? Obviously the relationship will break up/die, and wasn't "true" to begin with.)

Over the years, I have had various friends complain about the "needy" someone in their life. It is likely that this "needy" person has had attachment/security failure at some point in their life. Based on what I wrote above, this person is trying to get fulfillment from "others" versus Self or God. I think that we need all three in the relationship. This is the dilemma. As a Christian, I have been taught that all people are created in the image of God, by God, and hence they are just as important to God as I am. I have also been taught that we are to help others just as would need in our life. (This is reinforced by such teachings as the "Golden Rule" Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. As well as Matthew 25:35-46 in the parable of the Sheep and Goats...

'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' )

Society also teaches us that sometimes the way to help someone is to let them fail. Where is the line between helping from sense of duty, and the line that says this "needy" person is using you? How/when do we put our foot done and say enough is enough? It hurts us to hurt others when we are trying to help them, but they don't want the help we wish to give. or is it hard to say "no" because we are taught, as above, that we should help others because what goes around comes around. I think that one answer may be in the Credo below. This talks about honesty, trust, boundaries and how to maintain a healthy balance for Self and others involved.

A Credo For My Relationships

You and I are in a relationship that is important to me, yet we are also separate persons with our own individual values and needs. So that we will better know and understand what each of us values and needs, let us always be open and honest in our communication.

Whenever I'm prevented from meeting my needs by some action of yours, I will tell you honestly and without blame how I am affected, thus giving you the chance to modify your behavior out of respect for my needs. And I want you to be as open with me when my behavior is unacceptable to you.

And when we experience conflict in our relationship, let us agree to resolve each conflict without using power to win at the expense of the other losing. We will always search for a solution that meets both of our needs - neither will lose, both will win.

Whenever you are experiencing a problem in your life, I will try to listen with acceptance and understanding (empathy) , in order to help you find your own solutions rather than imposing mine. And I want you to be (such) a listener for me when I need to find solutions to my problems.

Because ours will be a relationship that allows both of us to become what we are capable of being, we will want to continue relating to each other - with mutual concern, caring, and respect.

- Dr. Thomas Gordon
Effectiveness Training, Inc.

Recently, I have been thinking about the different relationships in life. We first start with bonding/attachment as in the parental relationship. Attachment is needed for the child to feel secure, loved. Attachment can be healthy, too much (smothering) or not enough (distanced).
Then we have relationships with siblings.
Then there are relationships with peers, also refereed to as friends.
Friendship is the main "relationship" that I will focus on here.

Speaking from a point of psychology, relationships are necessary to help us feel attached to others. From a spiritual point, relationships/friendships are helpful to attach us to the world. We focus on other people, not just our small/narrow view of the world. It is said in the Bible that God created us (humans) for relationships.


Relationship with God, relationship with Self, and relationship with others.







I have found that as we develop, we put more emphasis on the relationship with "others" than we might on God or Self. Ironically, it is the views of others that shape our opinion of our selves. (This is especially noticed in adolescence, and hence peer pressure, either real or perceived, comes into play here.) Hopefully, we develop someone normal and have relationships which help us to feel happy/content, and as time goes on, we realize that it our opinion of Self that matters, and God's opinion that matters versus the opinions of others (unless of course, we are acting in a way that harms self or others.)

Relationship are dependant on a number of factors. Personality, social skills, boundaries, reciprocity, trust, accountability, and a host of others.

I remember when I was younger, I had low self-esteem, and few friends. I thought that a bad friend (or date) was better than no friend. Well I have changed my mind. One of the key aspects about relationships is reciprocity. Do you get out of the relationship what you put into it? Is the one person doing more of the "work" at maintaining the relationship? Because of my low self-esteem, when younger, I sought to do everything I could to maintain this "friend" otherwise I would be alone. But I came to a realization about a few "friendships" that I had. That they weren't true friendships. We didn't share equally -- either because of our own lack of ability, or because of the lack of trust. True, there are certain people that we only go shopping with, only to the gym with, lunch with -- we save certain activities for that person, but not we do not "share" our lives totally.

In relationships, of any kind, there is give and take. One person is the "giver" and the other is the "taker". A similar theory (psychology) also states that in a relationship. One person is the "pursuer" and the other "recedes". The more that person pursues, the more the other one backs away. When the pursuer stops, the other person stops backing away and moves forward. (I guess the hunter and prey?) When I learned this theory, I remember seeing correlation of said pursuance and avoidance in various relationships. (What about when both back away? Obviously the relationship will break up/die, and wasn't "true" to begin with.)

Over the years, I have had various friends complain about the "needy" someone in their life. It is likely that this "needy" person has had attachment/security failure at some point in their life. Based on what I wrote above, this person is trying to get fulfillment from "others" versus Self or God. I think that we need all three in the relationship.

A Credo For My Relationships

You and I are in a relationship that is important to me, yet we are also separate persons with our own individual values and needs. So that we will better know and understand what each of us values and needs, let us always be open and honest in our communication.

Whenever I'm prevented from meeting my needs by some action of yours, I will tell you honestly and without blame how I am affected, thus giving you the chance to modify your behavior out of respect for my needs. And I want you to be as open with me when my behavior is unacceptable to you.

And when we experience conflict in our relationship, let us agree to resolve each conflict without using power to win at the expense of the other losing. We will always search for a solution that meets both of our needs - neither will lose, both will win.

Whenever you are experiencing a problem in your life, I will try to listen with acceptance and understanding (empathy) , in order to help you find your own solutions rather than imposing mine. And I want you to be (such) a listener for me when I need to find solutions to my problems.

Because ours will be a relationship that allows both of us to become what we are capable of being, we will want to continue relating to each other - with mutual concern, caring, and respect.

- Dr. Thomas Gordon
Effectiveness Training, Inc.

God: One idea ...

This was sent to me via email. It is an interesting commentary on God and the way that humans view him. It is a response to when people doubt God's existence, or question the cause of suffering.


BY ROBIN WILLIAMS, NO LESS.

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen. It's an explanation other people will understand.

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists." "Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine loving a God who

Would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and un-kept.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist." "How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards,

like that man outside." "Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- Affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

If you KNOW God exists, send this to other people---If you think God doesn't exist, then just delete it!

BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING

I think I need to subscribe to a new paper, or perhaps it was a fluke. On the day that I left for my vacation, I picked up a copy of the National Post and it was full of articles related to faith and spirituality. The headlining story was about Mother Teresa. Apparently her letters were not destroyed (contrary to her last requests) and are now available in a recently published book, Mother Teresa: Come be My Light. The letters reflect her spiritual walk and show that she doubted her faith on a regular basis and often felt grief and guilt that she did not "feel" the presence of God as she thought she should. Some people are shocked by this "revelation" -- that the woman revered for her work and devotion to the poor should question her faith and place with God. She was seen as a saint even before her death, hence this revelation casts her in a different light and some people have reacted with outrage that these letters were not destroyed as she asked her followers to do. My thinking on this is not one of shock or disappointment, but rather one of curiosity. The image that she had.. the saintly portrait painted to the world, was not by her choice. She sought to follow her God and to to serve His people. The fact that she spent the majority of her life's work with the poorest of India and yet felt some disconnect from her God is not a loss. The letters show that she tried despite her personal struggle. This is what I understand a relationship with God to be. Searching to be closer to God regardless of one's interior relationship with self, this is what spiritual journey is. Seeking God regardless of the ills one is facing (real or perceived) is what spiritual growth is. Often we feel comfortable with our faith and perhaps get lazy, stopping where we are. Other things in life occur, negative events, illness and other hardships and some people are led to turn from God and walk away from their religion and sometimes their faith. Mother Teresa's letters are an example of persistance even when one does not know the outcome, when one may not feel the inner growth on a conscious level or ever....
This is the journey of faith and hope. And those who minister either in office or otherwise (as I believe we are all called to service in some form-- big or small) may never really see results from their service, but continue in the hope that in that some small way we have contributed to the service of God and His people. Results may never be seen by us, but they will be seen by God.

Is it okay to be angry with God?

Is it wrong to be mad at God? Have you ever been mad at God? From time to time, I meet people who have had bad experiences with their religious traditions, varying degrees of understanding about God, faith and all of it. Recently, I went to meet a woman on one of my units. After introducing myself and stating my role on the team, she began the interrogation about "who are you with", meaning what tradition did I represent. Was I a student or intern?
[This line of questioning is not new for me. People often want to know what I want, who I'm with,.. define me so they can put in "the box" and determine what/whether they want to talk to me. I get a lot of responses to my introduction. "I'm not religious" to which I usually reply "I'm not either". I usually get a funny look at this point, and then I proceed to explain my understanding of religion vs. spirituality.]
So I tell her I am not a student, that I work here. I'm part of the team.
She says " Well I ask because I am the Reverend (not real name) Jane MacDonald of the ________ Church of Canada."
This surprised me, and I said...ooooh. (I know what you want now.) I'm Reverend Kathryn _______ with the BUWC. " And here we launched in an interesting discussion about ministry and some of the similar issues that we faced as women in ministry. She was in hospital with a significant illness and after talking with me for a while, told me that she was angry with God for the way her life seemed to be going. I was a little surprised when she told me this, as she seemed to be upbeat when talking about her ministry life.

Often when I meet patients who are "angry with God", I do not always know how far our relationship will progress. A lot of people that I meet in my work have major illness, not just one issue, but it is cumulative, meaning there are numerous issues occuring simultaneously or I meet them after they have faced a sucession of progressive health issues. Some are elderly and after their recent admission, it may be determined that they are not deemed safe to return their home where they were once independant and thriving.

So is it okay to be mad at God? Of course it is not a feeling we like, to be angry. But my response is that it is sometimes necessary and healthy to express our discontent, or angry, to God. He can take it. If you read the Psalms, you will see various examples of David's discontent expressed to God. Job was perplexed at his situation, and Jonah was ticked at God for sending him to Nenevah. This story tells us that even after Jonah was expelled from the whale's belly and on dry land, he still sulked outside of the city.
So yes, it is "okay" to be mad at God, but it is my hope and prayer that when that happens that it doesn't last too long.

So, this minister lady tells me a few visits later that my presence has "tinkled her ivories" (use of piano analogy was hers). She said just the fact that I showed up got her thinking about her relationship with God and she has begun the journey of reconciliation with God. Why she was mad isn't really the issue at the moment, but seeing if she can forgive the situation to renew her life with God. I find that when people are mad at God, it is usually related to an illness or death. Something they did not expect to happen. I suppose this is based on an idea that God causes suffering at a sort. Sometimes the anger is directed at God, but it is related to the actions or inactions of people. In particular, within the Christian experience, we are taught to love and care for all persons due to their association with or fact of being a part of God's creation. When humans fail, or when the church fails to minister to the needs of the individual, some times it is so bad that the injured party decides to leave the church and cuts themself off from anything related. I think that sometimes being angry at God is displaced, (not misplaced), as God is often associated with religion. A person may have a problem with structure or suffered a bad experience, and as such they associate that with God. So the anger is displaced.

So to repeat, it is not wrong to be angry with God. But keep talking to Him. When we have a fight with someone, say our spouse or friend, hanging on to anger, even if justified, hurts you more than it hurts the other person. The same thing applies to God. You and God are in a relationship. Not talking to him, holding on to the anger will hurt you more than it hurts Him. I find that anger looses its grip or doesn't seem so intense after a time, but unfortunately a relationship (with humans) is often too far damaged to repair as people move on. The other thing to note about anger is that even when it feels weak, it can actually change shape and hold us at a deeper level, known as bitterness. This was described to me in a psychology class as floating on the water. The longer we hang on to anger, it starts to sink, and then it is ingrained/embedded deeper becoming bitterness. Bitterness is harder to work through than anger.

Okay that's my thoughts for this week.

Looking for the Divine... wherever we can

A smudge of driveway sealant resembling Jesus Christ's face on the garage floor of Deb Serio's home in Forest, Va., shown Wednesday, Aug. 8, 2007, has fetched more than $1,500 for the family that found the holy image on its garage floor. The Serio family put the slab of concrete up for auction on eBay more than a week ago. Wednesday, they got a taker at $1,525.69. (AP Photo/News & Daily Advance, Jill Nance)

I should call this entry.. people are weird. I don't see it. I don't know why people have venerated objects that seem to have the likeness of someone... the Mother Teresa bagel, the Elvis potato chip, etc. Over the years, we have heard various reports of images of famous people, but more specific it is images of the Holy. Jesus seen in walls, drapery, Mary, the mother of Christ.. statues weeping.. okay the statues weeping is different, but my point is that people/society have been searching for the Holy or Divine Presence of God among us for eons. The irony is, about this particular piece of pavement, is that it is thought to look like our popular artistic rendition of Christ. We don't know what Christ, the historical man looked like, hence the veneration of this as a relic?

Not sure what to think, but I sometimes wonder if we aren't misguided in our search for God. People are obsessed with tangible evidence of God. The search for the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, the Shroud of Turin.. all of these are items that we can try to hold or capture God with, but forgetting the other tangible evidence of God with us...

What is wrong with people???

The following was in the paper today. I am appalled that this would occur in a church of all places. I guess this goes to show that people do not understand the concept of "sacred". I realize that the "church" or place of worship is not limited to the building. But the purpose of the "worship space" is that it is designated as a holy, or sacred place, and the acts of worship is meant to connote and provide a place for people to commune with the holy. If we can't even feel safe in our church, where can we be safe?

The second point that this incident brings up is the concept of helping people who are in need. There are many people who genuinely need help (money, food, clothing, place to live) and there are those who wish to help. Once again, this incident brings up evidence that we cannot help everyone who asks for assistance. Some people don't really want the "help" that it dispensed. .. I will end my comments for now as this likely opens another can of worms from friends with whom I have had this conversation with over the years. It is just disheartening to hear of this incident. While I am glad that the perpetrator was caught, I am led wonder at how/if he will get help.

Elderly man assaulted in church by panhandler

The 79-year-old victim offered his attacker money when confronted

Linda Nguyen

Vancouver Sun

Friday, August 03, 2007

Vancouver police are seeking a violent panhandler caught on a surveillance camera assaulting an elderly parishioner who had offered him money inside downtown's Holy Rosary Cathedral.

The 79-year-old man was robbed Wednesday morning in what police called a "heartless and shocking" attack inside the Richards Street church.

Very Rev. Glenn Dion said Peter Collins has been a church parishioner for at least 30 years. A retired doctor, he lives nearby, walks to morning mass every day, and sometimes also goes to afternoon service.

"He's an elderly gentleman, really frail in his physical health and stamina," Dion said. "He's always here saying his prayers and being kindly to people. Everyone knows and recognizes him."

The grainy black-and-white surveillance images show Collins holding out a bill to a panhandler inside the church vestibule around 7:30 a.m. The panhandler makes a grab for the man's wallet, then picks him up and throws him to the floor. While Collins is on the floor, the panhandler takes money from the wallet and flees, leaving the wallet behind.

"This is a particularly cowardly act, not just on a senior citizen but on a senior citizen who offered him [the panhandler] some money," Vancouver police Const. Howard Chow said Thursday. "And this all took place inside the sanctuary of a church."

Chow said Collins had given the panhandler $5 before the morning service every day for the past four days. On Wednesday, he was running late and promised to give him some money after the service.

That's when Collins -- alone with the panhandler inside the church -- was confronted and attacked. Dion called 911 after Collins went to the church's office for help. He said Collins has memory lapses due to his age, but was very clear about what had happened.

By the time the police and ambulance arrived, Collins insisted he only had "minor tissue damage" and refused to be taken to hospital, Dion said. Instead, he borrowed a cane and walked home.

Later that day, he walked back to the church and returned it "because he didn't want to be seen with a cane anymore."

Despite some hip injuries, Collins went to morning mass on Thursday, a church official said.

Dion said panhandlers are a growing problem for his downtown parish.

"Some of them are pretty aggressive, pretty well insistent. They frighten people," he said. "It's a big problem."

Holy Rosary isn't the only church that has had problems with panhandlers. In June, the congregation of First United Church at Gore and East Hastings in the Downtown Eastside was disbanded after 122 years of worship. The congregation had been dwindling because people were intimidated by a growing nearby homeless population.

Dion said his church struggles to deal with the homeless every day and regularly calls police for help dealing with them. "It's one of the challenges of running a downtown parish," Dion said.

"We have people coming in here and they're in another world, they're either doped up or drunk up or else have psychological impairment and they do crazy things in the church."

The church installed four surveillance cameras, he said, "to be able to see in the office if there's any nonsense going on and if there is, we have to run out there and jump at it. We have to deal with whatever we have to. In this case, we were able to see the actual assault [after it had] taken place."

He said church staff regularly deal with people disrupting services, sleeping between the pews and have even encountered naked people in the church.

Some churchgoers have been intimidated from attending service after panhandlers made threatening comments about their cars when they refused to give money.

Lorne Mayencourt, the MLA for Vancouver-Burrard, who put forward two acts -- now passed -- targeting aggressive panhandling, said Thursday he's already received two phone calls from seniors who fear this particular panhandler.

"You think a church is a sanctuary for seniors but I've had two people call and say that this guy scares them and they don't even want to be walking around alone."

Vancouver police say the panhandler is well-known around the church. A few years ago, he kicked a church maintenance worker. "Our investigators are upset about this," Chow said. "We want to try to identify this guy before he does something like this again."

Professional panhandler' in custody

Darcy Jones faces one count of robbery

The Province

Friday, August 03, 2007

Vancouver police have made an arrest in the attack and robbery of an elderly man as he left Vancouver's Holy Rosary Cathedral Wednesday morning.

Darcy Lance Jones, 43, is facing a charge of robbery, and remains in police custody.

Jones was nabbed by police at the corner of Pender and Richards after he was spotted by a loss-prevention officer from the Downtown Vancouver Business Improvement Association.

He is known to police and familiar to many in the area, and calls himself a "professional panhandler."

Witnesses to the attack say a bearded man who regularly panhandles outside the church attacked the longtime parishioner in what police called a "heartless and shocking" assault.

The attack, caught on surveillance video, shows the victim being knocked to the ground before the suspect takes off with the contents of his wallet.

The 79-year-old victim had given the panhandler $5 every day that week, but when he tried to give him the money on this occasion he was assaulted instead.

Vancouver police spokesman Const. Howard Chow said his advice to people confronted by an aggressive panhandler is to remain polite, but walk away and phone police.

He said although the number of panhandlers appears to be down, police still receive a lot of complaints from store owners and the public.

Chow noted it was a challenge to deal with some of the more aggressive ones because they often "have mental health issues or are drug addicted."

The victim of the attack injured his hip but is expected to be OK. Global News showed footage of the retired doctor returning to church for mass Friday morning.

He has been reluctant to talk to the media about the incident.

And then it .. disappeared..

So, for those of you who are "regular" readers, you are probably wondering what happened... where did this blog go for the past 2 weeks? Why was it offline? Well it's not a bad thing... just made me think.

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email asking if I would consent to an interview about chaplains who blog. The person was writing an article about chaplains and their use of technology, such as electronic charting. So they wanted to include me as I am Canadian and this would be for the American Association. So I thought about it and asked my boss what she thought of it. Her response was that she didn't think I should do the interview, nor should I be blogging. The concern was that some of the things I mention about my work might be misinterpreted by someone as being about them or friend or whatever, and we might get sued. Why is it that the world is SO concerned about suing? I mean that we should be concerned/aware of our actions, but why is our society having this mindset in the first place? If something isn't working, we throw it out. If a relationship is going south, we can just get a divorce. If we don't like our job, we get quit and get a new one. What ever happened to working it out? Persistence?

Any how, sorry for the mini rant.. but that is part of why/where I have been for the past two weeks.. I decided to edit the blog and remove the unnecessary stuff. Some of the early writings about the wedding, etc are still in there, but most of this is tailored for the "spiritual care" aspect... so ta for now until I think of something else to write.

CAPPE 2008

All right.. so you are probably wondering what's been going on. I haven't been writing anything. Well I have finally gotten around to working on my CAPPE 2008 conference stuff. We are having the annual National conference in Victoria next year. My group is the host and I got roped into not just helping but co-chairing the event. So I haven't really been able to focus until lately. (And none too soon I might add.) We have 9 months left!! and I haven't gotten food, or entertainment or whatever nailed down. We have "feelers" out there but no real definites.. there is a meeting on Monday so I have to be able to tell them something in the way of progress......

The theme we have chosen is "Return to the Garden". This is a conference for CAPPE members and others in the spiritual care/counseling field, and for anyone who is interested enough to pay the money to attend. Never know what we are getting as the presenters are always different, the plenary/keynote speakers vary and the attendance as well.

So, have to go do more but I'll get back on this in a moment... FYI: the bullentin boards from previous post are getting comments/good feedback, so I must be doing something right.

Bulletin Board

This past week I changed the bulletin board. We were given this space in a high traffic area of our hospital. The first 2 uploads are what was there... "Take time for the small pleasures in life... take time for you."

It has been changed to educate about grief. We plan to do education/inspiration variations every month.

From the mouth of babes ..

Yesterday in church, the minister started the sermon with a story. He said that he was at a meeting when one of the men told them of something his 5 year old daughter did.

She was sitting at the table for dinner. Her mother put 5 peas on her plates and told her that she had to eat them before she could have dessert. The mother left the room but watched the girl to see what she would do. The girl took the peas and hid them under the edge of her plate.
Her mother returned to the room and asked if the girl had finished her peas.
The girl replied. "Yes I did."
"Are you lying to mommy?"
"No, I not."
Her mother looks at her. "Does God think that you are lying to mommy?"
"Yes He does." came the reply.

At this point, the audience burst into laughter.
(The point of the illustration was to say that even a 5 year old knows what is right or wrong, but often we adults blur the lines.)

Loss of hope.. an epidemic

This past weekend, there was a theme at work. It seems that too many people are depressed and have lost hope. I was paged for a 93 year old woman who kept asking why can't I help her die. She had lost her family members and friends had died as well. She saw nothing worth living for.
Then as I was leaving the building for the day. I was paged twice for 2 other depressed patients in various parts of the building. So I went to talk to the first person I was paged for. It was urgent. This was a man who was also depressed. His story told me of a lot of losses in his life -- relationships, faith community, declining health.

There are a lot of people whom I hear about that are depressed and have lost hope. Often at work, there are referrals to psychiatry and then the person is given anti-depressants. I believe that these are valid, but often I find the depression is related to a grief reaction. As per the common understanding of grief, written by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, depression is a stage/reaction of grief. It is one of my frustrations that my profession is forgotten when it comes to issues like loss of hope, or wanting to die. Regardless of how much we educate, obviously there is still more work to be done.

So the 93 year old was most difficult. She was saying that I should "push the red button", bring her the gun and she would do it... "I will". It was hard to know what to say. The nursing staff and I weren't giving her the answers that she wanted... in the end, she was appeased by a peanut butter sandwich. This distracted her for about 20 minutes..

It makes me wonder though. What is it that causes people to give up? To lose hope and to want to die. Often there is something missing in life, and sometimes it relates to an ideal not reached..
makes me wonder.

The stuff that life is made of...

I did not know this man, but his life and passing will affect my life and it will affect yours too. every person, regardless of how we know them, or don't, has a part to play in the order of things. It is unfortunate that he died and the way that his life ended. It is unfortunate that, quite often, we don't get to know the greatness, beauty and accomplishments of someone until they die. I often go to memorial services or funerals for people that I did not know very well, or at all, and I cry most of the time that I am there. Another beautiful soul that is gone, vanished from our existence/earth, and we will not get to tell them this. I regret that I did not get to know the person too well, either by default, or "I didn't have the time".
What makes this story more tragic, is that this man, Chris, lived with/took time to"deal with a broken heart." We are all broken people, but some of us are not given the chance or the choice to heal.

Spiritual Retreat

This past weekend was the CAPPE BC spring meeting. We had a retreat versus the traditional business meeting. The ambiance was calming and the day was called "Quiet Day for Nourishment" (and I forget the rest). We were led in guided meditations and given time for artistic expression. That being a mandala. Mandalas are designs that you color. The process is about the color. Sometimes it is an expression of the inner self expressing a theme. People expressed surprise at what came out. The symbolism and choice of colors. We were given opportunity for reflection and meditation as well. It was a good day, much needed.

Space in Between

In the end, it all comes down to what we think about this life here on earth. Isn't that it? We are all looking out the window to see what is coming into view. We are all waiting for ... something. Yesterday in Sunday's class, our group had a discussion related to our continuing series about the difficult questions in our Christian faith. The question we were to discuss was "how important is a belief in the afterlife?" Those of us present, about 12 of us, agreed that we believe in an afterlife-- that is there is a heaven and hell. We didn't really get around to discussing what we think heaven or hell is like, but instead spent our time discussing the impact that this belief has on this life here.
A point that I brought up is that we do not really discuss the "afterlife" or death until we have to (such as terminal illness, or deathbed) and at times, it can be too late as many unresolved issues surface and cannot be dealt with adequately. When these issues do surface, it is the perspective that we have about our death that puts our life in perspective. It is what we think about our death, where we will go, what happens when we die, that impacts the way we live our life. Hence we spend our time here in the Space in Between waiting until the end occurs. Waiting to be in the presence of God, wondering what it is like. But also wondering if it is how we imagine, wondering...
Looking out the window and waiting for something to come. for time to pass and the big event, or any event to occur.
But it is what we think lies at the end of the road that makes the waiting purposeful and with meaning. It is the end result that shapes how we live out the days of our life here in the space between.

You learn something new everyday... but did I want to learn this?

Yesterday I received a referal to see a patient on one of my units. He has a terminal illness and thought he should starting thinking about/make plans for his death. So I'm in his room, I've explained that the nurse called me after their conversation, and we have talked about his life and various issues for about 45 minutes, when he asked "so what are you for?" That was when I had to get blunt. "The nurse said that you were thinking about end of life issues and wanted to make some decisions like a will and such." He responded with "yes. I want my body shipped to [country overseas] when I die. My family over there can't really do it and there is no one here but me. So I figure I should do what I can now." So .. yesterday I learned about how you ship a body from Canada to an international country. I called up a local funeral home, told him that I had an odd request from a patient and wondered how to do this. It's a lot of paperwork really.

Say you die and you want to shipped to England, or Africa or wherever.. you need your birth certificate, the names of your parents, where you were born, where they were born, the name of the cemetery where you will be buried, the name of the funeral home in that country, your passport. You need to have permission from the consulate, (embassy), the town where you wish to be buried. But the main thing that will determine is the fee of the transport.. the airplane. Gas and other fees -- but the interesting thing is that it is cheaper to buy the casket (for burial) in the other country and to have a sealed shipping container for the body. The reason being that airlines charge by dimensions and weight.

Experience of God

This morning, I had to go back to work after the "holiday" and it has been steady. I am often called into interesting situations and some of them challenge my comfort zone, others are my "forte". Today I was paged to see a man who had requested our services. I had no idea why, the nurses did not specify.. so I went to his room and introduced myself. He wanted to go to the chapel but was not allowed to go alone due to his recent heart surgery. He needed someone with him in case something happened.

So we saunter down to the chapel and sit down. There is another person in the chapel praying, so I told him to sit anywhere. I went to the other side of the room for quiet meditation and prayer. After a while, we started to leave but instead sat down at the back of the chapel where he continued his story begun on our walk down to the chapel. He told me that he had started the 12 step program for NA and his journey to this point. I am always awed at the journey of some people. I felt very privileged to hear his story and told him so. He talked about being in contact with his Higher Power and how he came to this realization. And his experience of God, as I call Him. "It's better than any high that drugs can give you. I wish I had discovered this 40 years ago then I wouldn't have had to waste my life as I did."

He described vibrations and sensations attributed to the Higher Power. I told him that he is lucky to experience the presence of God in this way as many people take their relationship with God for granted. (I realize that it could be withdrawal, but the way he described it, I don't think that it was withdrawal. ) He explained that he has had such a warmth and peace spread through out him that he doesn't worry too much about the surgeries and "unknown" future.

I think is a great gift. Not everyone is able to "experience" God working in their lives. Some people experience it but do not know what it is, do not pay attention, and others long for it, seeking others methods to reach God. The irony is that as Mankind searches for God, God reaches out to us in ways that we can't often fathom.

Usually when someone says "the experience of God", the listener assumes conversion experience. This is the first realization of the power of God. Paul/Saul on the road to Damascus experienced God in a dramatic way. But this is not the way everyone meets God. Some people are brought to their knees, while others enter into God's presence through a logical route/thought process. Each experience of God is just as real as the next, because every individual is unique/different, hence the experience and relationship with God will be just as unique. It is when we tell people that their experience of God is false, that we turn people off. One woman I met told me that she had a near death experience, and gained much inner power from it, but was told by a doctor that her experience was a part of a delirium and hence negated.

When we preach AT them, versus talking WITH them. I have heard of so many people (whom I meet in my work, either staff, patients, families) who have a faith or belief in God, but have been so turned off of organized religion/worship. I have been told time and time again that it was a "well meaning person" (my opinion) who tried to guilt them into something, or chastised them for their problems that they had, that in the end, the person left the community of faith. How this affects their experience of God has always been a wonder to me.. I hope it does not paint God in a negative light.